DD moved in with boyfriend

[Fandangoes]

I have put this in AIBU even though I know I am being unreasonable but I do need advice on how to feel better about this. DD is 19 and still at college, hasn’t been seeing her boyfriend very long but has decided she wants to live with him at his relatives. I hate it! She has barely come to visit since and when she does it’s always with her boyfriend. I feel like I have lost her. We always had a good relationship but she has dropped any friends she had and her whole life is revolving round this boy and acting like an old person! Going to tesco and making tea! I want her to have fun, you don’t get your youth back! She also seems to be going to his family for help and advice instead of us it just really hurts! I know I need to let her grow up and live her own life but....

I think learning not to drop your friends when you have new relationships is a key learning point in life. There are some (older) adults who have never got this. It, more than often, leads to unhappy relationships because the one partner who dropped their mates has only one focus (the partner) so it becomes a v lopsided relationship.

I don't think there is much you can say now. But I did purposefully tell my kids about this because I made that mistake once when I was about her age and when my other half broke up with me, I was doubly devastated because I lost my partner and then discovered my old friends were off doing other things because I had abandoned them for years! I never made that mistake again!

I'm a couple of years older than WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants but that could be me writing.

Erm... just a thought, but is there any any chance she is overstaying her welcome? I would be furious to have an extra teen staying indefinitely at home just because she is in love with my child. Actually, after that time, I would be sending the two of them back to your house and changing the locks.

Apparently not Karma, they have told her she is welcome to stay there as long as she likes!! I did try to suggest to her that they might just be being polite but she is adamant so I can't push it without looking like I am the baddie