To not be sure how we never have any bloody money?!

[ThePinkGuitar]

I know lots of friends that earn the same or bit less that get to have holidays aboard, lots of days out beautiful home.
We are nearly at the end of renovating our house but no money to finish it off. Dh earns 40k plus does lots of side jobs so probably on average another £150 pm. I earn 28k (22.5 hours pro rota).
We have 2 children never have been able to take them on fancy trips. We don’t wear expensive clothes, no cosmetic costs (dye my own hair and use Rimmel make up lol).
We have an average car, pay 1k a month mortgage. We spend a lot of groceries.
But seriously where is all the money going I genuinely do not understand?!

Re your grocery bill, dont just look at what you are buying, look at what you are binning. Meal planning will cut down any wastage (so long as you stick to the plan).

If people are feeling pissed off about erosion of earnings/low income/cost of living rises/rising unemployment (which certainly is something to be pissed off about) I feel you’re directing your anger at the wrong person - it’s not the OP’s fault.

I'm only annoyed really that's she asked where all her money goes when it's so bloody obvious and then complains about not having holidays or nice things like her friends do. That is completely her fault, well hers and her husbands. They could afford holidays and nice things, but they spend way beyond what they can afford and still expect to have it all. They can't if they keep spending like this and never will. By all means, do that, but don't whine about it. It's their choice not to solve the problem.

Yikes 110 on a tv package !! Just have netflix and free view!

Tell your husband to start bringing lunch to work with him from home! 10£ a day is a lot!

You wonder how others with similar incomes to you manage - I’d say they aren’t renovating their houses for a start

Once that’s down and the debts paid off then you should be in a better position?

[quote peepercountry]@VulvaPerson well £80-90 is different to £60 😁. We spend £100 some weeks, £150 others.
[/quote]
Yeah, was a bit of a daft moment that, I never factor in the 'top up' shopping when totting things up..

@ThePinkGuitar

Where do you do your grocery shop? Do you have things like sky, expensive mobile phone contracts? You seem to have a lot going on at once finically £110 on virgin tv pm plus Netflix and prime? Dh does Asda shop once a week which is £100 but then there’s little top ups here and there myself in Sainsbury’s I’ve spent £65 last week £70 week before not on main shop but top up and a xmas present here and there. So over £200 easily a week on groceries 😯 will be cutting that right down. That’s lockdown typical rather than our usual normal though- no going out for meals so we are having more treats than usual. Dh has a couple of coffees and snacks from drive throughs on working days so a tenner daily I’d say? No childcare cost but both kids do swimming lessons, karate and dance usually so that adds up too- but I wouldn’t want to change that.

groceries are pretty high and it seems maybe topups are causing alot more expenditure. You can try and curb that by meal planning the last Sunday before payday and shopping to top up the cupboards to fit the plan. Tops ups should really be things like bread and milk which wouldn't equate to anywhere near as much. I have to say if I was in as much debt as you are, the Virgin tv would go. It just isn't necessary especially as you have Netflix. We heavily watch Netflix - there's plenty there for such a reasonable monthly cost that we have never felt the need to have any tv package beyond it. We do have amazon prime for deliveries as it works out cheaper for us and of course that comes with tv shows etc too. More than enough.

Over £100 on TV we earn double your household income and I can't even imagine ever spending that much! Is that normal?

No I can’t imagine it is

Most people have freeview and possibly Netflix

I can t imagine spending that on a tv package no matter how much we earned. £1200 a year to watch tv!

£10 A DAY on food for work is absolute insanity! Some people feed a family of 3/4 on £50 a week. Not saying you should have to but just to put it into perspective. I’d be so unimpressed with my husband if he tried that (and he earns double my income and more).

£110 on TV and £150 pw on food. That's where your money is going OP!!!

Our income is approx £8k below yours.

2 adults and two young kids, food £60pw (often less but that's an average over a month. TV is freeview plus amazon. Similar mortgage to you. What's your council tax?

You need to reign it in, clear your debts as quickly as possible. Interest on those costs loads.

Thank you all been a massive wake up call!
Council tax 240 pm

Same council tax here.

Get your utilities as low as possible. Turn stuff off.

Do you run a tumble drier? If so, get washing outside as much as possible and finish off in the drier.

What's in your TV package out of curiosity?!

@ThePinkGuitar

Where do you do your grocery shop? Do you have things like sky, expensive mobile phone contracts? You seem to have a lot going on at once finically £110 on virgin tv pm plus Netflix and prime? Dh does Asda shop once a week which is £100 but then there’s little top ups here and there myself in Sainsbury’s I’ve spent £65 last week £70 week before not on main shop but top up and a xmas present here and there. So over £200 easily a week on groceries 😯 will be cutting that right down. That’s lockdown typical rather than our usual normal though- no going out for meals so we are having more treats than usual. Dh has a couple of coffees and snacks from drive throughs on working days so a tenner daily I’d say? No childcare cost but both kids do swimming lessons, karate and dance usually so that adds up too- but I wouldn’t want to change that.

Well that's where your money's going! You're just spunking money away on worthless junk. £110 just for tv plus Netflix plus Amazon Prime You're spending around about a grand a month on food.

Try Lidl or Aldi for food, even if you only get some things from there and get other bits from Asda., there can be massive savings.

Look up cheap recipes and try out some of them and make enough for leftovers for lunch. If you have the oven on, can you cook something on wasted shelves? I make mini crumbles with apples past their best and wrap in tinfoil and freeze, or breakfast flapjacks on the bottom of the oven when cooking a Sunday dinner.

DH scrimped and saved for years to get our mortgage cleared and I had debt before I met him, but all the changing backs, only having one old car, cheap days out, no takeaways, meals out, coffees from Costa, it was well worth it in the end.

A lot of colleagues would think I was mad for not getting a Costa coffee on my way to work or at lunch with a sandwich from M&S and not getting a BMW when I got a promotion but making a few sacrifices can be well worth it.

We still had fun and we found amazing walks to do with a picnic and we had a National trust pass so used that a lot. Some of the ideas we still do like using all the oven shelves and making crumbles.

I also urge you to check all your direct debts as some can be yearly.

Your spending is drastically out of line with your earnings.

For comparison, I spend about £110/month on Virgin tv/broadband/Netflix/NowTV. Our spending on food pre-Covid was probably around £200/week but that includes eating out 2-3 times a week on top of groceries. It’s excessive, but my household income is about 4 times yours.

You’re living so beyond your means that you’ll never get out of debt unless you have a serious overhaul of your finances and curb your spending.

Going on holidays should not be bottom of your priority list until you get your debt and spending sorted.

Actually OP, now you've taken stock and seem determined to sort your finances out, this could be quite exciting!

With a few adjustments that will make little difference to your lifestyle, you could quickly reduce your debts and be able to afford to finish your renovations.

Once you get into a budgeting style that works for you (I use YNAB) it can be quite addictive.

How does everyone on Mumsnet know what all their friends earn? I don't have a clue! It wouldn't cross my mind to ask. And my salary has essentially doubled over the past few years and I haven't mentioned it to anyone, still drive the same (tiny) car etc

I've no idea how much any of my friends earn but from their spending I assume it's a lot more than me!!

My Ddad died last year and when his estate is finalised we will be able to pay off our mortgage. I plan to save most of the money we would have spent on the mortgage for holidays (currently we mainly do a caravan holiday) and for if our kids want to go to uni, so our day to day spending probably wont change. It will be nice to be able to pay for school trips or afterschool clubs straight away rather than in instalments though.

Cancel your TV package and TV license (£160 per year).

Get broadband (i pay £20 a month from Virgin) plus Netflix £5.99 a month. You can watch Channel 4, Sky news and ITV using the internet service, Netflix has loads of good programmes including BBC ones, just much cheaper.

110 is not just for tv surely - broadband and phone package too?

Nobody spends 110 just on a tv package do they?

Netflix gets boring the first couple of months.

You both need to be on board with cutting down and clearing that debt. Substitute some stuff, it's easier than giving up Eg Contigo travel mug and Haro V60 coffee filter for husband, and a multipack of snacks from the supermarket, kept in the car.

With TV packages, chop and change. We always have Amazon prime and we pay for one more on rotation. Basic Now TV, OR Netflix, OR Britbox. When you get a bit bored of one, switch. We occasionally splash out on sports channels for particular competitions but you can get them on Now for a very limited time.

Always keep frozen pizzas in for days you can't be arsed to cook. Save takeaways for treats, don't waste your "quota" on days you feel crap anyway.

@switswooo

Netflix gets boring the first couple of months.

So you switch around, Now TV, Prime etc. Also never pay full price for broadband, there's always a deal.

We had Virgin fibre broadband including landline, because the mobile phone signal in this house is crap, on an initial deal of £25 pm for 18 months.

At the end of the term it would have gone up to £49 pm so I rang up and asked if they had any deals to stay and was immediately offered £28 pm for another 18 months. No need to drive a hard bargain, just one easy 5 minute phone call. I could have saved a few more quid by switching to another supplier but couldn't be bothered with that.

Plus we also have the TV licence because we do watch BBC, Netflix and Now TV movies, again on a long term deal at £6 pm. So a total of £55 pm (hundreds of pounds a year less than the OP) for superfast fibre broadband and far more TV than we could ever watch.

I've never been able to get a discount on Netflix, but Now TV always offer deals so we don't currently pay for their entertainment package but when we do it's never full price. You just log into your account and tell them you want to cancel and you get the deal.

Yawn. Another family on over 60k money about money. Mn at its finest.

Yea I'm getting quite sick of these too.

More than happy to advise and help those genuinely struggling but op you clearly aren't you're just overspending somewhere.

And what does "never have any bloody money" actually mean in real terms to you? "Only" hundreds in the bank plus some savings? Or is there actually no money at the end of your month?

If it's the former - get a grip, you're a lot better off than many families especially at the moment when so many are losing jobs

If it's the latter - get a grip and stop being irresponsible spenders!

Eg rimmel makeup is NOT cheap (it used to be it hasn't been for years) and makeup at all is a luxury anyway

That you have the debt you have combined with your flippant and tone deaf comments suggest to me you need a dose of reality!

110 on virgin tv pm plus Netflix and prime?

Ridiculous and irresponsible considering you're in debt. I'll never understand even if a person has the money getting extortionately expensive sky/virgin packages they're a rip off!

I'm less than £40 pcm for broadband, phone and tv/streaming and if I'm honest I don't really need £17 of that but I'm housebound and don't spend elsewhere on luxuries and the prime membership I do make the most of as I also use the included "free" delivery, "free" reading materials, music etc too

Think you'd benefit from watching a few episodes of "eat well for less" too - free on iPlayer

Maybe volunteering at local food bank for perspective?

£10 a day on coffee etc while out at work even assuming mon-fri and 4 weeks annual leave = £2400 A year!

Sounds like you and dh need a huge wake up call!

I could save you probably (rough estimate based on your posts and my experience of living on a tight budget) £5-£10k a year without a hugely noticeable lifestyle change.

The MSE experts who are even more savvy I reckon you could save up to £15k on outgoings if you were willing to compromise a little

A couple of other things that haven't really been mentioned - how much are your 'average cars' costing you?

If you have car payments, that can add up to a lot, hundreds of pounds a month, so a big chunk out of your income.

For days out, annual passes can be a good way of saving money if there are certain places you like to go. These often cost less than just a few single entries, so can be a huge saving.

Also don't buy food there as a matter of routine (same goes for food and drink out of the house in general, your DHs tenner a day on coffee and lunch being a classic example) but it could easily cost £30 or more for a cafe lunch at an attraction, usually for poor quality food, so don't do it. Take a picnic, or eat at home some of the time.

@Jroseforever

Your answer is in your OP!

Renovation
Lots on groceries
In debt
Fairly sizeable mortgage payment

This. I'm not sure why you're surprised.

I will say it was an eyeopener for me when I was paying down debt to write down everything I bought - every little thing - and tally it up at the end of the month. It is about changing your behaviour where you can without becoming miserable with it.