Three months in and dating someone else

[anon13579]

We have been online dating for three months, went on a couple of dates (due to Covid) and text daily with occasional calls.

He said he is also chatting to someone else but not on any dating sites.

AIBU to expect him to commit to being exclusive? I would feel guilty going back on dating sites whilst also talking to him.

If IABU how long should I wait?

I think you need to communicate your expectations to him and ensure you’re on the same page about what you want, rather than wait it out.

YABU...At least 3 months of f2f dating

If you want to be exclusive, you need to have that chat with him.

To be honest, on online dating, I always have about 3 men on the go at once. Simply because you never know if one is going to disappear at any point.

If I liked someone enough, then I'd have that chat; but I always imagine the blokes are always chatting to a few in the same way that I am.,

When you met for your dates did you hold hands & kiss goodbye, and when you talk is it as friends or girlfriend/boyfriend?

Personally I would want a sign of commitment to trying to want things to work based on the amount of time, but if it's more friends-zone than romance I can see it could still be early stage.

If exclusivity at this stage is crucial for you then you need to tell him so and either be prepared for him to break things off with you or to have to break things off yourself if he says he thinks it’s too soon.

I think it’s too early, personally. You haven’t been dating for three months if you’ve only met twice: text messaging isn’t dating and isn’t necessarily the real person talking. Why not keep your own options open? You’ve no need to feel guilty, he’s clearly told you it wouldn’t be a problem.

Thanks everyone, I'm guess I'm nervous that I would send the wrong message if I went on a dating app and would like to see if this works out

There is no such thing as online dating. If you’ve only met twice you can’t ask him to be exclusive to you, he’s a stranger.

Agree with all the advice. 3 months of online communication is no time at all.

Op, how come if it’s been three months you’ve only met twice?

You could easily be going for socially distanced walks, or in many areas up until two weeks ago meeting for dinner drinks etc? Only meeting twice in three months and having a predominantly text based relationship does not equate to dating.

Agree it's too soon.
Don't ask him to be exclusive,you've met twice.you probably know your post delivery person better.
Wait until you have seen much more of him and there's nothing to stop you keeping your options open either.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate and will take on board the advice - probably just too much time on my hands to think with lockdown