To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

Have not been on one of these type threads for a while but each time I am stuck by people's lack of ability to do a risk assessment of a situation based on true facts. If you did a comparison of how likely a child is to die or come to serious harm on a car journey or left at home on a sofa watching TV, the answer is not going to be the sofa. Providing you have not left a smoking cigarette beside the child or a pan of fat on the cooker etc, there is a miniscule chance they will come to harm in 15 minutes. The reason people still refer to Maddie is because it is such a rare occurrence the chance of it happening to you is negligible but daily you read about tragic car accidents where children are killed. I don't know why people find this so hard to fathom. In most situations there is more danger taking your kids in car with you.

It’s not just about physical harm though. It’s about being left alone as a 7 year old and feeling scared.

I’m so surprised at the responses. I regularly leave my 7 yr old for 10-15 mins plugged into minecraft.

My 7 year old would be totally fine with this, eyes would not no r from tv.

@Runningdownthathill

It’s not just about physical harm though. It’s about being left alone as a 7 year old and feeling scared.

i never felt scared coming and going to school alone from age 5. because it was normal. and everyone did it. that's my point.

Surely it's impossible to get through childhood without emotional damage?

I left my 7.5 year old today for 15 minutes too. I went to collect her sister from her friends and she begged me to let her stay as she'd just got comfy on the sofa - so she certainly wasn't terrified seeing it was her request. I'm sure if OP's child was terrified she'd not have left her. There is a huge range of capabilities, independence and confidence levels in 7/nearly 8 year olds. As with OP I told her to call if any issues at all. I sent her to the toilet and told her not to go in the kitchen or to answer the door and just to stay on the sofa. She knows it all anyway as I frequently have the 'what to do if' chat with my older dd. Also several neighbours on the street who would instantly help if needed. She also had guard puppy who has a remarkably loud bark for a creature smaller than a cat as company. Neither had moved when we returned.

I wouldn’t have any issue leaving my eldest alone for twenty mins nor would DC1 be alarmed. I am surprised so many people have two phones.. I only have one personal ph.

Do all your 7 year olds use your work mobiles? Have their own phones? Or do you all have house phones?

Do all your 7 year olds use your work mobiles? Have their own phones? Or do you all have house phones?

There is actually a spare mobile in the house with what's app that was used for eco to contact the dc when there was a non harassment order. Dd uses it often as a tablet but we have Alexa who you ask to call my phone and it will ring me on loud speaker

What age are the children you were collecting? Couldn't they walk home themselves?

Mines just turned 7. I have left him before, max 15 mins while I go the shop. Absolutely no issue, he has a phone to ring me if any issues, and knows under no circumstance to open the door to anybody or look through the window if someone knocks

@Thismustbelove

I wouldn’t have any issue leaving my eldest alone for twenty mins nor would DC1 be alarmed. I am surprised so many people have two phones.. I only have one personal ph.

Do all your 7 year olds use your work mobiles? Have their own phones? Or do you all have house phones?

Mine has had a phone of some sort since 5 I think, kid's watch phone to begin with and a normal phone since she was 7 (normal procedure where I live to give a phone when they start 1st grade). Has definitely come in useful, wouldn't leave her home alone without a phone.

@Sockmonster23 How old is child? Sometimes they repeat things, sometimes they say things for a reaction and sometimes they are trying to work out why mummy/daddy not together anymore. I would take it serious especially if daddy the type of man to be spiteful/controlling/abusive in nature at all. Same European country where it’s normal but I wouldn’t do it here. Also my 7 year old would climb the cupboards looking for sweets, I’m not yet at the stage I could trust her totally.

If you mean me, she hasn't repeated anything and dad and I are together. He's not spiteful or controlling at all, he's my husband.

I didn't leave my dc when they were 7 (in fact my youngest is 8 but hasn't yet been left alone) but I wouldn't say it was wrong or irresponsible. Only you know your dc well enough to know whether they'd cope with it or not. I also wouldn't leave myself wide open to judgement from a load of people who don't know you but are more than happy to berate you.

I think people have a very poor perception of relative risk.

We hundreds, thousands, of risks every day, but we are so desensitised to them that we no longer even see them. And people go bonkers about the risk associated with anything in the least out of the ordinary.

Your other children were at risk from harm being driven home from school in a car. Probably more at risk than usual, given it was a car you were unfamiliar with and you were in a stressful situation. And probably more at risk of harm than your sensible 7 year old curled up on the sofa with clear instructions not to move. But we don't think twice about the risk as we hop into our cars every day, do we? Nor should we (within reason), because life is inherently risky, and to think about every risk would leave us paralysed in fear.

OP, I think what you did sounds like a perfectly reasonable decision to have made in the circumstances you were in. I would do the same.

Just seen vdbfamily has made the same point as me!

I would and have done this many times. My d
cs are adults now and absolutely fine

I suppose the risk here, if the car journey is more risky is that something happens - ie an accident while dc is home alone. In my case it's not that unlikely I suppose - busy area of a city and I popped out at rush hour but as I said dd knows she could go to any one of many neighbours if she felt uncomfortable or couldn't reach me by phone.

I wouldn't but it's a one off and it reads that you are far more upset than your dc was!
Draw a line under it and stop worrying op.
Tomorrow is a new day.

YABU. What if there had been a fire? I dont think a 6 year old should be left home alone.

Very very irresponsible and I'd imagine social services would take a dim view Of this

Yabu but a hard situation. A mum who I don't know at ds school had a similar situation and school reached out to parents with children in same bubble as siblings to help transfer so no one is home alone.

Why wouldn't you just walk to the school?

Sorry!

You are awesome 🤩

Having lived in an international community, the English were some of the most conservative regarding childhood freedoms. I was widely seen to be very limiting of my kids freedoms.
Yes, aged 7 I would leave my child at home briefly if they were happy.
We are now back in the UK and covid has resulted in my now 9 year old walking back from school to an occupied house.
Aged 10 my oldest was sometimes happy to be left alone, sometimes he asked to come with us. Aged 11 he is happily catching the bus to and from school.

For those quoting the NSPCC guidelines, can you please make sure you dont cut off the advice mid sentence. They advice not leaving under 12s for long periods.

brewbrewbrew if your daughter was comfortable with being left, I think you made a reasonable call given the double whammy of isolating plus smaller car.