To think this isn't a nice thing to do to someone?

[Feelingdown9]

Maybe I'm being sensitive here...

I had a fwb for around three months with a man I've known for years. He was honest from the start and said that he wasn't ready for a relationship (which was fine at the time) but of course I developed feelings eventually which weren't reciprocated, fine. We decided to end things which was just over a month ago.

Tonight I was feeling a bit lonely and fancied some company so I sent him a message basically just saying "are you seeing anyone at the moment?" to which be replied with "maybe" and a photo attached of him and another woman displaying the peace sign (or possibly two fingers which could mean they were telling me to F off). I replied with a laughing face and wished him well, no reply from him.

Around 5 minutes later I received a Facebook request off the woman but she later deleted it before I had a chance to respond, which suggests he was showing her my Facebook page and taking the piss out of me.

I feel absolutely mortified and so embarrassed, but also feel this was quite a cruel thing to do to someone? I know I asked the question but he could of just said "yes I am seeing someone", no need for a picture at all. It also makes me feel awful as he told me many times he didn't want a relationship even though he is obviously dating her, which just makes me feel like I wasn't good enough.

I just feel so down. AIBU?

But yeah basically block and move on. You deserve better

I would be pissed off! That's unnecessary and hurtful!

Yes that was unnecessary. You're well off out of it!

There was no need for him to do that. He’s not a nice person. Ignore him if he tries contacting you again.

You shouldn't be mortified OP. It was them behaving like adolescent that's, not you

On the plus side, if it makes you feel better, I bet she's secretly wondering about you and what went on! Ahh yes focus on the lady who may not even know anything about this rather than the man who definitely does. Also, finding joy in things like this doesn't make you a good person.

You're overthinking things. And if he's really just a fwb, you've no right to complain.

Of course she does. She's not a bloody robot, devoid of feeling!

Oh OP.

When someone says they don't want a relationship, more often than not they mean: 'I don't want a relationship with YOU'.

For him it was just friends with benefits, for you it wasn't. Obviously you are not the type of person who can have that sort of arrangement - the attraction is no strings sex and usually people have these 'relationships' with people they wouldn't ever have a relationship with.

While it may have been a bit dickish for him to send the photo while knowing your feelings, I wouldn't call him a dick for having a relationship now considering you were only fwb.

I doubt the woman was making fun of you though, she probably was there when he sent that message (maybe she asked him to send the photo) and then fb stalked you and accidentally sent you a request.

Why would he make fun of you? You haven't said how old you are but I assume (and hope) you are all adults.

@Feelingdown9

Thanks *@greyhills* ! Okay well I've just had another peak at the picture and he is pulling the peace sign and she is pulling two fingers so obviously telling me to F off. I don't even know the woman.

As a pp has said I think I've had a lucky escape.

That is mean OP, try to forget about it though, he's not worth it

My eXH’s DP sent my DP a friend request once. You will never, ever, convince me that she wasn’t looking at his profile and sent it accidentally.

My DP accepted the request. but unfriended her a day or so later when I said I wasn’t comfortable with the idea that she can essentially look into my life.

Interestingly though when I mentioned it to eXH he said he thought they’d been friends for a long time, so I have no idea what went on there...

IME FWB relationships rarely work out, someone always becomes invested.

And it seems sad that you walked away when you developed feelings for him but still went back when you were lonely. You’re worth more than that.

Interestingly though when I mentioned it to eXH he said he thought they’d been friends for a long time, so I have no idea what went on there... confused

Does your DP deny they were friends? If yes, sounds like exH and his DP were both in on the stalking.

He sounds vile so does she. Onwards and upwards for you