Pillow theft

[justsayso]

Last night my DP switched off the lights really quickly and was all 'goodnight love, see you in the morning'. I settled down as well but realised there was something off immediately, a disturbance in the force if you will. I asked him to turn on the lights back on and he refused, a short scuffle ensued towards the bedside lamp - which I won - and to my absolute horror, I realised he had STOLEN MY PILLOWS and swapped them for his!
He claims that they were his all along and must have gotten mixed up when the sheets were changed.
I know my own damn pillows!
What would you do? Should I secretly swap them back tonight or exact revenge in some other form.
It's like stealing someone else's shoes fgs.

Oh fuckity fuck fuck fuck

You've all just reminded me that I need to make my bed up 🙇🏻‍♀️

It's all stripped off and been airing.

Can I just sleep on the sofa??

@SewingBeeAddict

That stuff is probably full of testosterone. Don't sleep on it. You will grow a moustache.

Ive got a moustache and a beard .
It must be seeping through the walls

It seeps through everything.

It is like the Alien thingummy's acidic saliva in "Alien".

It will eat through lead.

Now I have silk pillowcases he definitely is not having my pillow.

Good god @littlepinkwinky I have read your post twice and am still snort laughing! What is that grease and where does it come from I honestly don't know, it's like Bisto. And I've drawn a crying face in felt tip on the corner of the duvet where his feet go, because once the duvet got flipped over and I had to sleep under the gruesome bit. It was like spending the night in a polecat's nest

That's just fucking nasty 🤣

the traditional punishment is to wait until they are unconscious get their razor out & shave one eyebrow or half their moustache or beard...

I was so sick of dh nicking my pillows that I treated myself to a £90 dunlopillow to spite him and my god, that thing is a thing of beauty. He likes a Rat Pillow (family term, meaning shit thin lumpy pillow inherited from parents in student days) and mine is so far from rat like it's too comfortable for him.

I have just seen the brown stuff live on TV, caught in real time. Watch the Rudy Giuliani press conference.

Oh I couldn’t sleep on someone else’s pillows. Thinking sweat and drool. I even take my own pillow when I stay somewhere else - I just say I have a problem with my neck. Get them back immediately and write your name on them.