To think I'm helping ex cheat his way to a council house?

[lurchersrule]

I'm divorced and ex is in financial difficulty - always was before we married and went back to his normal when we split six years ago. He thinks most jobs are beneath him and wants to be a musician/writer so it's mostly his own fault.

He has the dc overnight 4 times a fortnight and this stays similar in the school holidays. In 6 years he's had them twice for a full week at a time, both times when his dm took them all on holiday. Last year dc kept telling me he was moving to a council house as he struggles with his rent. I wouldn't speak about stuff like that with them but I just smiled and nodded. Then he emailed to ask me for a copy of a court order stating his access to them. I had to remind him that we've never been to court over it and have only ever made arrangements between us so there's nothing in writing. He said he needed it to get a council house so we'd need to go to court. I said don't be ridiculous, he sent me an abusive message and the dc stopped mentioning council houses.

Then last night he WhasApped ds1 asking him for photos of the dc's passport pages as he needed it for council accommodation. I suppose he is again going to try and get subsidised housing by claiming he has the dc more than he does. I really don't want to get involved - I've told ds to leave it for now but he obviously wants to reply to his dad. Could there be any real harm in letting him send his dad the photos? I feel like ex is a massive freeloader and always has been and others will be more deserving, but it's not really my business. I also don't feel he should ask ds direct for these things. Shall I just let him send them? I suppose I'm worried about what else he cold claim as well.

No do not send him anything. Do not get involved. He is a CF and needs to get a job. Your the resident parent not him so doesn't need a council house when he is just a lazy fuck.

As a single male of working age, how likely is he to ever be offered anything? Given he will be the lowest priority on the list.

Hide the passports so your children don’t t know where they are.

Ring the council. Share your concerns. Where will it stop? Will he start claiming child tax credits for them etc?

The likelihood he’ll get a council property based upon his situation is slim to none. I’m sure he’s trying to push a fraudulent narrative which you don’t want to be a part of. Disengage because as soon as you agree to one thing, there will be a steady stream of incremental ‘favours’ down the line.

Council houses aren’t free, he’ll still need to pay rent on it. If he has the children 4/14 nights, he does need safe and appropriate accommodation for it. He may be exaggerating his involvement, but perhaps if you’re not a council tenant he’ll get away with it.

Who gets the child benefit for them?? That's all the proof the council need to know who the resident parent is

He sounds kind of flaky asking you for a court order when he should know it never went to court, but presumably needs some proof that he has the DC for the nights he actually does. Once he has that, it’s up to thy council to judge his eligibility. If he is telling them he has the DC more often a photocopied page of a passport is hardly going to tell them that. He should be asking you directly for what the council not going through the DC.

He does have the children two nights a week. You could put this in writing for him. I don't see the harm in letting him have photocopies of his own children's passports. It doesn't sound as if you are worried about absconding with them.

It should be up to the council not you whether he gets council housing. Plenty of single adults have council accommodation so I don't see why he shouldn't if he qualifies.

He won't be able to claim he's the main cater if he's not so don't worry that you're helping him fiddle the system. Let him do what he wants and if he gets housed that's between him and the council.

I guess it depends on what he's going to say when he applies. So I think you need to ask him to be honest. If he is planning to say he has DC the majority of the time, then you are very right to withhold any documents and insist to DC that they mustn't assist him, because that would come back around. If he's just applying and taking a shot to see if he gets approved, then he's more deluded than you thought because no council in the UK would prioritise him over another family. I've just applied for housing and I am DC's carer living with my stbx who is abusive. I've still been told I'll be waiting a long time.

I know it won't be easy to get truthful answers from him because he's blatantly only worried about himself. So if you're in any doubt, withhold any support and perhaps contact the council to let them know about your child access arrangements🤷🏼‍♀️

I would ask for details of his application reference number, and ask for an email address so you can send a statememt of his pattern on contact with the DC

Then whenever he asks for passport, you can say 'oh yes, I must look those out for you, by the way I'm still waiting for that email address and reference number'

I think you need to provide the kids passport details if asked but he should be asking you, not the children.

Don't worry about the rest, the council will sort it out.

I have a family member who works as a housing officer, they process applications and interview people applying for social housing.
Passports mean nothing. A court order showing anything less than the person in question being the resident parent me as nothing.
They need proof of child benefit entitlement (tax credits which can apparently be applied for and received easily don’t cut it). With out a child benefit letter and bank statements showing the payment with the matching child benefit number he will get no where.

He can apply as a single adult and be housed accordingly in studio or one bed accommodation but I am presuming he wants something bigger than that which is why he wants the children’s details. He will only be entitled to an additional room if he can provide proof he is the resident parent not just providing proof the children exist

Council housing is not subsidised, it's just not made profit on. On the other hand, private rentals are grossly inflated.

It's not down to you whether he is granted a council tenancy or not, let the council decide.

As a single man he'll probably only get a one bed flat or a bedsit. If he can prove he has the children x amount of times a week then he may be able to get a 2 bed. This only benefits your children. If you ask no further questions then you are doing nothing wrong.

Could the council have asked for proof of the kids existence and requested birth certificates or passports? Tell your son to reply that he doesn't know where they are, lol.

They are his dc also, so I'm not sure why you wouldn't send him photo copied of their passports.

I'm presuming you claim child benefit for them? If this stops then you know he's done something he shouldn't have and can talk to the people you need to at this point.
As a single man, I guess if he can prove he has the dc X times per week then he's likely to be able to get accommodation with more than 1 bedroom. Surely this benefits your dc.

He's slightly more likely to get housed at all if he needs an extra room as there isn't much accommodation for single adults without it being due to a vulnerable characteristic (old age, disability etc).

But he's not likely to be considered in need just because he has eow access. Giving him a letter, proof of his children won't make much difference. I'm not sure why you think it would be fraudulent to try to access social housing? Technically anyone can apply to access it, though debt arreas are an excluding factor. There are just points systems as it's so limited in availability, he's unlikely to ever get top of a list. Especially as councils do what they can to 'cull' long term waiting lists.

Do you not want your children to go to somewhere suitable and safe when they stay with him? This is for your children.... think of them !! He may not even get one but don’t actually put a stop to it because if he does end up homeless then what will happen to the relationship between your children and him?

He will have to prove that he's the resident parent which he won't be able to do, obviously.

No harm in letting him have photocopies of their passports. They are not proof of him being resident parent.

I assume you claim CB for them?

He has parental responsibility. He has a right to the passports.

I don’t really understand, how is he ‘cheating his way’ to a council house?
He’ll apply, and either he’ll be accepted, and put in the waiting list, or he won’t.
Either way, down to the council, not you, to say whether he’s entitled, surely?

They’re a bit more savvy than ‘he has pics of his kids passports therefore he must be a priority single parent’
Anyone can apply for a council house

Why don't you write to the council?

To whom it may concern

I understand x is applying for council accommodation. I am happy to confirm our private access arrangements for child 1, 2 and 3 are as follows;

Term time 2 overnights per week
Holiday time 2 overnights per week

Kind regards

Then you tell your dc and ex that you have sent in a letter supporting his claim.