To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

You shouldn't leave her home alone at that age. Ever.

If you were really only out for 15 minutes then it can't be that far away. You could have walked. You could have rang ahead to the school and explained the situation that you would have your daughter with you and that was the only way.

There's no excuse for leaving her alone. You should have found a way.

biking

If this case was presented in court, a decision would be made on many factors not just the time, the area, access to neighbours, the area where they live, the general condition and wellbeing of the child etc.

The very fact you are discussing what might happen in court shows that this could be seen as a legal issue - and the guidance from the NSPCC is as follows:

'While every child is different, we wouldn't recommend leaving a child under 12 years old home alone'

@TheNortherner

I'm i missing the point...your daughter is supposed to be self isolating, right? So why are people saying 'walk her to school' that's not her self isolating. I have had to do the same. Child is self isolating so no-one can sit with them and they are not supposed to go out, single parent, other child needs picking up. Choice either leave them at home on their own in front of tv for 10 mins. Leave them on their own in a car for 10 mins as my childrens schools dont have car parks and you have to find a space in nearby roads and walk. Did i feel this wasn't ideal? Absolutely. Did i feel there was an alternative given i would be breaking the rules of self isolation ? No. So all those with their judgy pants on, go away.

The obvious answer was for the father to ask for time off work by discussing it with his boss, to cover till the OP got home. OR for a neighbour to maybe stand outside the door to listen out.

However, it's also something the OP should have foreseen and planned for. If she has 6 kids the odds are this was going to happen anyway.

@RandomMess

For a few weeks either side of my 8th birthday I was home alone 8.30-12.30 3 days per week as I was ill and my Mum had to go to work. Only a urine infection and then chickenpox. This was 1980, shows how much times have changed!

No it's not. It's an example of your own negligent parenting. I was a child in the 1950s/ 60s and no one I knew behaved like your parents.

Some absolutely CRAP parenting on display here.

I think it's fine. My mum regularly did similar without alexa. The risks were in my opinion very low.

I was never ever left alone as a child and I have not left my children until they were old enough. I am shocked at the amount of people saying this is fine. It wasn't fine in the 60's, 70's or 80's as much as it isn't fine now.

@VetiverAndLavender

It's not ideal, but a sensible, trustworthy child of that age is probably fine. 99 times in 100, nothing bad will happen, and children spend longer than 15 minutes unsupervised all the time, but of course we'd rather err on the side of caution.

What's done is done. I'd stop thinking about it, since you have your vehicle back and it's not a regular occurrence.

OK... but would you take a 1 in 100 risk that something bad will happen to your kid? When it is so easy to just find a work around?

There are multiple solutions. It just wasn't a risk that needed to be taken. Pointless.

Jeez, come back this morning to see there are still lots of hysterical responses.

Ultimately, you know your child. It is legal and frankly isn’t anyone else’s business. If people wouldn’t leave their little diddums home alone until they are 18 then that is their choice. Everyone manages risk in their own way.

People have yanked their judgypants so high that they have maximum camel toe on show right now.

I have to leave this madness!

By the time I was 8 I was walking home from school without an adult and was a latch key kid. Now, I know times have changed and things like this are far less acceptable now, but I wouldn't have been able to use Alexa to contact either parent on their mobile, since those things didn't exist. In some ways, things are safer now.

Don't beat yourself up OP. She was fine. Some 7 year olds wouldn't be, but she was. However, since you were not comfortable with it, maybe try to find another solution if something like this comes up again.

Dependant entirely on the child. My just turned 7 year old daughter would not have been comfortable being left, she would have been scared and anxious so I would never entertain the idea.

My 8 year old, soon to be 9 would be fine for 30 minutes, probably longer.

I don't think strangers on the internet are best placed to comment on your circumstances and or judge you. You know your child best and you know if leaving her was right or not. Go with your own instinct as well as how your child copes.

There are multiple solutions. It just wasn't a risk that needed to be taken. Pointless.

What's your multiple solutions that work for a child who can't legally leave the house, nor should that child be in contact with other people.
The OP would be breaking the law by taking her out the house.

Not ideal but ok as a one off. I guess the only thing would have been if you'd got delayed and she'd have panicked? I didnt leave my DD until she was 9. Now she's 10 and she loves having the house to herself if we pop out!
I wouldn't do it again though.

@Cleanerdilemma

YABU You shouldn’t leave a 7.5yr old home alone at all.

What was the OP supposed to do?

If I had to leave a child of mine at home alone then I'd have tried out all the alternatives to find a solution first. Sometimes we have no choice but to do the least desirable solution and it sounds like that was what happened with OP. There's no need for a pile on - how does it help OP?

OP if you want helpful suggestions chat is better than AIBU unless you enjoy a bunfight or mass pile on.

I think you made a reasonable decision in difficult circumstances. And it went fine, and she back at school soon anyway. Please don't beat yourself up over this.

@Newdonewhugh IF I were a neighbour of yours I'd have reported you by now.

Haha, no worries. Certain they’re have come in, seen a happy kid, in a happy home and left. I have nothing to be afraid of.

However, it's also something the OP should have foreseen and planned for. If she has 6 kids the odds are this was going to happen anyway

Exactly. As you were thinking of conceiving, you should have thought "what about if there is a global pandemic and I need a larger seater car if 1 has to self isolate". You missed a trick there @brewbrewbrew .

Poor show my friend, poor show

@FatBottomGirl99

You're negligent and it's illegal! I hope you don't do this as if something happened to her you'd never forgive yourself. Most people have found themselves in this situation at one time or another but you find a way, it's illegal for a reason and if you do this I hope you get reported, can't believe you'd ask people their opinions on this! You don't ever leave a child alone, ever

It's not and she's not. You never leave a child alone ever? What even a 12/13/14 year old?

God the kids these days are babied so much it's ridiculous. No wonder there are so many inept adults around.

Don't worry about it OP.

I don't think it was a hugely wise idea but as she was ok, and you left her for 15 minutes only, I'm not sure why you felt the need to post on MN tto a bunch of strangers, when you know most people on here wouldnt agree with what you did

Out of interest is there some kind of record of who has had social services involved with their family and does it cause any stigma later on?

Caplin
Bloggers

Where are you op?

What are your thoughts on some of this madness!?

@DrCoconut you can get a mark against you which would then track incidents, and you may have no idea. This happened to a friend when they got in a drunken fight with their husband and the police were called. The kids were placed on a watch list. But several years later it is clear it was a one off so I presume it has been wiped.

I couldn’t have done that; too risky.

Sorry, OP. Try and find a workaround so it doesn’t happen again. It’s not always easy to find someone to help you out, I understand that, but she’s too young to have been left.

[quote Newdonewhugh]@Newdonewhugh IF I were a neighbour of yours I'd have reported you by now.

Haha, no worries. Certain they’re have come in, seen a happy kid, in a happy home and left. I have nothing to be afraid of.[/quote]
I'm not sure if you are trying to wind posters up or you are genuinely unaware of the law.

You will certainly be worried if your child ends up on the at risk register.

It's not about whether a child is happy.

Surely you don't think that?

It's about what may happen to your child or YOU- you could be in an accident and your child would be alone for much longer.

The NSPCC says that no child should be left alone under the age of 12.

Obviously there is a need for personal judgement as some kids of 10 and 11 are very sensible and can be left for a while.

But I hope this gives you some perspective on how leaving a 6 yr old alone (when you did) was not acceptable.

@CastleOfDoom The child is 6. Not 12/13/14.

Why are you bringing those ages up?