To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

Yes I would, absolutely.

@lovesgood exactly! And then we wonder why some years ago kids were eating tide pods 🤦🏻‍♀️

@ANGELFACEXO me thinks yours going to wake up at 3am with 'the fear' with blurry snippets of tap tappity tapping on your phone with a blurry hazy image of the 'mumsnet' logo and thinking 'shit shit shit' desperately scrolling through on your posts. Take a glass of water to bed and a couple of paracetamol.

From 8 years old children are allowed at play schemes, at the cinema, in the swimming pool etc unsupervised. So from that age I really don't think there could be any issue for very short periods unless some other variables. child has a disability or something. I think 7.5 is on the young side of fine. Honestly I've left my younger child with daddy working from home for other child school run and DH has provided zero parental input whilst I've been gone. DC has just watched a bit of a Disney film on the sofa. Obviously in that case there was an adult in case of an emergency. I wouldn't judge you but can also see why you're relieved she is fine and that you won't need to do it again.

@Wife2b don't be so ridiculous. Are you trying to tell me that all in the space of 15 minutes someone would call you, you would make a trip to the house, see the child, call the police, they would arrive and then force the door down?

Surely some of you must leave your child in the house for 15 minutes while you talk to the neighbour, water your garden, feed your animals etc?

It wasn't hours, it wasn't even one hour, it was 15 minutes.

I don't think you are unfair OP, I have a 7.75 year old daughter, if I was in your position I would leave her at home for 15 minutes.

Why didn’t you have you eldest walk home and left the 7 year old in the car?

Stop, take a breath and draw a line under it. She's OK, everyone's OK. Don't be judged by MN!

This. It wasn't ideal, but these things happen now and again - she is fine, please don't stress over it.

Come on now, let’s be honest here it’s a NO.

OP, you said that she goes back tomorrow so she was on her final day of isolation. I think that does make a difference as she's very unlikely to be harbouring the virus - she goes back to school in the morning anyway. A mask and a walk outside would be safer than leaving her at home.

Also, you said it's a 30 minute walk each way - that plus the faff of waiting for the children, getting them in the car etc sounds like you'd be away from home considerably longer than 15 minutes.

Absolutely not trying to pile on, but for me, it's a hard no - regardless of how sensible your child is.

Today, our dishwasher started smoking and randomly burst into flames. Totally unexpected. (It's been a weird day here!) What would your 7 yr old do if that happened while she was at home alone? It's not about whether she can be trusted to behave, it's about what she would do if something unexpected happened. At 7 I doubt she'd have the maturity to deal with it. And that's aside from the usual "what if you had an accident and were knocked unconscious" scenario.

One of the PP asked a good question - the courtesy car is too small for all your DC/DSC so what would you have done if they were all in school? You say you can't walk because of your sciatica so how would you have gotten them home? Couldn't you have applied the same solution?

As I say, genuinely not trying to beat you up. My parenting is very different as both my children are autistic and are very, very young in their outlook despite just turning 11. I just think this wasn't an emergency situation and there were other possibilities that could have made things a bit safer for your 7 yr old.

Plus side, she's fine. You're kicking yourself. You get your car back tomorrow. No harm done.

I’m sorry you were put in this position.

I don’t t think it’s the worst thing in the world. It’s over and she is okay. You won’t do it again because of how you feel now. I’m just not sure what else you could have done. Have her ride along, Pick up two, leave two then go back again so no one was alone, maybe.

Tricky. Culturally not done in the UK, but in Japan, kids are catching trains alone at that age.

This is tragic

@HannaYeah - your comment made me think about that famous puzzle with the fox, the hen and the seed that you need to transport to the island without anything getting eaten and making sure you move them in the right order hahaha 😅😅

Sorry, I'm no help at all - I just had to say this as it's stuck in my head now haha

Think it depends on the child. Some children are a lot more sensible then others. I have left mine when I have had to at that age as they have always had a sensible head on them from a very young age.

@MoonJelly oh yes sorry I missed that.

ExhaustedFlamingo,
Tell us what happened in the puzzle then .
If you don’t mind .
X

@avamiah - do you not know the riddle?

I won't post the answer, just in case you want to have a think about it but it's this:

"You have a fox, a chicken and a sack of grain. You must cross a river with only one of them at a time. If you leave the fox with the chicken he will eat it; if you leave the chicken with the grain he will eat it. How can you get all three across safely?"

So basically, if you take the seed across, the fox will eat the chicken while they're alone. Take the chicken across, and leave the seed with the fox, fine. But then who to take next? If you take the seed across, the chicken will eat it when you go back for the fox. If you take the fox across, the fox will eat the chicken when you go back for the seed.

How do you do it? (It is possible by the way).

I am very aware this offers no help with the car seat dilemma - my brain is just random hahaha! x

ExhaustedFlamingo,
No, I’ve never heard it .lol
I’m terrible at Puzzles but my daughter and mum love them .hahaha
Thanks

@avamiah - it's one of those puzzles that I seem to have heard repeatedly over the years. I think it's a favourite in recruitment centres when they're watching to see how people problem solve and communicate haha!

Google and you'll find the answer to how to do it. Or pm me and I'll tell you. I won't write it here as it's a fun one to try out but I imagine lots of people will know it. Give it to your daughter and mum to figure out 😅 I love a good puzzle!

different strokes for different folks-ive left my 2(now teens)since they were this age-i was a single parent & didnt have anyone near me living abroad. They were usually too engrossed in whatever they were doing and were prepped/prepared with phone too..it also just wasnt considered the huge drama it is in the UK (though strangely families are less close and treat their elderly shockingly!)-people just have to get on with it sometimes even if its less than ideal for all these precious delicate types.
TBH id be more worried about the kids who cant even handle their parents on another floor of the home or terrified?!

I'm always astonished at the low expectations of children's capabilities exhibited onMN.

@ExhaustedFlamingo

Just checked whether it was the weekend, as the wine seems to be flowing, then remembered it is mid week lockdown lunacy!

I agree with PP, there is no wonder that kids these days are struggling with real life. Good luck when they go to Uni, or will all these "I will report you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" lunatics be the parent who calls the Uni to complain that Tarquin didnt get a good enough mark in his latest submission?!

It's not ideal, but a sensible, trustworthy child of that age is probably fine. 99 times in 100, nothing bad will happen, and children spend longer than 15 minutes unsupervised all the time, but of course we'd rather err on the side of caution.

What's done is done. I'd stop thinking about it, since you have your vehicle back and it's not a regular occurrence.