To want another dog, after a bad experience

[thewaterfromhere]

Preparing myself for a bit of a flaming here.

In the next couple of years, we’d love to be thinking about having a dog. However, we did have a bad experience with a rescue.

Reasonable to try again, with a puppy?

We went for a puppy, rather than a rescue, to avoid exactly the problem you experienced, as we had two cats. We were on a waiting list for 18 months to get the right puppy from the right breeder, but it was worth it - we had no problems integrating him with our two cats (it was easier, in fact, than introducing a new cat to resident cat) and we had 14 wonderful years with him. He died earlier this year and we still miss him. So, my recommendation would be a puppy - but research, research, research and be prepared to wait.

St Bernard's are fab with other household pets, big gentle giants with early training they make wonderful pets. They get along with many other pets in a home from what I have heard of/seen. Unfortunately can't speak from personal experience.

Plus....is your cat a vegan btw? Re: ripping another creature to pieces...
As cats are... you know.... known for killing birds......and mice.....

@Yeahnahmum that's one of the most ridiculous comments I've read on mumsnet. You deserve some sort of reward!

OP you cannot have a reasonable conversation about dogs on MN, as you've discovered.

I would not get a rescue, two people I know who got one and it was a disaster with one owner ending up in hospital.

@ExclamationPerfume. I think you are definitely being too hard on the OP. But I am glad there is help out there on how to train a dog and cat together. Can you share some wisdom please, to help others ( websites etc).

Dog threads are the most entertaining threads on Mumsnet.

It’s like the Monty Python Four Yorkshiremen sketch, the way all the batshit crazy dog lovers try to top each other to show their devotion to the species and the level of shit behaviour they’ll put up with.

‘Well, I rescued a beagle that ate my grandmother and then invaded Poland, but I didn’t return him. He sleeps on my bed now. I sleep in the shed, but I have a baby listening device in case he needs anything in the night - a small child to gnaw on, or something like that.’

OP, get your puppy. They’re not that much hard work really, you just have to stand outside a lot (so maybe wait until spring).

I think some dogs shouldn't be rehomed unless with a very experienced person.

Personally I had both my dogs from puppies. I was able to correctly socialise them, ensure that they travel in the car well, good behaviour, taught to come to call and ignore noises such as fireworks, vacuums etc. If a puppy is correctly socialised and taught from young it avoids all the problems that people post about endlessly on here. However, not everyone has the time or patience to do that. Puppies are a lot of work and commitment and if you don't have that then don't get one.

IMO too many people go and get a puppy (and perhaps some a rescue) and don't really think about the commitment and end up passing the dog back or along or make some excuse that they suddenly became busy blah blah - read 'bored' (seen them on the local facebook) and the sweet puppy has grown and developed problems - which of course is 'not their fault'.....

Only get if you can give the time and commitment for the LIFE of the dog

If a puppy is correctly socialised and taught from young it avoids all the problems that people post about endlessly on here.

While I do agree with this for the most part it's not always the case.

I have a dog who is reactive after an off lead dog charged up to him out of nowhere and attacked him on his lead. There was nothing I could have done to prevent it - this dog just appeared around the corner and went for him!

There's also a lot to be said for good breeding and people choosing the right breed for them. You can't, for example, train the hunting instinct out of a beagle or the greed out of a Labrador. I often read threads where people have clearly done no research on the breed and are then surprised it behaves exactly like it should!

Bloody hell @thewaterfromhere you really don't deserve the kicking some idiots are giving you.

I've always had cats and dogs, usually more than one of each - I've also successfully integrated 4 rescue dogs with the cats.

I've had two failed rescues. The first, like you, we were really not given full info, the dog killed my elderly, dog loving, cat. The second was a number of years later, we got the dog home only to find that she had an incredibly strong prey drive (again not what the rescue told us) and we were not willing to risk it again.

Returning a rescue that isn't the right fit for you, and is a danger to other living creatures in your family, is the responsible thing to do.

Be aware though - one out of my 5 pups had a strong prey drive and needed a lot of training, she never liked the cats but we managed the situation.

Do your homework, try to find a breeder that has cats, be prepared to wait for the right pup. Good luck.

God you see some total nonsense on here. Special mention to @Yeahnahmum and are cats vegan comment.

No they're not btw, so does that mean it follows they should be allowed to be shredded by other stronger animals?😫

I know highly experienced life time dog owners who have returned rescue dogs. But oh no not ever on Mumsnet. It's a different parallel universe here on MN.

You sound sensible and responsible OP. I was surprised at how demanding a puppy has been. But lots of things are demanding. You'll be fine.

Thanks. I’m not completely inexperienced, and I have had a puppy before. I didn’t quite find it the akin to the trenches of WW1 experience it’s often described as being on here but it’s possible we were lucky. But a bad experience can leave you a bit shaken.

God you see some total nonsense on here. Special mention to@Yeahnahmumand are cats vegan comment.

No they're not btw, so does that mean it follows they should be allowed to be shredded by other stronger animals?

The f*ck 😂 i just meant that cats are killers. And op is not getting rid of her cat so i dont understand how this dog was the problem. As this dog probably ate rodents or birds or something. But so would her cat?! Its just double standards to me

And to another pp that said i should be awarded an award for asking a question and raising awareness about cats being killers....uh yes please give an award. But if yoy say that that is one of the most rediculous comments you've ever read, then you must be a new member 😉

@Yeahnahmum

God you see some total nonsense on here. Special mention to@Yeahnahmumand are cats vegan comment.

No they're not btw, so does that mean it follows they should be allowed to be shredded by other stronger animals?

The f*ck 😂 i just meant that cats are killers. And op is not getting rid of her cat so i dont understand how this dog was the problem. As this dog probably ate rodents or birds or something. But so would her cat?! Its just double standards to me

And to another pp that said i should be awarded an award for asking a question and raising awareness about cats being killers....uh yes please give an award. But if yoy say that that is one of the most rediculous comments you've ever read, then you must be a new member 😉

Eh? I think she meant the dog was terrorising her cat,not the dog was eating rodents ...

Just ignore her, I think she’s on the windup.

‘Well, I rescued a beagle that ate my grandmother and then invaded Poland, but I didn’t return him. He sleeps on my bed now. I sleep in the shed, but I have a baby listening device in case he needs anything in the night - a small child to gnaw on, or something like that.’

and accurate, too.

The fck 😂 i just meant that cats are killers. And op is not getting rid of her cat so i dont understand how this dog was the problem. As this dog probably ate rodents or birds or something. But so would her cat?! Its just double standards to me

The cat is a pet. The local rats the cat may kill aren't pets. OP probably doesn't have an emotional bond with the local vermin. HTH.

If a puppy is correctly socialised and taught from young it avoids all the problems that people post about endlessly on here.

No this isn't the case necessarily, temperament has a lot to do with it. Choosing a breed and breeder with a good history for temperament will help but even so you can still get wild cards.

Good training can help a lot and mask a challenging temperament but some dogs will never be bombproof and will always need management that others wouldn't.

The fck 😂* i just meant that cats are killers. And op is not getting rid of her cat so i dont understand how this dog was the problem. As this dog probably ate rodents or birds or something. But so would her cat?! Its just double standards to me

And to another pp that said i should be awarded an award for asking a question and raising awareness about cats being killers....uh yes please give an award. But if yoy say that that is one of the most rediculous comments you've ever read, then you must be a new membe*r

Second most ridiculous comment!

This thread is mad. The rescue misinformed you about the dog, I think it's fair enough that you returned it. It wouldn't be fair on anyone keeping the dog and cat in a stressful situation where you felt unable to train or trust it.

We tried to adopt a dog for three years from rescues. All the well-behaved, well-trained, family dogs were gone before they even went on the site/we got a chance to visit. All the ones left couldn't be left alone ever/couldn't live with other pets/couldn't be around children.

So in answer to you OP, no, you wouldn't be unreasonable to try again with a puppy. Of course they're hard work but you have a much bigger, easier window of opportunity to train them.

As a dog owner myself my response would normally be to say no especially as i have a friend who brought a puppy on a whim and then returned it for no reason other than it wasn't what they expected and they didn't want it anymore.
However a relative of mine years ago brought a puppy, i can't remember the exacts but she didnt want a big dog and was told its breed etc and everything was fine.
However when she purchased the dog and took it to the vets they informed her it was a different breed to what she had been told and would grow to be very big. It was a very strong dog and after a couple of weeks her 4 year old daughter was terrified of it and refused to be in the same room as the dog. She did her best but in the end having her daughter petrified of being in her own house was too much and she had to return it.
She then went on to do her research and chose smaller breed dogs and has had 2 lovely dogs for years now that her daughter had no problems with.
In exceptional circumstances sometimes things dont work out. So i would advice you to think very carefully before you did get another and i hope things work out for you next time :)

The fck 😂 i just meant that cats are killers. And op is not getting rid of her cat so i dont understand how this dog was the problem. As this dog probably ate rodents or birds or something. But so would her cat?! Its just double standards to me

What are you on about ? It's literally irrelevant that cats like to chase and kill rodents. OP got rid of the dog because it was trying to attack her cat because of its ultra high prey drive. 🤦‍♀️ There's no 'double standards'. OP wasn't judging the animals on their lifestyle choices and then getting rid of one.

Jupst ignore her, I think she’s on the windup.

yeah shouldn't have bitten the line. think you're right.

@Yeahnahmum

God you see some total nonsense on here. Special mention to@Yeahnahmumand are cats vegan comment.

No they're not btw, so does that mean it follows they should be allowed to be shredded by other stronger animals?

The f*ck 😂 i just meant that cats are killers. And op is not getting rid of her cat so i dont understand how this dog was the problem. As this dog probably ate rodents or birds or something. But so would her cat?! Its just double standards to me

And to another pp that said i should be awarded an award for asking a question and raising awareness about cats being killers....uh yes please give an award. But if yoy say that that is one of the most rediculous comments you've ever read, then you must be a new member 😉

So you’d have no issue if your dog tried to rip apart your cat on the basis that cats kill rodents. Ok then....

I've bought two puppies and rescued one, all (roughly) the same breed. The three of them live together very harmoniously and our lives are very suited to dogs so it's all good.

If you read all the advice op, there is actually no way of of buying a dog which isn't a rescue and not being made to feel like a shit human being by MN.

We did ours 'all wrong' and it has been fine.

They are pugs btw, none have breathing issues and all love running and pretending to be big dogs. The rescue met a cat on our walk the other week, tried to make friends but the cat scratched him so that was that.

The other two love to chase anything so they would have chased her if they saw her first but would never hurt her.

I did a good puppy training course with the first dog then felt confident to go it alone with the other two. They all have great recall, love other dogs and people. Plenty of pain in the arse stuff too but I won't bore you .

It certainly sounds as if the rescue dog was not the right dog for you. There's no guarantees with any dog, but the right breed, right breeder, and proper socialisation can give your dog the best chances of living safely with your cat.