To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

Jezus all these over the top reactions here. Some people have extremely needy kids on MN. Being TERRIFIED at 7/8 being left for 15 minutes 🤔😅 seriously 😆...

We all grew up in the 80s 70s and 60s and our parents would have left us for way longer at way younger. We all survived right.. haha

I know.... its ridiculous.. it was for a whole 20 too 🙄

Sorry 15 minutes 🤣

Wings
What sort of emergency are you envisaging?

I'd think if something was to suddenly burst into flames a 7 yo would most likely get a fright and run.

Mumsnet at its finest.🙄🙄🙄

This thread is a good example of what a love/hate relationship I have with this site these days.

@brewbrewbrew

I set clear boundaries before hand. Pulled down our roller Blind in the lounge and said not to pull it up so nobody knew she was alone. (Wasn't thinking of police, was more thinking of if somebody was knocking at the door).

We live in a safe cul de sac but neighbors are elderly so it felt irresponsible to approach them about a child isolating.

We have a ring doorbell and Alexa so I could see she was still inside the house and we could "drop in" on each other to check. And obviously I can speak to anybody that knocks on the door wherever I am.

I had been homeschooling her all day so she was excited when I said all I wanted her to do was curl up on the sofa with her iPad.

I had a nearly 2 year old to take with me on the school run and the others are aged up to 9.

This week has been such an impossible juggle.
I'm not by any means defending myself. Just this was my thought process, it's one of those days where you just feel like you've completely fucked up.

Honestly op i don't know what else you could do. You shouldn't be walking her to school because she could be infectious and o assume if you're collecting 3 other kids you're hanging around a bit. You can't put her in the boot. You can't make the 3 kids walk home alone. Asking a friend to drop 1 kid off is likely fine but 3 is a big ask for anyone. You will not be the only person making these choices

I think she was too young.

15 mins is not a long time but anything could have happened in that time.

She needs warning about stranger-danger (answering the door), dealing with fire, accidents in the home, etc.

She's too young, basically.

The odds of something happening are tiny BUT not impossible and if they had you would have been prosecuted.

You have 6 children?

@Yeahnahmum

Jezus all these over the top reactions here. Some people have extremely needy kids on MN. Being TERRIFIED at 7/8 being left for 15 minutes 🤔😅 seriously 😆...

We all grew up in the 80s 70s and 60s and our parents would have left us for way longer at way younger. We all survived right.. haha

If you can't provide a valid reason for it being acceptable, either now or back years ago, then your post has no validity.

'We did it and were fine' is a dangerous argument often used to minimise behaviour that really is not ok. The added humour doesn't make up for a lack of any reasoning either, it can be a bit of a screen, depending on your audience, but lost of people will see through.

'We drove at 100 miles an hour last Tuesday and were fine so it's ok to do it again' - makes no sense, does it?

This thread is ridiculous. I’d trust a 7 year old to be on their own for a few minutes. The likelihood of some big emergency is rather low if you leave them with a drink and a snack in front of the TV and they know not to start ironing.

Had the police been notified they would of forced entry and you’d have a referral to Social Services

People don't half talk a load of crap on here. The child is 7, there is no age written into law, just that it's illegal if leaving them puts them at risk, and recommends that under 12s shouldn't be left for long periods. OPs child was fine, it's more unusual for a child of that age to be 'terrified' than to be happy enough as evidently OPs child was.

Please never do this again.

What a lot of hysterics. do you never leave your 7 year old alone in a room?

Would you prefer they are injured or killed in an accident compared to being at home?

I'm not sure it was a one or the other choice. You make it sound like all the children will be involved in an accident if they leave the house.

No really not anything could have happened in those 15 minutes. If your house suddenly bursts into flame then the child will leave the house and I personally don’t have pedo’s or axe murderers knocking on my door 24/7. If your child is sensible and happy to be left for short periods of time it’s fine.
I was a latch key kid in the 70s home alone for hours at the age of 7 every day of the week. Society is no less safe now than in the 70s just more hysterical newspaper reporting which makes us think we are less safe.

I agree generally it's too young but what's people's solution? She leave the kids at school until the next day?

It’s happened, don’t worry. You did what you thought best, it was 15 mins not hours!

I would have. 15 mins? God, kids these days are so wrapped in cotton wool. What exactly was going to happen? If she’s a good enough kid, the only press your own worries.

It's fine. 15 mins is nothing. I wouldn't leave them for much longer, but 15 mins is absolutely fine at that age. And like you said, she was fine watching TV and had a way of contacting you.

Like many other posters have said, you had to make a decision based on difficult circumstances. It’s not something you do regularly or for prolonged periods of time. It was a one off, for 15 minutes.

However I think now is the time to talk through what your DC is and isn’t allowed to do, who and how to contact if necessary etc

She is too young, you know this.

Make a better plan for next time you get caught out, it happens to the best of us. Could you not have called a friend and they could have picked up two or three of the kids, and then you could take the rest?

It has happened, but really I don't think it should ever happen again.

I’ve been leaving my kid to pop to local shop since they were 6 and I’m not in the least bit sorry and social services can pop in anytime they want!
I always leave a phone. Good kid. No worries.
Since 8 I’ve been doing things that take up to half an hour. He’s 9 now and I’m still on the half an hour but if I needed to I’d probably push for a bit more. I was a latch key kid at 11 (now 40). My child will be getting a key and a lot more responsibility at about the same age.

Sometimes people actually need to use their own judgement on what is the least risky solution to the current problem they face.

If it was to have landed in a Court, the argument is Op could use her judgement that the child was safe to be left alone or the Op could break the Self isolating laws and walk the child to the school to collect the others.

One option is guidelines the other is the law.

This thread is as nuts as the thread where a mum asked was she ok to take Self Isolating child in the car on the school run. There were people arguing she should keep both children off if she couldn't get one to school without the other leaving the house.

Can I make the point that the issue is not the house will burst into flames - but if op had a car accident, that child would be left at home alone for an extended period as a minimum unable to contact anyone. In this scenario the police would be involved, and this would be seen as a safe guarding issue.
Yesterday I saw a car accident, it was only a minor collusion - but they were waiting for the ambulance to come as one of the passengers had severe whip lash - that was also a school run with kids, they happen all the time. There are many many things that can and do happen that we do not plan for - on a 15 minute car journey. A few weeks ago an elderly man in our village had a serious fall and I had to call an ambulance, stop the bleeding to his head etc.

I'm i missing the point...your daughter is supposed to be self isolating, right? So why are people saying 'walk her to school' that's not her self isolating.
I have had to do the same. Child is self isolating so no-one can sit with them and they are not supposed to go out, single parent, other child needs picking up.
Choice either leave them at home on their own in front of tv for 10 mins. Leave them on their own in a car for 10 mins as my childrens schools dont have car parks and you have to find a space in nearby roads and walk.
Did i feel this wasn't ideal? Absolutely. Did i feel there was an alternative given i would be breaking the rules of self isolation ? No. So all those with their judgy pants on, go away.

@Newdonewhugh IF I were a neighbour of yours I'd have reported you by now.

What a way to behave.

6? You leave a 6 yr old alone?

I don't know how you have the nerve to post this as though it's right.

What happened to you as a child is not a template for your own parenting.

For a few weeks either side of my 8th birthday I was home alone 8.30-12.30 3 days per week as I was ill and my Mum had to go to work. Only a urine infection and then chickenpox. This was 1980, shows how much times have changed!