To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

@Fouroclockonamarblemorning again, I asked about your comment. She would not initially be arrested by police. if you worked in child protection you would surely know that. Don't make stuff up to prove your point cos you think other people on here are too dum to realise

You sound very sensible, like your daughter. In a perfect world everything is perfect. IRL, stuff happens. In some emergencies, even a toddler calmly does the right thing when "mummy has fallen on the floor and won't wake up". Little people sooner or later learn to feed themselves and then proudly to be responsible for holding one of the items of shopping, and so on. Every little bit of learning will have to come as the time is right. Have you seen the Yorkshire farm family, where three year old Emmy assists a sheep to give birth?

@Jobsharenightmare

helloitsme4432

Does she want her view on that made public? All you've said is she finds this funny. If her comments make it to Twitter or the DM I wouldn't stand by finding it all so ridiculous

You're right I shouldn't have exposed her identity thank you, removed now

if children are constantly overlooked they will never develop resilience.
why is it still ok, indeed expected for children aged from 6 to go to school by themselves in other advanced countries, eg switzerland, and most of europe.
why is it so different here. why have we decided our children are so much less reliable and sensible. or have we made them so.
it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
nothing to worry about OP. was a totally reasonable thing to do.

Depending on the age of the other children, could they have walked home, taken a bus or a taxi together?
Our school wouldn't release kids aged 9 and under unless to a parent or other approved guardian. I guess you could ask Jamie's Mom to collect them all, walk them to the gate and them leave them to walk home but surely they're more at risk than the 7 to? And none of the tacos here would take 4 kids that age on their own.

why is it still ok, indeed expected for children aged from 6 to go to school by themselves in other advanced countries, eg switzerland, and most of europe.

I wouldn’t hold Switzerland’s encouragement of childhood resilience in esteem without factoring in the issues that arise as a result. Bullying is rife in Switzerland made more so by the belief that their so called independence actively encourages it.
I’d prefer to know my children felt secure and reassured going to school than fool myself that they were independent while getting kicked on the ground during their ‘resilience journey’.

Tough situation and you had no choice really. Others would have done the same

Utterly unreasonable. There were plenty of work around such as the dad not working that day taking an emergency day half leave. I would never have left a 7 year old.

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread ( I mean 19 pages) but I dont think its a case of BU or not.
In a perfect world it would be fine to do, but sadly we don't live in a perfect world and if the worst had happened you would never forgive yourself. Ppl dont see the 99.9% of the time when its ok but the 0.1% when things go wrong.
No judgements from me. you were stuck in a very difficult situation.

@helloitsme4432 how did you expose my identity?

I think if my identity has been exposed while I've been busy doing other things and not noticed then the thread should be taken down. I didn't see what was said but that's unfair. Was it my name or address ect?

@Pollynextdoor

YANBU I left mine from they were 5 for 15 mins or so. Depends on the child.

Wow 😮

You did what you needed to do in that situation. You know your daughter and obviously felt she was sensible enough to be trusted for a short period. Don't worry - it's not like you leave her alone every Friday night to go out clubbing. Don't beat yourself up.

I was literally a latch key kid at that age, having to walk home by myself and rattle around until one of my older siblings got in from senior school. In this day and age I wouldn't have even been let out the classroom.

@brewbrewbrew it wasn't your identity. They quoted the head of safeguarding in a UK city without their permission.

Oh ok, thanks exclamation perfume.

You did what you had to do in the circumstances, I wouldn't feel bad about it.

I thought I would never have left my daughter around the same age alone but one day she was home from school and I had to collect my son. She begged me to leave her at home as she felt ill. I didn't like doing it but it was fine.
I told her to stay on the sofa and not move. She had the iPad and the TV on. Not to answer the door and if she got scared to go into the bathroom and wait for me to come home.

I was about 15 mins (2-3 mins to get there, 5-10 mins to wait, then 2-3 mins home), the house didn't burn down, she didn't choke, all was well.

@brewbrewbrew

Are there genuinely 2 seperate parents here worried about choking on biscuits?

It's not unreasonable to worry about it depending on the child's age but the OPs child is old enough to be sensible, if they weren't then the OP wouldn't have left them if they had any choice

All these paragons of virtue going on about wonderful parenting are living in cloud cuckoo land. We're not living in normal times and things are difficult as a parent when they wouldn't be as normal.

People are having to get by in some circumstances and we can all only do our best which is precisely what the OP did.

@FudgeDrudge

This is negligent of you. If something had gone wrong, you’d have been arrested for neglect.

Nonsense.

I know OP was only away for 15 mins, but I thought people had become more cautious post Madeleine McCann

I am surprised so many people think it's ok to leave a 7 year old at home alone. No way would I do that

Where was the OP's husband? Could he have worked from home?

Or take a taxi?

Or bus?

If all else failed, I would have kept other kids off school for the day. Not great, but safe

When I was 6 (in the mid 80s) I was allowed to play on the housing estate where I lived (detached 70s houses in a large village, rather than an inner city council estate type thing, for context). I could go and call for friends who lived elsewhere on the estate or just ride my bike or roller skates. When I was 7 I was allowed to leave the estate on my own to call on friends who lived on a nearby road.

I suspect this wouldn’t happen now but at the same time i don’t think my parents were neglectful or that I was in any danger. They didn’t leave me or my sister home alone until we were much older but I’m just wondering why it is now seen as such an outrage to leave a sensible 7 year old for a short period at home? Do you all think my parents were outrageous and should have been reported to social services? Genuinely curious.

I think you had good, sensible parents who encouraged incremental independence from an earlier age, Girasol, but a lot of the more, erm, "cautious", perfect parents on this thread would probably disagree with my opinion.

Do you all think my parents were outrageous and should have been reported to social services? Genuinely curious.

You aren’t comparing like with like.

The adage that it takes a village to raise a child is long gone in most locations.

Neighbours don’t know each other. The Internet brought with it huge problems. Porn is at everyone’s fingertips which increases risks to children. Social media can be extremely dangerous.

Of course there have been improvements too. Our parenting has progressed to respect children. In the 1970s elders were given respect whether they deserved it or not. Smacking children was accepted practice. Child abuse was very present but hidden.

Further increased dangers include busier roads, faster cars etc etc

Fifty years ago was a very different time. There were dangers but we weren’t as aware of them which wasn’t good either.

How old is child? Sometimes they repeat things, sometimes they say things for a reaction and sometimes they are trying to work out why mummy/daddy not together anymore. I would take it serious especially if daddy the type of man to be spiteful/controlling/abusive in nature at all

Same European country where it’s normal but I wouldn’t do it here. Also my 7 year old would climb the cupboards looking for sweets, I’m not yet at the stage I could trust her totally.

@Thismustbelove

But to add to that homes are safer, no flammable sofas, no chip pans, less cigs left smouldering, fire alarms, more stringent electrical safety, childproof bottle caps, five point doors locks etc etc.

In terms of dangers from strangers it is the same, possibly safer as we are more aware.

Caplin I was replying to girasol whose examples were all outside of the home.

Or take a taxi?
Or bus?
With her isolating child?