To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

I think it's okay as a one off. I started leaving my child for up to an hour at 8.

You are fine as others have said. I was 5 when my mother pissed off and my poor Dad had to work. He left for work at 07.30 and returned home at 18.00 I was on my own all day. I was and still am fine. Take care and try not to worry! Easier said than done

What’s so unreasonable? It was 15 minutes, you gave her the ability to call you if needed and it’s hard to get into a lot of trouble in that time of the instructions are sit still and watch your iPad. Surely it’s the same as I’m popping to the shop for bread stay here? I see 7/8 year olds wandering my village alone out ‘playing’ and I bet they get into more trouble. I think it’s reasonable if there were few options of help.

Could the older ones not have walked themselves home if it’s only a 15min drive?

Not ideal, but I wouldn't beat yourself up about having done it once.

However I wouldn't plan on doing it as a regular solution, which I always think is the risk of doing stuff like this.

Depends on the individual child. Some children are fine others are a liability, your daughter clearly is the former.

I hate to say this in a way because it is currently stopping me leaving my 12 year old at home alone for 15 minutes and I wish I wasn’t worrying about it... but in my area (SW London) I have noticed that burglaries when people are in have increased. Because of lockdown, home intruders are getting more desperate because people are hardly ever out and just trying their luck in the daytime / evening even if people might be inside. We would all be terrified if this happened but the thought of it happening to my 12 year old when we weren’t there is just too much to bear. Just another thing to think about even if they are sensible.

YANBU, she's 7 not a very small child. Child protection charity in my country suggests up to two hours home alone is ok at 7, as far as I know all my DD's friends have stayed at home alone at least occasionally since 7/8 years old.

If anything, it makes even more sense in this day and age with ring doorbells and video calling to check in, even have a grandparent "babysit" over the phone

It's fine. Don't worry about it. You know your child. Some are happy to be left some aren't.

We have to have the courage to give our children bits of independence from a young age gradually, in order to prepare them to be competent adults. They need to be able to make decisions and small mistakes in order to grow as people. There are some risks as there are in all elements of life.

We should try as parents not to pass our own (often irrational) fears on to our children as they grow and gradually become adults. At 16 children are able to live independently. Many will not leave home for many years after that, but we should aim to have them ready and capable of coping with what life will chuck at them by then.

Teach them! How to use the phone, how to make tea, how to hoover, how to wash clothes, how to clean the darn toilet. How to be home alone.

My children are rattling towards adulthood so fast, I feel I am running out of time and they will be gone without the skills and knowledge they need. Start young.

She is a 7 year old child @brewbrewbrew you know that she shouldn't be left home alone. You were lucky this time and nothing happened. Now imagine if something did.

I assuming your car is back today so you don't have to do the same again today?

It's fine. You won't be making a habit of it - unusual situation with varied ways of handling it. I expect the OP is posting in case there is another way to resolve in the future. PP have suggested solutions which may work in this situation in the future. If anyone asks...most likely a teacher they will establish the situation - store a record of the incident and perhaps even be able to offer help.

YANBU. You left her with a way to contact you, it was 15 minutes, that's fine. We have had to leave ours at a similar age, mine is on the screen and knows to call us if there's a problem (so far it's just been a big spider next to the tablet...).

We were often left for 15 mins to an hour home alone at that age, if sick off school and my mum needed to go shopping or even sometimes just to have a cup of tea with a neighbour. Fashions have shifted and now it's seen as appalling neglect. It isn't. It isn't ideal but I wouldn't feel guilty now it's done. Just make better plans another time.

You know your child better than anyone else and if she is usually sensible and knows what she can and cannot do then you are the best person to make a judgement

I remember that I was left alone at home from the age of 6 but then again that was a different era. We had a local shop that my mum would go to for pies at lunchtime and on the weekends I’d be alone for a good half an hour at a time while she went to the shop. No door locked either!

We never came to any harm but I suppose something could have happened. I don’t think people should judge you for what you’ve done, it’s a terrible time and sometimes difficult situations can be tricky to juggle.

YABU for posting it on here as there always going to be people who tell you how dangerous it is but no one on here knows your dd or you. You know your child and if she’s likely to just stay still in front of the tv whilst you pop out for 15 minutes, only you know if she’s capable of calling for help if needed. I think I started leaving dd1 when she was 9, she’s a child that always does as she’s told, knows how to use a phone and would never try and cook whilst I was gone, she would just sit in front of the tv or lie in bed so I knew she would be fine for a shot time (whilst I took her sister to school).

We have been told that if a child is isolating we are not meant to take them in the car to do the school run, it’s crazy because how are single parents meant to manage? And those who’s partners are not WFH?

What a lot of hysterics. do you never leave your 7 year old alone in a room? Would you prefer they are injured or killed in an accident compared to being at home? Have you seriously never talked with them what do do in an emergency (which could be you being incapacitated, or not reachable?)

You're negligent and it's illegal! I hope you don't do this as if something happened to her you'd never forgive yourself. Most people have found themselves in this situation at one time or another but you find a way, it's illegal for a reason and if you do this I hope you get reported, can't believe you'd ask people their opinions on this! You don't ever leave a child alone, ever

It was a one off, it’s hardly like she’s leaving her all day everyday!!

She was fine, you explained what to do in emergencies and it’s clearly not something you will be doing regularly so don’t worry anymore about it

[quote Nina9406]@caplin imagine the reaction if a mum left a kid alone all day to go to work like my mum did when I was little[/quote]
I definitely got left at home while my parents were working from about age 8 - not sure if whole days or part days, but tons longer than 15 minutes.

Some 7.5 year olds would be fine for 15 mins. Others wouldn't. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, you wouldn't have done it if you really felt she was at risk.

@FatBottomGirl99 it isn't illegal at all.

@Autumn101

It was a one off, it’s hardly like she’s leaving her all day everyday!!

She was fine, you explained what to do in emergencies and it’s clearly not something you will be doing regularly so don’t worry anymore about it

She is 7 years old. A 7 year old is not going to have the presence of mind to remember and follow instructions in the midst of an emergency situation. What if that emergency situation meant the bloody Alexa wasn't working or couldn't understand an upset very young child.

Agree it is a one off and nothing happened so don't beat yourself up about it, put in place plans to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Jezus all these over the top reactions here. Some people have extremely needy kids on MN. Being TERRIFIED at 7/8 being left for 15 minutes 🤔😅 seriously 😆...

We all grew up in the 80s 70s and 60s and our parents would have left us for way longer at way younger. We all survived right.. haha