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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

718 replies

brewbrewbrew · 18/11/2020 22:09

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

OP posts:
WanderingMilly · 19/11/2020 03:05

Really, it's fine. It was for a short while, nothing happened and you had no choice. Stop worrying about it, I have done similar several times (mine were small years ago and we thought nothing of stuff like this....and there weren't mobiles then either).
Praise your daughter for being so sensible while you were out.

akerman · 19/11/2020 03:18

I was frequently left alone in the house at the age of 7 for hours. I wouldn’t have left my kids as they are quite nervous. It does depend on the child, I think.

Ringsender2 · 19/11/2020 03:42

@MoiJeJous

YANBU OP. You know your child. The only mistake you made was coming on here to ask. Ignore the judgemental comments.
this

I would be concerned that some parents are setting their kids up to struggle into being independent adults. (BTW I'm not saying "leave them alone at 7 = hairs on their chest", but referring to the general tone of some of the replies.)

Ilovechoc12 · 19/11/2020 03:59

Absolutely NO way.
If you knew in the morning she would of have to be left (no options of anyone to help you) none of the other kids should of gone to school.
Not really acceptable in my view but hey ho it’s done now but I wouldn’t repeat it ! What if you of had a crash ? Or what if there was a crash on the road to delay you ? Or you had a puncture? Yes very unlikely but it still could of happened.
I wouldn’t of been able to leave her.

garlictwist · 19/11/2020 04:46

I think it's fine - it's not for long and she is 7, not a baby. Old enough not to set things on fire etc.

BlackberrySky · 19/11/2020 05:29

I started leaving mine home alone for short periods from age 8. I think it's fine if they know how to call you and you're gone for only a short period.

nannybeach · 19/11/2020 05:47

Sh has a phone to contact you, presumably has been told not to open the door, suppose YOU had been in an accident., if you are worrying about her at home, you are more likely not consentrating.No, I would never do it, seetting kids up not to be independen adults, at 7.!!

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 19/11/2020 06:01

My eldest is 8.5, I’d have left him in that situation. Mine personally, a year ago, would’ve struggled (he’s a bit of a worrier), and I haven’t actually done it yet so don’t know whether he or I will really be as cool with it as I imagine, but I can’t relate to the shocked replies saying you should never have done it.

This is actually my plan A for if he has to self-isolate though. I will still need to find a way to get the toddler to the childminder so I can work, which is also a 15-min round trip (on foot). I’m open to the possibility of it not working and having to change it, but at the same time I’m not worrying and I can’t imagine feeling guilty about it.

I assume your guilt is your brain - knowing your own child - telling you that it’s not something to repeat again just yet. But she was safe, I don’t think 7.5 is shockingly young, I don’t see a problem. YANBU.

ohnothisagain · 19/11/2020 06:04

Perfectly fine. She’s not 4!
the uk babies children much longer than many other countries.
I have a 7 year old who is home alone for up to 30 minutes.

theviewfromhalfwaydown · 19/11/2020 06:09

It’s fine. Maybe it’s an area thing but round my way kids play out together from that age without parents following them around. Mine started playing out from 9 but others were younger. It’s not like you are doing it every day.

KatharinaRosalie · 19/11/2020 06:22

Oh I was waiting for the 'what if you were in an accident!' comments and wasn't disappointed. Surely it's better that the child was not in the same accident then, but sitting on their own sofa instead?

lockeddownandcrazy · 19/11/2020 06:27

It wasnt good - you should have planned better - but you both survived so just move on and forget it

pinkbalconyrailing · 19/11/2020 06:31

totally fine imo.

from the title I thought it was the whole day, which would have been too much, but up to half an hour is fine for a sensible child at that age.

CiderJolly · 19/11/2020 06:38

I think it’s fine- you know your own child. She knew what to do in an emergency. Nothing happened. It was an exceptional circumstance and you did the best you could.

Oly4 · 19/11/2020 06:39

I think it’s fine and was left at this age myself

iftherewereahorseyinthehouse · 19/11/2020 06:52

Have I missed this, where was your husband?

He should have taken time off work to look after her (or do the chill run) as dependent's leave, if that's where he was. Seven is too young to be left.

AlternativePerspective · 19/11/2020 07:03

As usual the hysterical s are out on this thread. Would like to report you/what if there was an accident etc etc etc. Presumably those same people would say it would be unacceptable to leave a child in a car while you fill up with petrol in case of those (almost unheard of) times when the car could blow up thus killing the child....

AlternativePerspective · 19/11/2020 07:04

Posted too soon.

While I wouldn’t have left mine home alone at seven, sometimes we don’t live in an ideal world. Keeping all the kids off school because of a fifteen minute window is beyond ridiculous.

But tbh you shouldn’t have come on here to deliberately set yourself up for judgement.

Rubyupbeat · 19/11/2020 07:12

Considering the amount of break ins that occur on school run times, then no way at all.
7.5 is much to young anyway to be left alone.

myhobbyisouting · 19/11/2020 07:15

Well she seems fine curled up on the sofa. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's done

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 19/11/2020 07:19

You did what you needed to do. She was fine. Don’t worry about it.

Chathamhouserules · 19/11/2020 07:20

Dont worry. It was fine and only 15 mins. I'm sure you wouldn't have done it if she was a very nervous 7 yr old who doesn't like to be on her own.

DiddlySquatty · 19/11/2020 07:21

Not ideal but if she didn’t mind and she knew how and who else to call if you didn’t come back when expected, then I think it was ok as a one off with no other option

2020WTF · 19/11/2020 07:22

I personally wouldn't do it.

DiddlySquatty · 19/11/2020 07:22

Out of interest what would you have done if she’d been in school as normal but you only had a 5 seater car today? 🤔

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