Would you rehome the cat?

[MrsJunglelow]

She is driving me crazy.
She is destructive, she has ruined sofas, rugs, stairs, curtains...

We have spent so much on scratching posts and activity centres over the years for her that she will use, but not exclusively.

Her big thing now is the bed.
I am so stressed with it.
I can’t get a proper nights sleep because I am woken by the scratching.
At first it was scratching because she wanted to let out which was bad enough but now sometimes it appears to be just for fun.
She’ll scratch, I’ll get up to let her out and she’ll run off somewhere I can’t catch her.
Sometimes I’m up three or so times a night and struggle to get back to sleep.

I am so, so tired.

I could shut the door but then she’ll ruin something else..

It’s getting to the point where I dread letting her in and don’t want to go to sleep.

DH wants her gone but she is a sweet cat apart from her destructiveness and the children like her.

I don’t know what to do.

What would you do?

Rehome her to a family that loves her and lets her be a cat

poor thing. She deserves to live somewhere she will be treated well. Regime her responsibly.

Either make a room where she can’t do any damage or get a large (very very large) dog crate and pop her in at night or when you go out.
Out cat is locked in the garage at night, there’s the boiler in there so it’s warm. Her bed is on the boiler. She attacks sleeping humans! Bit of a problem but we’ve worked round it.
Throws over sofas, Asda do very reasonably priced huge fleece ones. Also stops children marking the sofas. The cat doesn’t have to have access to the whole house. Limit where she can go.

How old is she? Is she still v young? Have you tried Feliway plug ins to calm her down? Is she being played with a lot during the day time?

Cats do scratch everything, that's what they do. And it's never the designated things you buy them. It's always the sofa 😁

Does she have outdoor access? A lot of this behaviour sounds like boredom and excess energy. If you can (and don’t already) start letting her outside. If that’s not possible, try and make her indoor environment more stimulating. Cats really benefit from climbing so if you can get shelves to go up high, like the picture I’ve attached, she can wear herself out on those.

Can you shut her in a kitchen overnight where there is less she can destroy?

It’s also worth playing with her, using stimulating cat toys, for a good amount of time each day. Cats get bored easily, and if you can engage her and wear her out in the day she’s less likely to be destructive at night.

It’s ultimately your decision whether or not you rehome her, but you should try everything else first. Remember that the very same reasons uni don’t want her in your home will make it hard to find a new home for her, so it’s not a straightforward solution to the problem.

There's a reason for it, she's probably bored or wanting to play cats can be very active at night. Do you have a room or area you can shut her in? My cat goes into the utility room at night he has food toys and a comfy bed if he's being boisterous or in the downstairs area he does not come upstairs at night as he can scratch the carpets and wake us up at 4am.

You need to be shutting her in somewhere and playing with her in the day you can try spraying some cat nip spray on a scratching post my cat didn't start using it until I did this.

Sorry forgot picture - here is what I meant

You said you've tried a lot 'over the years' so if you've had her this long, it would be really bloody cruel to rehome her. Have you spoken to a vet or cat behaviourist?

I do feel sorry for you. My current cat has destroyed everything on a large scale for the last 19 years, some do. The carpet isn't being changed until after shes gone its all shredded. The lovely new sofa is shrouded in throws and the bed has a metal frame. 19 years!!!! But I love this cat. So what can you do. I find they are more destructive if bored. Is the cat allowed out? Since I made the garden more interesting with a pond etc shes been a lot better. Funny how the cat scratching post is pristine. She won't even look at it.

I would look at diet and other stuff first.

Is she on a good diet?
Mine has a fairly good quality food, which works out cheaper.

She has Royal Canin, which is 35g of biscuits and 1 pouch a day.

I give her the 1 pouch at 21.00, close the kitchen/lounge door so she can't come up and she eats, then sleeps on the sofa, or in her bed.

Litter tray available.

She also won't use tall scratch posts, but loves the wide flat cardboard ones, made by Catit.

With food - They say Felix & Whiskas is like crack cocaine giving a child sweets, it doesnt fill them up and makes them crave more.

Hence the trying to wake you at night by scratching & wanting to play?

Could she be hungry and wanting more food?

I would ask for this to be moved to the litter tray on here, lots of advice from cat owners who don't go on AIBU.

My cat was a little devil for a while he would 'hunt' dh pounce on him and bite him constantly begging for food and scratching things. Feliway, being put away at night, toys, a change in diet, cat nip on the cat scratching post seems to have improved his behaviour he's amazing now sometimes they can be naughty but you make a commitment when you get them.

Also if the children are old enough, get a cat laser pen and give her 15 mins a night play before the kids go to bed, cats need & enjoy the attention/mental stimulation of the pen.

You don't say how old she is, or whether she is an exclusively indoor cat - but she sounds bored, I agree with PPs, spend more time playing with her to use up her energy, restrict her access if you have space to do that - my sisters cat used to sleep in the utility room.

Mine has 3 pouches in the day time then a pouch before bed he knows then it will be time to get locked in and he will go to sleep happily.

Has she had her claws cut? You can either carefully do this yourself or the vet can do it. My cats tend to scratch less after we have cut their claws. Felliway is also good to calm cats down. You can get plug-ins or a spray.

If I let my cats out of the kitchen of a night into my room then I'd expect no sleep either, but they also have full access to outside. One cat brings in mice and birds frequently, which I hate. If my room was open she'd bring them to me. I hate it, but I wouldn't rehome her - I'd work round something that was stressing me out like this.

There are some good suggestions on here. I've voted YABU.

Op I sympathise. Our last cat woke through the night due to hyperthyroidism. We didn’t sleep all night for a year. I loved him but when he died I realised just how unused to sleeping uninterrupted. Medicine really helped. He wasn’t destructive just howled. I’d talk to the vet for advice.

Our cats have always slept in the kitchen at night , they’ve never had free roam while we are asleep or I’d never get any sleep at all! The most they do is remove the kick board under the sink , he thinks it’s hilarious.. or they attack the washing up sponge if I forget to put it away after washing up so I get through a lot of sponges !
They know when bed time is and go in the kitchen themselves happily although I suppose it may be a bit late for you to try that .
The same cat (kickboard cat) has started on the stair carpet which he’s never done before as they’ve always been good with their scratching posts but I think that’s because they sense a change as we hope to move very soon and everything is in boxes so he’s abit thrown off .
Small step but could you try a Coir mat? That’s the first thing my cats head to when I let them out in the morning as some cats prefer scratching horizontally rather than vertically.

How old is your cat? Younger cats can be rehomed, as there are a lot of people who prefer to have an adult cat to a kitten who although fun and cute will cause mayhem. I had to do rehome our four year old cat last year because his aggression was getting worse and he was biting my DDs. (Never badly but it was becoming worse and I had safety concerns, especially with my DDs’ friends coming round to play.). That rehoming was a complete success and he’s now a pampered only cat whereas he was one of four cats with me.

OTOH, my much older cat years ago grew more and more stressed when we adopted DD1 10 years ago at one year of age and developed all sorts of health problems. I knew she could never be happy again at our house (despite being attached to me), so I asked the vet about rehoming her. She gently told me that a thirteen year old cat with the health problems she had would never cope with being rehomed and that the only course of action for her would be to be PTS.

Rehoming an older cat would be very cruel. You’ve had lots of helpful suggestions from PPs. We shut our cats out of rooms when they’re in a playful mood.

You say your DD loves the cat. How old is she? Could you encourage her to play with it? And, unless it’s an indoor cat, maybe it should spend more time outdoors.

Oh also you can get anti scratching spray that I think is citronella , spray it where the cat scratches and any other corners etc..

@fluffybutter does the cat show any other interest in getting in behind kitchen units (going into a low cupboard if left open or anything)?

Its just that when my childhood cat became interested in getting behind the kitchen sink, it was because he could hear rats scratching in the foundations of the house, which needed to be professionally dealt with...

Is it an indoor cat? Could you compromise by letting her out in the daylight only. Some cats don’t do well as indoor cats, I know because I tried to keep my cat indoors for safety at first.

It sounds like you’re trying to confine her to one room or something from your post. She should be able to access more of the house at night so she doesn’t get bored.

Without more information it's hard to know. The three pertinent questions are:

Does she have outdoor access (and is it via a cat flap)
If she's indoor only, is she neutered?
How old is she?

And a fourth - does she seem to like other cats? Could a feline companion help?

@Tinkerbellflowers

Has she had her claws cut? You can either carefully do this yourself or the vet can do it. My cats tend to scratch less after we have cut their claws. Felliway is also good to calm cats down. You can get plug-ins or a spray.

You should only cut claws if cats are indoor only. Outdoor cats need their cats for climbing, to escape threats/predators and for defence.

Please do NOT put her in a crate every night! She will hate this.
Ideally, cats need access to the outdoors, i.e. a catflap. If you can’t giver her this, then you need more for her to interact with inside and more playtime during the day as pp have said.