Would you rehome the cat?

[MrsJunglelow]

She is driving me crazy.
She is destructive, she has ruined sofas, rugs, stairs, curtains...

We have spent so much on scratching posts and activity centres over the years for her that she will use, but not exclusively.

Her big thing now is the bed.
I am so stressed with it.
I can’t get a proper nights sleep because I am woken by the scratching.
At first it was scratching because she wanted to let out which was bad enough but now sometimes it appears to be just for fun.
She’ll scratch, I’ll get up to let her out and she’ll run off somewhere I can’t catch her.
Sometimes I’m up three or so times a night and struggle to get back to sleep.

I am so, so tired.

I could shut the door but then she’ll ruin something else..

It’s getting to the point where I dread letting her in and don’t want to go to sleep.

DH wants her gone but she is a sweet cat apart from her destructiveness and the children like her.

I don’t know what to do.

What would you do?

To answer some questions:

• I’m not sure exactly how old she is, I think she is around 5.
• she is spayed
• she is not an indoor cat, she tends to come in in the morning, have breakfast, sleep a few hours, go outside, come inside, have dinner then sleep upstairs until she starts scratching then goes outside.
• I have tried playing with her but she loses interest very quickly.

She gets lively from 7/8pm ish where she plays with the dog or toys but she isn’t really keen on playing with us, she just runs round playing by herself until dinner time.

• I am fairly sure she isn’t stressed
• someone mentioned another cat, absolutely not!

What if I had two of them destroying my house?! She is a shy little girl anyway, I’m not sure she’d like a cat friend.

My cat sleeps in a kind of utility room at night with the dog and he's fine with that, no way would I have him in my bedroom at night, I did when he was a kitten and would usually wake up to him walking on my face

Our cat is locked in the kitchen at night. She has access to the garage with a litter tray via a cat flap.
If she was loose in the house she would scratch at our bedroom doors all night or pounce on us and bite and scratch if our doors were open.
Create a safe and destruction proof area for night time, preferably behind a closed door. Some cats are just like this. Still love them though

Mines another that gets shut in the kitchen at night. On the odd occasion we let them out I’m always woken several times.

This is so strange. How does she have that much energy if shes out all day? 🤔

I’ve found books written by Vicky Halls, a cat behaviour therapist, with strategies to deal with problem behaviour in cats.

Feliway plug-ins can also make a big difference.

Our cats prefer to stay in all day then they go outside all night. They’re out from 11pm til 7am, they’re pretty happy with the set up and we don’t get woken up.

I am pleased to see so many fellow kitchen kitties. I resisted for so long because I thought it was unkind, now I wonder why I thought that.

On the odd occasion in the summer when ours won't come in at night we prop the back door open and move her bed and other kit into the utility room, then lock the middle door. That doesn't work brilliantly, as she comes and howls on the bedroom windowsill, but it does at least stop her doing it for a wee while.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses

I am pleased to see so many fellow kitchen kitties. I resisted for so long because I thought it was unkind, now I wonder why I thought that.

On the odd occasion in the summer when ours won't come in at night we prop the back door open and move her bed and other kit into the utility room, then lock the middle door. That doesn't work brilliantly, as she comes and howls on the bedroom windowsill, but it does at least stop her doing it for a wee while.

We always kept the pets in the kitchen at night growing up so I just followed . So glad I did reading all these ! I tried it once years ago and woke up with a kitten on my face

Our cat isn't allowed upstairs during the night we keep him in the kitchen simply because he wakes us up and scratches at the carpets trying to get into the rooms. During the day he needs lots of attention, playtime, time outside and a quiet place to rest. We also have lots of scratch posts /boards and have trained him using catnip, treats and positive attention to encourage behaviour we want. He's only 9 months old but on the days we've.

Cats need attention, lots of scratch posts, plenty of play, exercise. They can be trained to a point but you must respect the cat before they respect you.

Personally I think you may need to re-home as your relationship had broken down unless your prepared to put in a lot of time, patience and love.

Our cat also has access to the whole house during the day and he's allowed outside but only during daylight hours. We play with him every evening. Just pole toys and balls. If my teenage son ignores him or doesn't play with him he starts to get nippy with him because he wants the attention.

Poor cat. You don't sound responsible at all. A cat isn't a toy.

You don't sound responsible at all. A cat isn't a toy
Oh stop it.
There’s always one.
The cat has had many different scratch posts and activity centres of different shapes, sizes and materials over the years.

We have also tried to play with her more but as I said she gets bored easily and just isn’t really interested.

She isn’t neglected in any way.

Mine used to be a devil for scratching carpets, and the bottom of the sofa and bed. He had scratching posts but wasn't interested. I found these and he loves them, I think he was just to lazy to stand up and scratch 🤔 www.amazon.co.uk/AMZNOVA-Scratch-Lounge-Durable-Cardboard/dp/B06Y5WNLHW?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Tried those cardboard ones before unfortunately

@MrsJunglelow

Tried those cardboard ones before unfortunately

Coir door mat?

I would get a vet check.
Can you have areas she can scratch and use catnip to tempt her there? One of ours liked logs!!
I would shut her away overnight from things you don’t want destroyed.

@Beagledbybeagle

If you get rid of her thenplease never get another pet they will all be an inconvenience to you.

^^ this In the meantime if you aren’t letting the cat out, get a cat flap. Why is she so destructive? Does she have toys? Interaction? I’ve had cats, never had an issue.

Just shut her out of your room at night?

Cats do wreck your house, mine has wrecked the carpets 🤷‍♀️

Coir door mat?
I have that too!
An absolutely enormous one before my wood floor starts!
🤦🏻‍♀️

If you get rid of her thenplease never get another pet they will all be an inconvenience to you
I’ve had rabbits, mice, fish, budgies, chickens and dogs.
All fine.
Before this cat both me and DH had cats aswell.
But don’t worry, she’s convinced me and DH to never, ever buy another cat!

In the meantime if you aren’t letting the cat out, get a cat flap. Why is she so destructive?
I do let her out, she is out a lot of the day.
I don’t want a cat flap for security reasons, not wanting a hole in my door and don’t want to risk mice and other critters being brought in.

Does she have toys?
Yes

Interaction?
And yes.

I’ve had cats, never had an issue
I wish I could say the same.

Oh just seen you've not got a cat flap, I reckon that's the problem, my cat drove me mad before we had the cat flap fitted.

Also keep her shut out of your bedroom at night, is there somewhere warm she could sleep outside? A garage or shed?

The getting you up at night sounds like boredom and also that she wants to be outside exploring.

@MrsJunglelow

Coir door mat? I have that too! An absolutely enormous one before my wood floor starts! 🤦🏻‍♀️

If you get rid of her thenplease never get another pet they will all be an inconvenience to you
I’ve had rabbits, mice, fish, budgies, chickens and dogs.
All fine.
Before this cat both me and DH had cats aswell.
But don’t worry, she’s convinced me and DH to never, ever buy another cat!

In the meantime if you aren’t letting the cat out, get a cat flap. Why is she so destructive?
I do let her out, she is out a lot of the day.
I don’t want a cat flap for security reasons, not wanting a hole in my door and don’t want to risk mice and other critters being brought in.

Does she have toys?
Yes

Interaction?
And yes.

I’ve had cats, never had an issue
I wish I could say the same.

Oh jeez .. sounds like a nightmare . Some cats need lots of stimulation just like some dogs . I know you said you don’t want to but honestly if your back door is pvcu then you can get a microchip cat flap put in then you can shut the kitchen door at night so she can come and go as she pleases ,I bet that would help immensely. Also when you move in the future ( if you do) you can get a replacement door panel put in so no hole. If you really don’t want to then I’d suggest rehoming as she’ll be happier somewhere she can go out whenever she wants .

Our cats kept waking us and scratching too. We got one of those micro chip cat flaps ( went through wall, not door) and set it so that when they go out after their dinner they can’t get back on till we let them in for breakfast. We also brought them an insulated kitty cat for the garden with a nice cosy blanket in. This also has a microchip flap on so only they can access it and it’s completely secure for them. They get very toasty in there with the two of them. They sometimes chose to sleep in there in the day too, but usually the house in the day. The good thing about a micro chip flap is that although girl cat brings us tributes ( mostly mice, once a squirrel) she can’t drag them in to the house and when we let her in for breakfast she ignores them in favour of food so we can dispose of them.

Depending on where you live couldn't you just let her out at night. Cats are quite nocturnal at like to be active at night.
Our cat was nearly always put out at night, unless it was particularly cold , we had a nice water proof kennel for him, with lots of straw to shelter in if it was wet, and we let him in for breakfast and so he could sleep by the fire for much of the day.
This was in a rural area with not much traffic

Clipping the very sharp points off the tip of her claws every week or so will help a little. We had a custom built wrought iron floor to ceiling gate made at considerable cost for the top of our stairs to keep everyone on the ground floor. We do have 16 cats and 3 dogs though so we'd got to a point where our sleep was terribly disturbed by them all. There were a few top of the stairs tantrums for a while from various pets, but they're used to it now and don't even try to go upstairs anymore..