To want separate finances with kids

[LittleGwyneth]

DH and I have separate finances, which I like. We each take responsibility for different bills, which works out as him paying about 65% of our expenses and me paying 45%, which mirrors our respective incomes. Obviously if we did split up this would be irrelevant, but I'm hoping we'll be on a beach in Bournemouth with a flask of tea in fifty years.

My reason for wanting separate finances are manifold, but mostly that I like the freedom and control over my own ££ that it allows me. But as we're going to start TTC I was wondering whether other people have made this work with kids? I would be super grateful if anyone who has children and separate finances could clue me in on how you do it. Our friends are all very private about money so I've got no idea what's normal.

Did your DH give you money during the SMP period of your maternity leave? Do you pay for childcare based on your respective earnings? Do you have a joint account where you both pay in a chunk each month (I would be open to doing that - I presume that still counts as separate).

Any guidance (other than telling me that separate finances somehow undermines our whole marriage) much appreciated.

@GoatCheeseTart

Isn't it a bit of a faff to keep tabs and charge each other for half a fork?

It’s not for me and it works. I don’t charge everything mainly things that I think that are worth splitting and same happens with him. He doesn’t charge me everything to the penny.

It works for us. If it doesn’t work for other people fair enough. We’re not all the same in this world at the end of the day.

I would never want to have pooled finances and would be terrified of a joint "family pot" but I think from a practicality point of view it does make sense to have a joint account for bills and childcare expenses when you have small children.

If you're on mat leave or have scaled down work for childcare reasons your DH should be paying more into that I think.