To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

I was gone about 15 minutes in total.Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close)

I think a more concerning issue (without knowing all about the location) is that the older children needed to be collected by car and couldn't walk. It clearly was walkable for the OP.

Wow, there are a lot of frankly ludicrous posts on here.

It was 15 minutes.
The child is 7.5.

SS deal with actual real cases of neglect and abuse on a daily basis and would want to scream if people called them about this kind of crap.

Clearly there are plenty of MNetters whose lives just run according to some preset plan at all times. Good for you.

Don't worry OP. Seriously.

YABU of course and negligent . You always have options.

Scrouge don't you know that all Mumsnetters have houses that immediately spontaneously combust the second anybody under the age of 18 is left there alone?

I have a 7-year old. We live in a quiet cul-de-sac, local fire brigade around the corner, DC know all the neighbours and would have no issues running to get someone if there were any problems they couldn't handle. My 7-yo would never try to cook anything or handle power tools or dangerous chemicals. Yes, I d think leaving him sitting on the sofa is low risk and certainly lower than driving with him on the motorway.

@Cheeeeislifenow it's not quite a bad a comment as the comments made about neglect for leaving a 7 year old for 15 minutes. 7-year old can't be left alone for that length of time that is something surely not quite right. A child at age should be confident and brimming to go out. Why should a child of 7 be so fearful of their own company and the unknown horrors of being alone. They have either had their head filled with fear mongering tales or not given the space to problem solve themselves out of danger. Neither of which is particularly healthy.

Obv not ideal but it was 15 mins out of 24 hours! She was fine .Parents are just people at the end of the day! We dont all have tribes of friends/Rellies on hand to help out!

Mumsnet often just likes to give someone a kicking from a high moral ground.

A 7 and a half year old at home along in front of the telly for 15 minutes - no problem! Every mother knows their own child and I have definitely have left DD (similar) age at home for a similar time. House and DD intact. In fact, it may help build up resilience.

BTW the best (worst!) MN kicking was someone asking if their were BU when it was their BF's birthday and she was too knackered for sex. He was not happy and OP was informed by one of the first posters that he was certainly entitled to nookie. After that I have noticed shades of the OP being wrong at all times on all threads. When the OP is so obviously NBU, then "there must be a back story" pops up. Some people just can't bring themselves to say "no worries - what you did was fine".

NTFT but completely agree with @MoiJeJous

"YANBU OP. You know your child. The only mistake you made was coming on here to ask. Ignore the judgemental comments."

Don't beat yourself up. No harm done.

I think it's fine if you were only gone for 30-40 minutes or so and will probably be good for her independance. As long as yoy've spoken to her about what to do in an emergency I don't see the problem.

You know her. If you think she'll be ok I'm sure it's fine.

No tumble it depends on the LAW!

Show us the law that refers to this then pls @Sostenueto because we know you're talking shit as its been covered so many times if you bothered to read the thread

@Yogatomorrow I remember that one. Birthday sex is an entitlement! That poster was nuts imo.

Anyway detailing sorry.
YANBU OP unless your 7.5 year old has some special needs which preclude them being alone for 15 minutes.

@GoldfishParade your reading skills clearly abandoned you after page one, but yes there is SN which I further clarified.

But fear not I have managed to raise one of my children to be a fully functioning member of society who is a young adult with no issues. She was though lucky not to have her sisters difficulties.

So I hold out hope that my youngest will muddle though her boarding on neglectful childhood in a similar fashion. Did that comment make you feel good about yourself?

*1. What do you think might happen that an average 7 year old could not cope with?

1. Where is the evidence of the risk in terms of reported accidents, incidents etc that you are basing your decision on*

Exactly. OP had to risk assess one child alone at home for 15 mins with the iPad versus driving 5 kids in a car that was only safe to transport 4 kids. There are hundreds of studies showing how dangerous it is for kids to be unsecured in a car crash, even at low speeds. And tons of studies show that most car accidents happen close to home. She chose by far the safest option. I had no other options for childcare when my kids were small and would have done the same.

This thread is hilarious. I've left my 6 year old a few times to take the younger one to nursery. She didn't want to go out (11 minute round trip) so I left her on the couch. When I got back she complained that I'd been too fast and she'd only had one episode of Doc Mcstuffins.

Obviously it depends on the child but if they are happy to stay alone and aren't going to put the deep fat fryer on then it's going to be fine.

In fact the second time I left her when I got back a police woman had come to the door on a routine enquiry, she had shouted through the window that "mummy has gone out and I don't have a key" (which was not what I told her to say). I spoke to the police officer one minute later and she had no concerns at all that a child had been left alone for a few minutes. So can all the catastrophisers calm down? But it's definitely worth rehearsing what they need to say if someone comes to the door. (I'd told her to say that mummy was in the shower)

My job is pretty much constant risk assessing daily and so I am used to this but I think it is far easier for people to feel they are somehow following societal rules , which in the UK are far more mollycoddling than pretty much rest of world. I have no idea why this is . If you talk to others one on one about stuff like this, the most common reason for not leaving a sensible child for a short length of time is fear of being judged or reported for it. Usually people cannot give a likely risk. The other common answer is that whilst they think their child would be fine, they think it is illegal.
I have just had a look at statistics for children dying/coming to arm daily on our roads versus freak household incidents and there is WAY WAY more risk dragging your children out on unnecessary car journeys but people do not see this. Unless you have a totally out of control child, if they are of an age that you can explain to them where you are going, how to contact you if they are worried and what to do in an emergency, they are far safer at home for short periods.
I have had disputes with a friend over this kind of thing. One time, my then 14 year old DD was meant to be coming home on her own on a train at about 10pm. She has been 6'3 since age of 14 and pretty mouthy with it and is very confident. My friend was so horrified that she drove to the station, collected my daughter and dropped her home to me!! The next conversation she was telling me how she had bought a 6 pack of beer for her 14 year old DS to take to a friends party. For me, her action was far more risky than my action but she could not see that.
We need to stop mollycoddling our children so much. It is much better for them to be trusted with some independence and responsibility. Most kids will rise to this. If you have a very anxious child that does not like to be left, then you are led by them, obviously.

@zogthebiggestdragon same happened to me, but it was a neighbour who waited by my house for me to return; saying 'child' said you'd gone out and left her. I think the shower idea needs to be practiced. Good idea

@GoldfishParade your reading skills clearly abandoned you after page one, but yes there is SN which I further clarified.

But surely if you know that your child's anxiety of being out of your sight is due to her SN and you have another confident NT child who likely would have been totally confident in this situation, you know the example you gave is not typical or relevant to the post as it clearly doesn't apply to the OP's child who was not terrified as most 7 year olds wouldn't. Your way of handling will obviously be different due to your child's needs.

Everybody hysterically calling SS should read what vdbfamily wrote.

@Maybe83
Come off it. You were right in there with a judgey comment for the OP so I'm quite surprised you find it difficult to handle criticism yourself.

You didnt mention your child is SN, but now that you have, it makes your anecdote completely irrelevant to the debate.

It isn't really hilarious though, Zog. All of these children who have been brought up by people who really think and behave like this will be at a massive disadvantage as adults.

Helicopter parenting is as bad as neglect, IMO.

Geez no-one died! She is fine, its yesterdays news people!

@Sostenueto

Where do u live? Just so I can inform social services of child neglect by leaving a vunerable young child home alone?

Come on @Sostenueto you can do better than that

There is still no law on this, but the guidelines state you can only leave a child alone in a house if you believe them to be capable in an emergency.
No way would I leave my 8.5YO

I don’t think it’s neglect but neither is not wanting to leave a child that age alone ‘helicopter parenting’