Pillow theft

[justsayso]

Last night my DP switched off the lights really quickly and was all 'goodnight love, see you in the morning'. I settled down as well but realised there was something off immediately, a disturbance in the force if you will. I asked him to turn on the lights back on and he refused, a short scuffle ensued towards the bedside lamp - which I won - and to my absolute horror, I realised he had STOLEN MY PILLOWS and swapped them for his!
He claims that they were his all along and must have gotten mixed up when the sheets were changed.
I know my own damn pillows!
What would you do? Should I secretly swap them back tonight or exact revenge in some other form.
It's like stealing someone else's shoes fgs.

@Hoppinggreen

DH went upstairs for a nap earlier (clearly thinks he’s a toddler) and now my pillow smells like horrid sweaty man head I’m not happy

🤮

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates this. I had "the chat" about not sharing pillows again this morning. I threatened to do horrible things to his pillows if he takes mine again. It's a lack of respect imo. I appreciate this is probably light-hearted but it really grates on me and I get mightily pissed off with him when he takes mine.

My dh says he hates memory foam one but he’s always trying to get my tempur one.

Blimey, my old man had better not try this. His pillows are covered in some sort of brown juice, like his head leaks. Mine are lovely.

I can send my cat to assist - she is an expert at pillow stealing. First she has knocked my pillow off to go in its place then she decided one pillow space really isn't enough for a cat and starts using her bum to knock DH's pillow off as well and she succeeded and got the whole of the pillow space to herself.

What a monster. You think you know someone...

My husband is a pillow folder/masher too. I don’t get it.

@ChristopherLillicrap

Should I secretly swap them back tonight or exact revenge in some other form.

Both.

Totally this!

There is something very personal about pillows, and I have had many an argument with DH about this.

He thinks that any pillow is ok, as long as you have your preferred number of pillows (2 each in this house).

I firmly maintain that he keeps his own pillows to himself, as they are

a) nt as comfortable as mine, as I get up first and fluff mine up before leaving the bedroom (he is still in his pit for at least another hour, and leaves his pillows in what can only be described as "a state"

b) full of his sweat, drool, snot, earwax and whatever other bodily secretions drip out of his head overnight. Yes- the pillowcases and protectors are frequently washed but that is not the point. There may be ooze dripping into the fabric of the pillow itself. I will keep my own "ooze" thank you very much, and he can keep his.

Make him suffer OP, and if necessary - get yourself new pillows. You don't have to put up with this.

I'd mark the pillows with our initials, then do something petty that would irritate him. Maybe mismatch all his socks...

Why did he prefer your pillows? Are his worn out? Maybe it's time to buy new pillows, but he was very very wrong to have tried to take yours. There are some lines you just don't cross.

Separate rooms.
Kingsize bed to myself.
No man smells, mess or pillow theft
Bliss

full of his sweat, drool, snot, earwax and whatever other bodily secretions drip out of his head overnight. Yes- the pillowcases and protectors are frequently washedbut that is not the point. There may beoozedripping into the fabric of the pillow itself. I will keep my own "ooze" thank you very much, and he can keep his

This should be read out at weddings😂😂😂

You can do no wrong in how you respond.

My pillows are distinct and DH tries this all the time... it’s not happening mate

Smother him with the pillows. That’ll learn him!

That sounds so bliddy tempting SewingBee

I have slept in the spare room a couple of times when FH has had a cough, and it is bliss, despite all of the dogs joining me on a single bed, because at least no-one steals the duvet.

LTB

@SewingBeeAddict

full of his sweat, drool, snot, earwax and whatever other bodily secretions drip out of his head overnight. Yes- the pillowcases and protectors are frequently washedbut that is not the point. There may beoozedripping into the fabric of the pillow itself. I will keep my own "ooze" thank you very much, and he can keep his

This should be read out at weddings😂😂😂

Please feel free to add this to the service.

It might fit into some funeral services too -

"X was a good, loving and considerate husband, and kept all of his bodily fluids on his side of the bed, including his sweat, drool, snot, earwax etc which he never allowed to intrude on his wife's pillow . . . "

Good god @littlepinkwinky I have read your post twice and am still snort laughing!
What is that grease and where does it come from

@SilkieRabbits

I can send my cat to assist - she is an expert at pillow stealing. First she has knocked my pillow off to go in its place then she decided one pillow space really isn't enough for a cat and starts using her bum to knock DH's pillow off as well and she succeeded and got the whole of the pillow space to herself.

Yes I thought this was a thread about cats and their sneaky ability to steal pillows. In fact my cat has been renamed to Pillow Thief. At the moment a temperature seems to be one of the prime symptoms of COVID - of course I have a temperature I have had a cat sleeping around my head all night. It is a real battle. So (notsoD)H's can jog off too.

@custardbear

Sharpie maker pen is your friend

Oh I say, drawing knobs on his head would be a step too far....or would it?

Oh I say, drawing knobs on his head would be a step too far....or would it?

Not for a moment - it is inspired and I wish I had thought of it.

I too have named the pillows in this house. This is the way.
No more disturbances in the force

I can’t stop laughing at “ brown juice” 😂

My dh makes brown juice. I don’t. Why is this?

I would have taken them back immediately. No one, not even my beloved DH, is allowed to rest their head on my perfectly curated pillows.

There are plenty of spares in the house anyone is welcome to choose from. B

WHAT IS THE BROWN JUICE?! I don't even like changing the pillow case on DHs pillow because of the urk....

If I am away for the night my pillow is removed from the bed to take temptation away from him...I'm sure he'd sleep like a baby on my lovely non-brown-urky-substance-stained pillows....

@justsayso

Good god *@littlepinkwinky* I have read your post twice and am still snort laughing! What is that grease and where does it come from

I honestly don't know, it's like Bisto. And I've drawn a crying face in felt tip on the corner of the duvet where his feet go, because once the duvet got flipped over and I had to sleep under the gruesome bit. It was like spending the night in a polecat's nest.