To think calling 25/26 year olds lady is quite odd

[Fedupwiththis70]

I just feel that woman is more suitable for younger people. Lady I always think of as at least 40. Recently heard someone call a woman at work that lady with the blonde hair not even a young lady just lady. The woman is 25/26. Don’t know if it’s just my views though.

I think you must be confused with 'old lady' and are now associating 'lady' with an older woman.

That doesn’t bother me at all. What does bother me is 40 year olds being referred to as ‘girls’. Or when my old (female and patronising) boss used to refer to me and the other woman as girls when she wanted to feel important. I am a professional not a girl.

@ProudAuntie76

There is probably a feminist issue there, why is it a bit blunt to say 'that woman', but just normal to say 'that man' ?

I think it’s because with the exception of “The Bad Man”, “The x Woman” has been repeatedly used in really negative, derogatory ways...

“THAT woman” (Camilla Parker Bowles, Hilary Clinton etc etc)

“The OTHER woman”

“Stupid Woman”

“Nasty Woman”

Woman has been villified. Was anyone else brought up to think that “she” was rude?

I’d regularly getting a beating for saying “she left it on the stair” or “she said I could have my sweets now” about my Aunts. “Who’s SHE?! The CAT’s MOTHER?!” - wallop. And I was never using it in a rude way, it’s just that “she” was some sort of a forbidden word. Oddly never got a clip round the ear for “he”...

Same and I never understood the issue with "she" she is the woman I'm referring to, its correct grammar, you are a "she"!

To me, woman does sound rude. Just the way things were when I was growing up I guess (I'm 51)

❌Mind you don't get in the woman's way

✅ Mind you don't get in the lady's way

Objectively woman should be fine, as man is fine but it just sounds/feels rude to me.

• other woman on our tea.

I wish we could edit

Who’s she? The cat’s mother? is reserved for when someone goes straight to “she” without saying the person’s name. Often with pointing. That’s what’s rude.

“Why are you eating a sweet?”
“She said I could”

Instead of “Aunty Betty said I could” or “Granny said it was OK”.

Lady is fine, it doesn't have age connotation. Young lady however is extremely patronising.

I used to get really uncomfortable when people would refer to me as lady when I was a teen. I was 13-14 but looked a bit older due to a large bust I think. Stuff like when toddlers are meandering along the path (always hated that) and go on collision courses with seemingly no care "Oh! watch the Lady!" their mums would shout.

I felt like the world was trying to force me to grow up too fast as I had older peers asking me gross stuff like "Do you spit or swallow?" When I told them I was underage and hated the idea of oral they said "Well guys won't like you if you don't." That and I was getting sexual harassment that no one took seriously. Penned in an alley and mooned by a group of about 7 older boys. When I told my mum she laughed and said "Oh you just got mooned."

Its no wonder I went with a very considerate person who panics if they accidentally touch my chest when hugging me.

When I was growing up it was considered really rude to refer to any adult female as a woman (in conversation) as it was not polite. As children we were always told off if we referred to someone as a woman - we were only allowed to say "lady". So, most people of my generation will always use the term "lady" in public as we would feel quite wrong and vaguely insulting to do otherwise. Likewise, if I am being very polite in front of an unknown elderly male, I will refer to him to a third party as "this gentleman". Younger people probably think I'm mad but when you are older, much of your current terminology/code of behaviour will be considered peculiar too.

I say lady. Woman sounds blunt, a bit crude. As in, "Do you know Mary? She's the lady with the twins in Year 2." "Do you see that lady over there with the blue jacket?"

Sometimes I might say woman in those contexts, but only with someone I know very well or if I was judging someone. :P "Did you SEE that woman with the hair?"

If I'm talking with the children, I would definitely always say lady (in the sort of "teaching manners by osmosis" kind of way).

How about 'wench' OP, would that be better?

@Maireas

Would you really use "gentleman", EyeDrops? So you'd say "the gentleman asked us to stand here" referring to a male shop assistant?

Absolutely, I’ve often when talking another shop assistant “the previous gentleman recommended this ....” or if I’ve noticed a previous customer has left their wallet I’ll say “sorry the gentleman has left his wallet”

Even speaking to my colleagues if I’ve taken a phone call “the gentleman called to check what time the event is ...”

The same way as I’d say lady

Ok. Fair enough. I just say man and woman. I'm nearly 61 and always found it strange that "woman" is crude or impolite.

@mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork

When I was growing up it was considered really rude to refer to any adult female as a woman (in conversation) as it was not polite. As children we were always told off if we referred to someone as a woman - we were only allowed to say "lady". So, most people of my generation will always use the term "lady" in public as we would feel quite wrong and vaguely insulting to do otherwise. Likewise, if I am being very polite in front of an unknown elderly male, I will refer to him to a third party as "this gentleman". Younger people probably think I'm mad but when you are older, much of your current terminology/code of behaviour will be considered peculiar too.

I wonder if it is an age thing though...I don’t think it is.

I’m only in my 30s and think “the woman” sounds blunt and rude. I’d say lady or gentleman as it definitely sounds more polite.

I’m a bit bemused wondering if eventually the “ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls” you often hear at live entertainment (concerts, pantos, circus etc) will eventually be replaced with “women and men, male children and female children”...it’s probably more complicated than that even ( “people with uteruses”, “non-binary people” etc).

‘Ladies and gentleman’ is just a polite, formal way of saying ‘Women and Men’.

Age has nothing to do with it.

it's quite common for toilets to be labelled 'Ladies' or 'Gents', likewise to refer to a group of adult men and women as 'Ladies & Gents'.

I do think there is something a bit rude to refer to "that woman" as opposed to "that lady". Likewise "that man" to "that gentleman" or gent.

At school we weren’t allowed to use woman as it was considered very rude, we had to use lady instead, or if addressing directly ma’am.

Woman and man sound very blunt, lady and gentleman sound much better. Ladies/gentlemen can also be used to address a group, women/men wouldn’t be a suitable way to address a group.

How about "Good evening, everyone"?

“”The lady that was sitting over there served me”

“The woman that was sitting over there served me”

Imo no difference whatsoever. Anyone over the age of 18 could be referred to in any of the two situations....

EleanorOalike

I am glad to hear it might not be only my generation, then. Yes, I think "woman" sounds blunt and rude too and it makes me wince to hear other people say it.

Also a bit confused about how “mister”
Works?

“Mind the mister!”

“The mister over there” ???

It’s not one I’d ever heard of. I try not to say young or old lady as it’s rude to define someone by age but I’d disagree that young lady/man is for tweens and teens. It’s for young adult women and men. Tweens and teens are boys and girls. Younger, young or little boys and girls.

I much prefer lady to girl, old girl, bint, bitch or a thousand other awful names. I could never get upset at being called lady.

I think "that lady" sounds fine but " that woman" sounds rude whatever the age.

Teenage and preteen girls are young ladies.
Oddly enough, I'd call them young women. I have no strong feelings about 'lady' or 'woman' but sometimes 'woman' does sound rude, particularly as a pp said 'old woman' has different connotations to 'old lady'.