Q1: Please explain why the 6pm national news is broadcast at exactly one minute after 6pm?
Irish time obviously (ahem, I mean angelus bell)
Q2: Sean: "You wouldn't put the kettle on would you?"
Mary: "I will yeah"
Is Mary going to put the kettle on for Sean?
Absolutely not.
Q3: “Mammy is after going to get the messages.” Explain.
Mum is going shopping
Q4: "Give 5 examples of where/when you can apply the word 'yoke'"
It's a yoke you can use to describe the yoke yer man has. You know that yoke he keeps across the street. I've a yoke that's similar but not quite the same. Paddy's yoke is the best one though
Q5: The immersion. Discuss.
We don't discuss the immersion any more since we moved. The trauma is too much to bear.
Q6: In the event that you lose your passport, should you
(a) report it lost and apply for a new one
(b) apply for a temporary passport or
(c) pray to St Anthony?
Pray to St Anthony obviously. It works too.
Q7: A local man becomes successful. Discuss the reactions that this may illicit among his neighbours (300 pages or less)
Moira will be delighted. Mrs Kinsella thinks it's all a bit shady. Yer man down the street is not best pleased and thinks it'll put him out of a job. Ruth is convinced he's in cahoots with ff/sf for nefarious purposes and has been talking too much to Mrs Kinsella
Q8: Where were Miley and Fidelma caught?
In the hay the naughty pair.
Q9: Give 6 examples of how to use 'grand'
I'm grand, you're grand, sure it's grand. He/she/it's grand
Q10: Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye’ is an appropriate way to end a phone conversation, yes or no?
absolutely
Q11: What does 'put the delph in the press' mean?
Put the good crockery away before I belt yer round the ear.
Q12: How well should you have known someone to attend their funeral?
Met him in a pub once five years ago. Seemed an alright sort.
Q13: Fill in the blank..."roll it there
Collette
Q14: If you living in one part of the country, having grown up in another part of the country - which is 'home' and which is 'home, home'
' Home home' is home and home is just wherever your bills get delivered to.
Supplementary question - What is the difference between going 'out' and going 'out, out'?
Now that would be telling!
Q15: Can you explain where yer man from up above lives ?
You know upstairs
Q16: Aoifes leaving cert is next week. What concrete steps can Aoifes grandmother take to ensure her success?
Burn through a multipack of holy candles her cousin father Brendan gave to her.
Q17: Bridie: Are you going to take the dog for a walk at all? Dónal: I'll do that now in a minute
When will Dónal take the dog for a walk: -Now -In a minute -Other - please specify.
Never.