To be upset with my partner

[silvertogold]

We have an 16 mo little one. Our bedtime routine is always the same. I go upstairs and bath little one, my other half will do his bottle then come up when he's ready for bed and give him his bottle.

Today I asked if we should now consider moving him off formula at night time (he was low weight so we were advised to keep the formula for now and then slowly decrease by 1oz every month and replace with blue top milk. Recently he has now taken to eating really well and maintained his weight which we are thrilled with.) to which my partner said oh he's been off it for a month now.

I'm heartbroken, I feel this is a big milestone and I've missed it and the fact he didn't even discuss it with me hurts.

He says I am being unreasonable and there is no need to be annoyed with him over it because it doesn't mean anything. To me though that's a whole chapter of babyhood gone.

Is this me being unreasonable or do I have reason to be upset?

Ummmm weird OH didn’t mention it, also weird to be upset by it..!

With the best will in the world OP, it’s not a big milestone. It’s just a different kind of milk. If your LO has done as well as this with the blue top cow’s milk that’s great and shows it hasn’t done any harm.

This is not the hill you want to die on.

But still having a bottle? Still got a baby there then.

Your partner should have mentioned it, but considering this a "big milestone" is just odd. It's really, really not.

YANBU to be upset at milestones, however I don't think this is as big a deal as you think. Think of it as a step to your beautiful DS becoming more independent. My DS turns 2 next week and it's flown by.

So he still has a bottle but it's cow's milk rather than formula? I couldn't get worked up over this.

I accidentally did this to my DH. I didn't do it deliberately, I just realised that I hadn't discussed it all when DH asked where the perfect prep machine had gone!

You are going to need to toughen up, you have at least 20 years ahead with milestones, some will happen when you aren't there, or aware of it.

To my mind, if it can happen without you noticing, then it's not a milestone.

I'd be more concerned about why your DH didn't mention it with you, seeing as you were advised by a doctor to decrease a certain way.

I wouldn’t see it as a milestone. I would be really cross with such a significant change to my child’s diet happening without a discussion.

To clarify he drinks from a sippy cup since about 11 months so no bottles per say.

To me coming off of formula completely was a milestone for me. I feel that it's well and truly the end of the baby chapter.

YABU for taking it out in you Dp, he likely didn't realise it was a thing for you.

YANBU for feeling like it's a milestone, prehaps it was, but you do need to let this go, there's so many other milestones to come. I have 50/50 co-parenting with my ex, since DC was 2, I have missed so many milestone moments (dc is 6 now) that I've had to toughen up on these things, but there's so many more wonderful things in DC life I will be "there" for. Honestly, dont waste time being upset, parenting is a long journey, there's so much more to look forward to.

Let this one go, op. You're only upsetting yourself and your happy home.

I think you're getting worked up about the wrong thing here. Your husband made what is essentially a medical decision about your child without consulting you.

Oh dear op, unless there is a really huge backstory, yabvvvvvu and need to find some big girl pants. Pick your hills to die on very carefully.

Yabu. The milestones are first having solids, walking, talking etc not what sort of milk they drink.

It's a bit weird that it wasn't mentioned. I'd concentrate on getting rid of the bottle next, they're not really recommended after 12 months. They're bad for toddlers teeth.

It’s not a milestone. You’re being PFB. Don’t worry op we all have our moments but cut your DP some slack, he was just making a parental decision. It’s actually good to hear he’s using his initiative. My husband is a brilliant dad but he wouldn’t ever make that decision without me, I wish he would I’d be happy for him to!

Pick your battles OP, pick your battles. Otherwise parenthood is going to be a tough slog!

Had you stopped buying formula milk? Was night time the only time he had formula?

How come you didnt realise? Apart from partner doing his bottle, didnt you notice there was no formula tins/cartons about??

@39weekswithno2 he's on a sippy cup blue just still refer to it as his night time bottle. Sorry should've been clearer.

@nimbuscloud we still had a whole one in the cupboard and we're working our way down the open one. It's only the fact that I started the conversation of we seem to be getting near the bottom of this one do we open the new one to see us through the next month or so of do we stop him now to which he replied oh well he's not been having it. And yes it was only his night 'bottle'

@HomeSchoolerNewbie carton on the side also I was still sterilising his cup every morning so as far as I was concerned everything was still occurring!

If you can't tell it happened as a patent, it's really not milestone worthy. It's even lower down the totem pole than switching to big girl pants.

YABVU. It isn't a milestone.

@dontlikebeards

So he still has a bottle but it's cow's milk rather than formula? I couldn't get worked up over this.

Me too.