To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

Of course it’s fine. You know your daughter. Don’t seek validation here! No biggie. Move on. X

I wouldn't but some kids are brave enough and sensible enough to be left for that length of time.

She was isolating and if you genuinely didn't have a plan B what can you do?

Just be careful the school doesn't find out or they may report you.

No harm done... forget all about it x

Depends on the child - don’t think it’s a big deal. We’ve certainly left our 8 yr old home alone while dropping off big sis at ballet - her choice- amazingly the world didn’t end.

I have been doing exactly that with my 7.5 year old for the past 10 days. He’s been absolutely fine.

@CarinaMarina

You did what you had to do in extraordinary circumstances, and it all worked out fine. Now you're beating yourself up because you're a conscientious mother and you know that in normal circumstances you wouldn't have done that.

Stop, take a breath and draw a line under it. She's OK, everyone's OK. Don't be judged by MN!

This

Very brave of your 7 year old! My son who is nearly 7 would be terrified if I were to leave him alone .. even though we live in an apartment with 24 hours concierge . It’s obviously not ideal to leave a child under 12 (there is no legal age but NSPCC say under 12 ) to leave alone. Glad it was all done . Next time, no matter what plan beforehand with another trusted member .

You’ll always get slated on here op no matter what you do. So many times I’ve read on Mumsnet about parents having to leave their children in the holidays to go to work and that’s always fine, sometimes for days/weeks at a time ( not criticising - lots don’t have a choice) but you leave your, more than happy, 7 year old for 15 mins, in a locked house with the ability to contact you if necessary and you’re the worst mum ever!
YANBU - I can’t see what else you could have done to be honest. And she was absolutely fine. Don’t worry about it

I wouldn't do it but it was 15 minutes... Next time plan better/call the school, they would have made an arrangement in the circumstances.

Something to bear in mind, what would have happened should you have been in an accident or stuck in traffic on the way back. Did she know how to contact someone else if you hadn’t returned in 15 minutes. Yabu.

I would have done the same.

Some definite overreactions here, you balanced up the options and took a risk of the best/safest option

You are questioning it because you know the answer. Nobody is perfect and if it was a last minute decision put under pressure don't beat yourself up... but don't repeat.

Seems an odd position to be in...
have you 5 kids?
if they're all yours and one is a good deal older could do 2 trips - if they're not all yours how does that work with lock down + bubble. Could it have been forseen and alternative things done.

If the school finds out they could possibly raise a safeguarding on you. It is wrong as the child is far too young to be left alone.

If the school finds out they could possibly raise a safeguarding on you. It is wrong as the child is far too young to be left alone.

Ha! I write welfare concerns regularly at school. Trust me a happy confident child left for 15 minutes in front of the tv is far from one of them! At this age dc can leave school without being collected by an adult.

It all depends on your child maturity. I don't mind leaving my 7 year old child alone for short periods. He knows safety issues, knows not to open the door etc. Has access to the phone and our number if needed and is sensible. However I wouldn't leave his 10 year old cousin alone for the same period because he is less mature not as safety aware and would see it as "Too exiting" and would try to get up to no good. So it all depends on whether you trust said child. I know my son is.mature enough and been a disabled adult technically if I was to take I'll he'd be considered home alone and have to deal with it anyway. Which he has done. He can ring emergency services, make himself a snack etc and knows what he is and isn't allowed to do. When I have had a siezure at home he has rang an ambulance and his dad and stayed calm. Even down to finding a prescription print out if my medicines for the paramedic. So those who are saying no really should consider that not all children are at the same level.

Baffled by some of the negative comments on this, granted my child is much younger so I don’t really know yet but I’d have thought if your child is responsible this is fine under the circumstances. You know your child! It probably builds her confidence and sense of responsibility to know that you trust her.

dont beat yourself up, 15 minutes is no time at all and like you said, she was comfortable and even excited! kids can pick up on anxiety and internalise it, you did fine for a one off. she's happy, healthy and no worse off, like nspcc said, may help her independence!

parenting is hard, youre doing great.

It's really important for children to have age-appropriate independence. I'm from a different culture and honestly, MN is sometimes like another planet for me. 7 year olds far too young to be left for 15 minutes, teenagers far too young to be left for a couple of hours. I even saw a post where the poster was told to get a babysitter for a 16-year old.

Are those children even expected to become adults, and if so, when? Overnight when they're 18? Or will you keep sending their CVs as well, and calling their boss demanding your baby is promoted?

My dd1 is 11, doesn’t walk to school alone nor does she play out alone, I don’t understand these comments

You did what you had to in the circumstances. We are living in strange times and sometimes we have to make a decision that isn’t ideal, but it’s the best thing to do at the time. Please don’t take some of these comments to heart, as a mother and grandmother I often wonder how today’s Mum’s think we survived when everything is so nanny state now. As a previous poster said, don’t beat yourself up over it, be kind to yourself.

I don’t understand why our culture (in England) treats children as if they are completely incapable of anything. There are cultures around the world where younger children have to do all sorts independently, never mind just staying at home for 15 minutes.

Not the end of the world if you have a responsible child. I've been in this situation with a seven year old, gave my child iPad and kept her on facetime the entire time. 😊

Irresponsible and if reported to social services or school etc a safeguarding referral would be made im afraid.

But you know this!

. It’s not what you can plan for but the unknown - burglars, fires, leaks, accidents.

You got away with it today I certainly wouldn’t chance it again.

www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/in-the-home/home-alone/