To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

That was for @Thismustbelove

I think you know this was wrong. There are so many "what ifs". The good news is everything is ok and she is fine. Accept it was not the right thing to do and don't do it again.

So how about if a neighbour knocks for help with their car/bin whatever and they keep you talking for 10/15 mins - do you scream at them "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO ME WHEN MY CHILD IS HOME ALONE???!!!!!!"

Surely as soon as you leave the house and your child isnt being checked on, anything can happen - if you are at the neighbours or on the school run. Unless you are in the house and glued to your child (not literally, that is a whole other thread) anything can happen

Very very irresponsible and I'd imagine social services would take a dim view Of this

If you had the first clue what SS are dealing with on a daily basis you'd not even consider this statement 🙄

YANBU. You did the right thing. It was only 15 minutes. She was safe and knew what to do if she needed you.

@Fouroclockonamarblemorning I kind of meant in your capacity of working in child protection, would you be closing down schools who allow Y3 children to walk home? Obviously you wouldn't choose to allow it. I wouldn't either. I just think most 7 year olds can cope with 15 mins alone. Hell, probably half an hour if they've got enough Youtube to watch.

@helgasmelga

Why wouldn't you just walk to the school?

Because it would take longer to get home to the 7 year old

Almost every single suggestion about what OP could have done instead has been inappropriate or unworkable. Sometimes there is no perfect solution and you just have to do the best you can when the situation arises.

And for the people saying it's short sighted of the OP not to have predicted that one child of 5 might have to self isolate during a pandemic... well yes, I agree with you, but so what if she did predict that? What then? That doesn't magically provide an easy solution.

I predicted that I would come unstuck a fair few times by moving to another continent where I have no family support at all. And wow, what do you know, I have come unstuck a few times and had to make difficult decisions. It's just how it goes sometimes.

It seems that the only workable solutions on here are the classic MN suggestions of either building a time machine and choosing not to have children, or magicking up some willing and able relatives who live close by and are able to provide childcare at a moment's notice.

Wow 😳

My oldest would've been fine at that age so I probably would've done the same as the op.
My youngest isn't that age yet but I can't see her being sensible enough!
Depends on the child surely.

I think YABU. Yes, this is a difficult situation, but surely if the “strange times” argument called for anything here, it was keeping the others off as well, not leaving a 7 year old alone.

Where do u live? Just so I can inform social services of child neglect by leaving a vunerable young child home alone?

No tumble it depends on the LAW!

16
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children ( NSPCC ) says: children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time. children under 16 should not be left alone overnight. babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone.

A 7 year old is not a 'very young child' and 15 minutes is not 'a long period of time'!

@Sostenueto

Where do u live? Just so I can inform social services of child neglect by leaving a vunerable young child home alone?

these type of posts are ridiculous...

No tumble it depends on the LAW!

And there is no law that says you can't leave a 7-year old home alone.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children ( NSPCC ) says: children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time. children under 16 should not be left alone overnight. babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone.

So have a little think about this guidance - was the child left for a long period of time? No! She was left for 15 minutes. Is she a baby or toddler or very young child? No! She's 7 - coming up 8. So you posting that doesn't back up your position at all.

Attitudes like those on this thread are exactly why we're raising a generation of anxious kids. Little to no opportunity to develop resilience, independence, life skills and a sense of achievement. I'm honestly shocked at the overprotective hysteria on here.

So many ridiculous perspectives on here
Actually the only shocking post on here is the PP on page 1 who says her seven year old is terrified when someone is on a different floor to her. THATS verging on neglect, to have brought up a child so ill equipped to handle real life (I'll add a little disclaimer here as undoubtedly there will be some justification of SEN)

@goldfishparade that's a very unkind comment.

All those individuals here stating the risk is to high to leave a child for 15 mins or so
Just curious...

1. What do you think might happen that an average 7 year old could not cope with?
2. Where is the evidence of the risk in terms of reported accidents, incidents etc that you are basing your decision on
3. Do you do anything proactively to prepare your kids for emergencies like this below a certain age...or at what age would you start to prepare your kids?

One day many of these posters will be so hung up on "the law" that actually they'll tie themselves in knots and make the wrong decision.

I had an injured child ready to drive him to hospital. A passing neighbour offered a lift. I accepted.
I remain absolutely certain that it was far safer for both of us, to keep DC calm in my arms, be driven by a calm driver, than for DC to stress out in a carseat and a stressed out me driving. And then the delay as I tried to find a parking space.

Sometimes people need to make a call on what's the best decision they can make in the situation they are in.

@TryingnottobeWaynettaSlob

YABU. What if there had been a fire? I dont think a 6 year old should be left home alone.

We have plenty of evidence of children as young as 4 ringing 999 as their carer has become ill....children are capable of making some very good decisions if you teach them how to do this from an early age and get them to think for themselves. Provided you teach a child to leave a house immediately if there is a fire, why do you think they can’t do that? My kids knew a fire drill at an early age - they need to get out the house even if you’re in- you could be unconscious. They are perfectly capable- at that age they’ve been doing this for 2-3 years at school during fire practice. Do this at home too. Also, how many houses spontaneously combust? Sensible people ensure that they turn off devices at risk from overheating when not in use, and put out live flame devices when they leave a room, don’t overload sockets, and don’t have matches.lighters just lying around with children whether in or out of the house It’s about teaching young children to think and about making risk assessments and mitigation.

Ok, sorry rereading...not saying houses don’t spontaneously combust...but it is much less common than cigarettes left around, cooking accidents, tumble drier fires etc...these things you can avoid