Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be cross about running out of fuel?

77 replies

Dogscanteatonions · 16/11/2020 10:39

When DP and I are going somewhere in the car together he usually drives as he gets car sick when not driving.

We used my car all weekend (not in England so no travel restrictions) and did a few small ish journeys, passed petrol stations a number of times.

Got in my car this morning, literally drove down two streets then ran out of petrol. Luckily I limped half into a space so not entirely blocking the road. If it had been the bit further back I would have had to push it down the road to get it in a bit otherwise it would have completely blocked an entire road as it's narrow.

I called DP who came with fuel but he didn't even apologise at first. His take was it's one of those things and it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

I said it's not one of those things it's completely avoidable and that if he's driving the car it's his responsibility to know it needs fuel putting in. my car tells you exactly how many miles you've got left in the tank. I have only run out of fuel once in my life before now and that was years ago when I'd not long passed my test. I never let my car get that low.

What also makes me very crosses that this morning he offered his bank card to me to get fuel - I was a bit bemused as we hadn't done loads of mileage and it isn't something we normally do as these things work themselves out. Obviously now I know he did it because he knew I was really really low on fuel and was probably a bit worried.

AIBU to be cross? The lack of apology irked my hugely too. He did apologise but only after he saw I was cross.

OP posts:
WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo · 16/11/2020 10:47

Driving home and parking the car when there is not enough fuel in it to get to a garage is completely irresponsible. As the driver he should have realised this and filled it up before returning home. So no you are not being unreasonable, that's a crappy thing to do to your partner.

BarbaraofSeville · 16/11/2020 10:48

If you only did a few smallish journeys over the weekend it must have hardly any fuel in it anyway and it sounds like you were both there, so it's probably just as much your fault as his.

In our house the conversation would have been 'we need to go to X, Y and Z, which car are we taking and the car owner would have probably said 'we'll take mine but it needs filling up because there is hardly any petrol in it' and the driver would have pulled into one of the petrol stations passed but if they didn't the passenger would have said something especially if you knew you had hardly any petrol and would need it for your working week.

Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 16/11/2020 11:17

@BarbaraofSeville

If you only did a few smallish journeys over the weekend it must have hardly any fuel in it anyway and it sounds like you were both there, so it's probably just as much your fault as his.

In our house the conversation would have been 'we need to go to X, Y and Z, which car are we taking and the car owner would have probably said 'we'll take mine but it needs filling up because there is hardly any petrol in it' and the driver would have pulled into one of the petrol stations passed but if they didn't the passenger would have said something especially if you knew you had hardly any petrol and would need it for your working week.

There was something like about 100 miles in the tank when I last drove it on Friday. Quite rural so the smallish journey to us probably is more miles then other people think small! He also took the car on Saturday to run some errands for a friend I don't know how many miles he did then.

I fail to see how I can be to blame when he's literally got in the car and looked at the petrol gauge each time he drove

OP posts:
vanillandhoney · 16/11/2020 11:24

YANBU, he should have said it needed filling up.

I would be annoyed too, especially because if I was stuck without fuel it would impact my job!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/11/2020 11:24

YANBU. Especially if rural where petrol stations are more spread out. It's bad for the engine as well.

We get earnings to refuel when it gets to 10percent. That's about 25miles I think. Never let it go below 5percent, even if it's an end of month £5 top up. (I drive 10mules a day just on school run)

MissConductUS · 16/11/2020 11:28

Letting it get that low is an odd bit of passive-aggressive behavior. Does he have form for doing other things like this?

Ducksurprise · 16/11/2020 11:28

It's also really bad for the engine to run low on fuel as it sucks all the crap up from the bottom of the tank.

whitianga · 16/11/2020 11:29

That was really mean of him and I'd be furious. But did you not notice the orange light on the second you turned the key?

FreyaBarnet · 16/11/2020 11:32

@whitianga

That was really mean of him and I'd be furious. But did you not notice the orange light on the second you turned the key?
Even if she had, it doesn't sound like it had enough fuel in it to make it to a petrol station
Shesellsseashellsontheseashore · 16/11/2020 11:32

He should have looked at the petrol gauge. But if you only did a few short journeys then you must have known it was running low yourself from the last time you drove it. I would have said pull into a petrol station when you neared one and filled it up.

AlexaShutUp · 16/11/2020 11:32

I don't understand how you didn't notice before you left home?

DynamoKev · 16/11/2020 11:32

Being "cross" always sounds like something from Enid Blyton to me but YANBU

Louloulouloubells · 16/11/2020 11:33

He offered you his bank card this morning to get fuel therefore trying to stop you running low. Also you passed three pertrol stations, did you not mention to stop to get fuel?

All seems a bit of non issue although it probably was an annoying morning but seems your both to blambe to me.

LimaFoxtrotCharlie · 16/11/2020 11:33

If there was 100 miles in the tank last time you drive on Friday, and you did a few smallish journeys at the weekend, it’s obvious you would have needed to refuel.
Surely you noticed that the gauge only showed a range of a couple of miles at most when you set off this morning?

vanillandhoney · 16/11/2020 11:34

@whitianga

That was really mean of him and I'd be furious. But did you not notice the orange light on the second you turned the key?
Even if she had, she said she'd only driven two streets before it conked out. Most people don't live next door to petrol stations!
Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 16/11/2020 11:34

@MissConductUS

Letting it get that low is an odd bit of passive-aggressive behavior. Does he have form for doing other things like this?
No not at all, he's just so easy going he always thinks 'oh it'll be alright' and assumes there will be enough to get to a garage. He never ever imagines worse case scenarios! His take on most things is it will all work out. He is very much a procrastinator mind you and really forgetful. He got a parking ticket last week and I can bet any money he won't pay it will after the fortnight when it's half the price unless I remind him and remind him.
OP posts:
vanillandhoney · 16/11/2020 11:35

@LimaFoxtrotCharlie

If there was 100 miles in the tank last time you drive on Friday, and you did a few smallish journeys at the weekend, it’s obvious you would have needed to refuel. Surely you noticed that the gauge only showed a range of a couple of miles at most when you set off this morning?
But even if she had noticed, it may not have been enough fuel to get to the nearest petrol station!

He was the driver, he should have noticed the car was running low and been responsible enough to fill the car up.

Pumpertrumper · 16/11/2020 11:35

In your situation OP is decline letting DH drive next weekend and just simply state ‘I’ll be driving until you can be responsible enough to monitor fuel levels’ then hand him a plastic bag and tell him he either sits in the passenger seat or stays home.

I’d maintain this all weekend then next weekend question ‘do you think you’re responsible enough to monitor the fuel now?’ And then let him drive if he agrees.

I would follow that up with a ‘If you leave me with no fuel again I will never let you drive the car again’

Sirzy · 16/11/2020 11:36

I think it’s a duel responsibility thing. If you knew it was only on 100 miles and had been used a bit for the weekend then I would have checked.

Pumpertrumper · 16/11/2020 11:38

Fwiw I drive in our house as I get car sick. DH is always passenger and I do monitor fuel regardless of whose car we are in. I would never leave DH with no fuel (we live rurally too so if you don’t have a good 15-20 miles available you’ll probably run out before getting to a petrol station)

Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 16/11/2020 11:39

I did notice the car had zero miles in it the instant I got in but didn't really have much option than to try and get to the petrol station - the closest is not even half a mile away.

OP posts:
Toilenstripes · 16/11/2020 11:39

I think you fly off the handle way too easily. It was a mistake not a conspiracy. Be gracious.

Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 16/11/2020 11:42

@Louloulouloubells

He offered you his bank card this morning to get fuel therefore trying to stop you running low. Also you passed three pertrol stations, did you not mention to stop to get fuel?

All seems a bit of non issue although it probably was an annoying morning but seems your both to blambe to me.

I stupidly thought that if the fuel got that low he'd go to a petrol station! We'd passed them enough times. I assumed there would be enough for me this morning to get to one.
OP posts:
Original poster
Dogscanteatonions · 16/11/2020 11:46

@Pumpertrumper

In your situation OP is decline letting DH drive next weekend and just simply state ‘I’ll be driving until you can be responsible enough to monitor fuel levels’ then hand him a plastic bag and tell him he either sits in the passenger seat or stays home.

I’d maintain this all weekend then next weekend question ‘do you think you’re responsible enough to monitor the fuel now?’ And then let him drive if he agrees.

I would follow that up with a ‘If you leave me with no fuel again I will never let you drive the car again’

I've said to him he's not allowed to drive my car again if he can't take responsibility for this.

He lets his car run stupidly low and so many times he's asked to take mine as he's really low on fuel.

I am surprised that some think I'm as much to blame - if I did this to someone I would be so apologetic and feel awful!

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 16/11/2020 11:54

@Dogscanteatonions You are not at fault at all IMO-your partner should be ashamed of himself. "Be gracious" even though he let you run out of fuel in what could've been a dangerous scenario running out of fuel and being in an accident?

Swipe left for the next trending thread