To not be sure how we never have any bloody money?!

[ThePinkGuitar]

I know lots of friends that earn the same or bit less that get to have holidays aboard, lots of days out beautiful home.
We are nearly at the end of renovating our house but no money to finish it off. Dh earns 40k plus does lots of side jobs so probably on average another £150 pm. I earn 28k (22.5 hours pro rota).
We have 2 children never have been able to take them on fancy trips. We don’t wear expensive clothes, no cosmetic costs (dye my own hair and use Rimmel make up lol).
We have an average car, pay 1k a month mortgage. We spend a lot of groceries.
But seriously where is all the money going I genuinely do not understand?!

I disagree that a family of four can eat on £75/week. Sure anything is possible, but I think £125-150 is a more reasonable goal, especially if all meals are at home and they aren’t having take away and meals out regularly.

Goodness, no. £100 a week would be generous, and it's half what the OP is currently spending. She could save loads!

I mean, I feel that's doable and an achievable target for the OP. £75 is maybe a bit tight and would be too much of a shock to the system.

Definitely look at all you bills and see where you can cut down or change suppliers, I changed gas and electric supplier fairly recently saving £50 a month. You can spend a lot without even realising, today alone I left a £5 for my teenagers to get bread and milk, it was my turn for the work coffees for three so that’s another £5, I fancied baileys so bought myself a bottle that’s £12, £5 for travel and teens asked if I could get marshmallows and squirty cream for hot chocolate so another £3, so I spent £30 on not much and £25 more than I needed to spend.

Seriously.

The mortgage is very high.

Mmmm, probably the interest on yoir credit cards from the sounds of it

Empressofthemundane I agree! I think posts on £60/£70 pw food are small .esp if people are not eating out at all!

@ssd what a sad bitter and nasty individual you are- she’s asking for help. If you can’t make it just a few cm out of your bottom to give that then go back to your hole and shush.

1k a month is what I’d consider a big mortgage, perhaps your friends have received inheritance. I’d look at putting your debt on the mortgage to reduce the cost of it, also, chop up the credit cards they’re too tempting otherwise

YABU in that you can do a budget and spending audit to find out.

We, like a lot of people have needed to reduce our outgoings this year. We earn a lot less a year than you and were struggling.
We pay for nearly everything with cards or direct debit / standing order and I sat down with our bank statements and worked out what we spent.
I was so shocked at our food bill. Big shops at he supermarket once a week but also so many top up shops. It was the biggest bill by a mile. Even more than our mortgage.
We have two hungry kids do we wrote a 4 week meal plan and we stick to it. Occasionally we might buy milk or bread but other than that, we are strict. I also signed up with Look after my bills and saved a load on energy bills. We changed lots of things like house insurance etc.
We were frittering so much away. Try it 😀

I’ve been in a similar situation recently and realised I have never budgeted properly, I was basically looking at my spending in the eyes of others, they can afford it so surely so we can?! Obviously that seems ridiculous now I’ve said it out loud and I looked through 4 months of statements and created a budget- basically month by month I wasn’t including gifts and extras that weren’t necessarily a monthly outgoing. I’ve now tried to include everything, it turns out we’re spending £300-500 a month on all the extras!! I used the budget planner on Money Savings Expert, it really helped me!

Hey OP, I use a programme called YNAB to budget and track my spending: it's not free but it is affordable and it works really well as it forces you to account for every penny and categorise every spend - the reason I pay a little for YNAB is simply that it does most of the hard work for me so all I have to do is input what I've spent without taking much time. As others have said it sounds like you need to log your spending, work out where you can make savings and then stick to the budget :-)

I think people are being a bit mean to @ssd pretty sure what they meant was that there are people really struggling to get by at the moment, maybe them themselves and there does seem to be a lot of these threads about at the moment where people are moaning about having no money on a decent salary or worrying about having only £1000 left after mortgage bills and food. Some of the responses to her comment have been

@SandysMam

I think people are being a bit mean to *@ssd* pretty sure what they meant was that there are people really struggling to get by at the moment, maybe them themselves and there does seem to be a lot of these threads about at the moment where people are moaning about having no money on a decent salary or worrying about having only £1000 left after mortgage bills and food. Some of the responses to her comment have been

Absolutely this. I'm sure people on higher incomes do struggle, but it does jar a bit when someone on double or triple what I manage on complains its not enough.

Do people really think 1k is a big mortgage? I guess most who do are over 40 & not in London.

That surprised me too @peepercountry

Ours is £1000 and we have a tiny 2 bed cottage

It could easily have been more

I don't see why you should have to pull a thread because other people are upset by your earnings. Would people prefer OP to be poor?.
I don't believe the OP has bragged just stating income so people can have a perspective and offer advice.
Your income is very high just poorly managed. I find the more some people have the less they keep track. Set yourself money aside each month and keep to a budget.
Track your spending and you will see where it is going on and how much 'shit bits' you're actually buying.

All the little bits add up! Keep a diary as others have suggested - it's a real eye opener! I was spending £25 a month on stupid magazines for DD! Shocker!

Work out how muchh yr house nets each month. Take away what has to be paid in mortgage and bills only. Whatever u have left, put half in a savings account. Dont dip into it unless u have to. Trust me that its the best way to try to cut back and decide if u actually need things. I used to do this for years, a very good way of cutting back and saving. It will at least show u where the money is going ....

Also 1k for a mortgage?! I pay nearly that in rent for a 2 bed flat

Get a kakebo - it’s really helped me to understand where my money goes and therefore how to cut costs. It’s fun to fill in too!
Just look on Amazon, there are quite a few on there...

Ok...had a wee google - isn't kakebo simply a fancified version of having a budget and keeping a "cash" book? Am I missing something?

@Onedropbeat my is more & will bf even higher in the future.