Pillow theft

[justsayso]

Last night my DP switched off the lights really quickly and was all 'goodnight love, see you in the morning'. I settled down as well but realised there was something off immediately, a disturbance in the force if you will. I asked him to turn on the lights back on and he refused, a short scuffle ensued towards the bedside lamp - which I won - and to my absolute horror, I realised he had STOLEN MY PILLOWS and swapped them for his!
He claims that they were his all along and must have gotten mixed up when the sheets were changed.
I know my own damn pillows!
What would you do? Should I secretly swap them back tonight or exact revenge in some other form.
It's like stealing someone else's shoes fgs.

Yep no way would I have let sleeping commence without pillows put to right.

Dh pillows get stinky so fast. There may well be murder if he tried that. I brought myself an amazing Casper pillow which I love. Offered to buy dh one but he said he isnt fussed

I always use duvet cover with pattern across the top so know which way it goes as again dh sweats so much and makes his side stinky.

This thread reminds me of many, many years ago (must have been 16/17) when I stayed in a youth hostel. I was in a shared dormitory and the pillow I had was the thinnest, most awful pillow ever. I'd gone to bed early and most of the beds had still been empty. I couldn't get comfy with the flat pillow. I decided to see if the one on the bunk above me was any better... except I must have fallen asleep for at least a while because on trying to reach for the other pillow (it was dark at this point) I ended up touching someones hair!!! I've never been more mortified in my entire life. Think I ended up bumping up the flat pillow with my coat or clothes...

Anyway... I am very fussy over my pillow height... :o

I'd smother him with it!

@TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince

My dh makes brown juice. I don’t. Why is this?

Mine does too.

It is a Man Thing.

That stuff is probably full of testosterone. Don't sleep on it. You will grow a moustache.

It was like spending the night in a polecat's nest.

PMSL!

It's funny because it's true!

That stuff is probably full of testosterone. Don't sleep on it. You will grow a moustache.

This is SCIENCE and no one will convince me otherwise

I've got a two and a half tonne Kobelco if you want a hole digging.

That stuff is probably full of testosterone. Don't sleep on it. You will grow a moustache.

Ive got a moustache and a beard .
It must be seeping through the walls

Never mind pillow thief cats, Lurchers are the masters.

This is NOT OK

Unacceptable!!!!!!!

New pillows for Christmas

OP, you were BU not to demand the immediate return of your pillows. But, seeing as he has now slept on them, they'll be contaminated with sweaty man-head, and are no longer fit for (your) use. You're going to have to let him keep them, and buy yourself some lovely new ones.

My DH also has brown pillows from his festering sweaty head. Not only that, but he has also torn a hole in a pillow case with his ridiculously sharp stubble. It was, admittedly, an old and worn one, but it was also the cosiest. [rage]

Couldn't help laughing at spending the night in a polecat's nest

Brown head juice has had me crying laughing. As it's so true. I went mad at my DH for rolling onto my clean pillows whilst he had a lie in because "it's nice on your side "
Vile creatures

I wouldn't have let him keep them last night !

He's a twat for knowing what he was doing and treating you like an idiot.

I have one, goose feather filled silk covered pillow. DH hates it. He has 6 - yes 6 - hypoallergenic pillows. He makes a man nest with them and never steals my single pillow. He was however a duvet stealer. We have one each now. He has a 13.5 tog and mine is a nice menopausal 4.5 tog. Lovely.

Snatch the pillow out from under his head!
My DP did this once. As soon as I put my head on HIS pillow I knew it wasn't mine.
It's like one time he made the bed with the button end of the duvet at the top. Shudders.

I’m pulling one back for the Team!
DW insisted on buying two new ‘firm’ feather pillows. We have two pillows each and the decision had been made that we would both sleep better with the new pillows on top and the softer pillows underneath. I have no problems sleeping whatsoever - until the new ‘firm’ pillow made an appearance. After one night I reverted to my old setup. DW then adopted my ‘firm’ pillow as her second. There has been a marked increase in the number of massage visits (when available depending on lockdown) ‘because of my neck’!

Springer who thinks he’s a human.

My DH uses a silk pillowcase, I don’t, I find them too slippy/cold. Easy, just use different pillowcases. Then there can be no surreptitious thefts!

@Brigante9 the Springer is the only one I'd give my pillow to ❤ in my house, one uses her sister as a pillow!

@Brigante9

Springer who thinks he’s a human.

My DH uses a silk pillowcase, I don’t, I find them too slippy/cold. Easy, just use different pillowcases. Then there can be no surreptitious thefts!

Ah... springer is of the same mind as my lurcher.

@harriethoyle That is more common in this house too. Always this way round, never the other. The one on the left likes to have his head up a height on the arm of the bed, he’s the one on the pillow in the other pic. Brothers who adore each other.

This thread has re-affirmed my decision to spend the last 20 years sleeping in separate bedrooms.

I swear there were points as I scrolled down that my stomach did a little flip 🤢