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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

718 replies

brewbrewbrew · 18/11/2020 22:09

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

OP posts:
purplebunny2012 · 20/11/2020 17:32

@Sostenueto

No tumble it depends on the LAW!
There is no law regarding age child can be left at home alone
MollyMinniesMum · 20/11/2020 17:33

Not just unreasonable, also illegal

cherrybath · 20/11/2020 17:35

You absolutely should not have done this. As has been said you could have walked to school and back if the total collection time by car was 15 minutes.
Families have lost custody of children over this sort of behaviour.

starlight13 · 20/11/2020 17:36

I know its tricky op but yes, this is not good. I only just started letting my boys stay home alone when they started secondary school (both almost 12) as at that time they are going to school/on the bus alone anyway. What I don't understand though- are they all your children that you are collecting? Of not, why are you car sharing and why couldn't the other parents help. I think I would have phoned the school and asked if it is possible to do 2 trips or something.
It is awful to imagine but if you'd all been in a car crash, what about your daughter at home? The police would be involved then.

dizzy125 · 20/11/2020 17:38

Its good that you could trust your daughter for 15 minutes. If it had been an hour that would be different, but it was an emergency scenario and she was absolutely fine. I wouldn't even worry about it.

whittingtonmum · 20/11/2020 17:38

For 15 minutes in front of the iPad is fine imo

purplebunny2012 · 20/11/2020 17:38

@MollyMinniesMum

Not just unreasonable, also illegal
No it's not. There is no law
LoverOfAllThingsPurple · 20/11/2020 17:39

As your child isn’t allowed to leave the house when self isolating and you spoke to her about safety measures and it was less than 30 minutes, YANBU. I’ve had emails from my sons school complaining that they had seen pupils from his year group out in the community (he’s back Monday after self isolating for two weeks). You did the right thing.

EerieSilence · 20/11/2020 17:43

15 or 20 minutes is absolutely OK at that age.
We leave our almost 11 year old now to go to school and back and at home on her own for over 3 or 4 hours. She has her mobile phone and knows how to turn on and off the alarm, just in case.
I think children of today are way too much cocooned.

Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 20/11/2020 17:43

There's no age set in law so that a court can assess it case by case. I think it extremely unlikely that a court would think leaving an under 12 year old was acceptable. Above that age, it will depend on the child and the situation.

Mba1974 · 20/11/2020 17:44

You really are brave for asking that question here where apparently children can’t be more than a foot away from their parents until they’re 25!!! You know your child, you can decide and quite frankly I’d be more worried about a child with such separation anxiety that 15 minutes alone was enough to induce panic. You did nothing wrong, you parent your way and ignore the ridiculous hysterics on here... Some of these poor children will be clinging to the apron strings at 18 and starting life a mile behind your sensible, confident independent young adult!

Superstar22 · 20/11/2020 17:45

Absolutely fine, totally depends on the child, I would and have done exactly the same with a 7.5 yr old. I expect them to have a key around age 10/11 and be walking to school (live in busy city)

CremeEggThief · 20/11/2020 17:47

If you read the whole thread, you will come across several hysterical, and/or spiteful and unhelpful comments from helicopter parents, Feministicon. In my opinion, there is a massive problem with this issue in British parenting and parents like this are going to damage their children much, much more than most of our parents did with us.

Anyway, I'm off now, as I cannot stomach reading any more judgy comments from any more so-called perfect parents, who only want to berate the OP, and not explain what they would have done in her circumstances.

Feministicon · 20/11/2020 17:48

@CremeEggThief

If you read the whole thread, you will come across several hysterical, and/or spiteful and unhelpful comments from helicopter parents, Feministicon. In my opinion, there is a massive problem with this issue in British parenting and parents like this are going to damage their children much, much more than most of our parents did with us.

Anyway, I'm off now, as I cannot stomach reading any more judgy comments from any more so-called perfect parents, who only want to berate the OP, and not explain what they would have done in her circumstances.

I don’t think I want to read it if it’s full of that 😂
sunshinesky · 20/11/2020 17:48

No way would I leave a 7 year old alone.

Surely someone else (another parent) would have given one of the children a lift home / walked with them?
But it’s done now, no point beating yourself up about it.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 20/11/2020 17:50

MollyMinniesMum

Not just unreasonable, also illegal

Do you normally post bullshit information that is completely incorrect Hmm

DontCryForMeNextdoorNeighbour · 20/11/2020 17:55

Unbelievably negligent OP. Can't believe you did that. Yes she's fine as you're posting about something you've already done. But when you left her, you didn't know she would be fine. Truly shameful.

becauseIcare · 20/11/2020 17:55

YABU
No more to add

Skyelils · 20/11/2020 17:58

Anything could have happened in that 15 mins. I think you need do a reality check as this was not a wise decision

EmpressoftheMundane · 20/11/2020 17:58

It’s not great, but it was only 15 minutes and you know your daughter.

We are in exceptional circumstances.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 20/11/2020 17:58

I haven't read the whole thread because the first few replies were absolutely nuts. You are not allowed to walk her to school if she's isolating. You did the most reasonable thing in the circumstances but I can understand your feelings.
I know it was another age but at the age of 7 I went to school on a bus by myself. Your girl was fine and I can't imagine you'll be doing it on a regular basis.

muddymommy · 20/11/2020 18:00

You do not leave a 7.5 year old alone. Under any but the most extreme circumstances. Life or death.

Hells74 · 20/11/2020 18:02

WTF were you thinking!!! Irresponsible and very selfish!!

Wotsitone · 20/11/2020 18:02

I wouldn’t have done it with mine. She is 8 and too scared to go to the toilet by herself sometimes!!! However when I was young I could pretty much go where I wanted at 8 years old. She is fine though so don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t do it again though!

muddymommy · 20/11/2020 18:02

And after reading the responses I have to ask you why you are even asking the question? You felt it was fine so why do you need to justify it?

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