Never get to finish my snacks

[SnackyLady]

Bit of a lighthearted one (but I'm also a bit annoyed!)

So sometimes in the evenings me and DH will have snacks after dinner, like some biscuits or some crisps or something. Not every night but some evenings as a treat.

Whenever we buy snacks we each specifically buy what we want for ourselves. So if I want chocolate I will get the type of chocolate I want and won't share that. Same with DH, he will get what he wants and I would not have any of that because it was for him if that makes sense. So we both have our individual snacks and that's fine. A lot of the time I won't finish all of mine, for example the other day I really fancied some Doritos, had about half a bag and then put it away.

Also worth noting that DH stays up later than me by a few hours.

The problem is the next day / evening I'll be thinking ooh lovely I've got crisps left I'll have one now and they're all gone because DH has eaten the rest of mine after I've gone to bed.

It's just annoying to me that I never get to eat all my snacks? I bought the crisps for me to eat. Don't get me wrong I don't begrudge him food, but if he wanted Doritos then he should have said and he could have had his own bag. This has happened a few times and it's just irritating me that none of my snacks will last until the next day.

Am I justified in being irritated by this?

@SockDrawer

Why do think this is only a man problem, im sure women do exactly the same Unfortunately I’m sure there are greedy, selfish women out there, just as there are men. But in this situation it’s a man. And in most cases of PP saying their partners do it too; they’ve explicitly said husbands.

Well MN has a far higher proportion of female posters than male.

YABVVVVU not to just tell him. You don't have to embarrass him, just say "I'm not finishing these so I'll put them away and have them tomorrow."

Why wouldn't you share

@LizaE how is it sharing if the OP gets half of her choice and her DH gets all of his choice plus half of hers?

We have snack boxes to stop this happening (and to stop the kids all wanting snacks at the same time just because someone else is having one). Anything in the cupboard is fair game and communal, but anything in an individual's box is not to be touched.

Though I'd be pretty pissed off at having to do something like that to protect my snacks from another adult.

Never mind embarassing him, point out that he's eating all of his snacks and half of yours.

I voted YABU only because at no point have you said you him, “Please don’t eat snacks I haven’t finished that I’ve put away without asking. I’m saving them and it’s really annoying when I go to them and they’ve gone. If I don’t want them I’ll offer them to you.”
If he does it after that then kill him.

@Marcipex

Doritos -once opened they’re fair game. Same for Wotsits, Cheddars, Pringles.

Nope.

But why should she have to tell him she doesn't want him to eat her snacks? Shouldn't he assume she wants them later unless told otherwise?

She said in the OP that they each choose their own things and it's not unreasonable to not eat a large bag of doritos all in one go.

He could at the very least asked if he could have some, left her some, or replaced them straight away if he'd finished them off.

Instead she's faced with the choice of starting from the assumption that he's a selfish greedy fucker and having to ask him to not be one or missing out finishing off her own bag of snacks.

haven't said anything about it because I don't want to embarrass him.

That is just ridiculous. Communicate with him and ask him not to finish your snacks!!

I have a snack shelf comprised of low calorie treats ( am on a diet) that I work into my calorie allowance. Woe betide any member of my family who helps themselves to these without my permission. TBF they have better snacks available but still.

OP why on earth haven't you said anything. I'd be really pissed off if someone kept eating my food. Just tell him!

Also meant to add that if my partner repeatedly finished my snacks I'd expect them to go to the shop and replace them that evening.

"Going to bed now, I'd like yo save these Doritos for tomorrow, so please don't eat them."

Grow a spine, ffs!

I knew that pointing out all the men on this thread are being total dicks would get backs up

@NiceGerbil

I knew that pointing out all the men on this thread are being total dicks would get backs up

Well yes, sexism has a tendency to do that.

I would be furious and tell him straight. If he wants some he either gets himself some or he asks first

How is this funny? It's not. Just tell him.

We don’t have his and her food that we don’t share. I find it quite odd It isn't about having his and hers snacks though, they buy what they really like. Just because you're a couple doesn't mean you have to have the same taste in food does it. And there are couples where one has an allergy so when their partner eats their snacks they're left with nothing.

Just buy more many people don't have loads of extra money for unlimited snacks. And it doesn't work in relationships where one partner is greedy as some people will just eat and eat until all the food has gone.

I hate the word snacks (misses point of thread).

@SnackyLady

I haven't said anything about it because I don't want to embarrass him. When I was looking round for my Doritos and i asked him if he had seen them he went a bit red and mumbled that he had eaten them. This is his reaction every time I ask where my snacks have gone so I would feel guilty making him feel bad by saying don't eat my snacks!

I think I will just have to start taking them up to bed with me!

Why would he be embarrassed?! He ate what is obviously yours! Did he think you wouldn't notice?

Seems a bit excessive to be eating junk every night though.

@WaterOffADucksCrack

We don’t have his and her food that we don’t share. I find it quite odd It isn't about having his and hers snacks though, they buy what they really like. Just because you're a couple doesn't mean you have to have the same taste in food does it. And there are couples where one has an allergy so when their partner eats their snacks they're left with nothing.

Just buy more many people don't have loads of extra money for unlimited snacks. And it doesn't work in relationships where one partner is greedy as some people will just eat and eat until all the food has gone.

But they do share the same tastes, because he eats her snacks.

But agree, If it’s financial and you can only afford one bag of Doritos a week then yes he shouldn’t be eating them,

But they do share the same tastes, because he eats her snacks. Not necessarily. He may like them but they aren't his favourite. He's already eaten his favourite snacks and now is moving on to snacks he likes less because he's greedy. The OP might not like his snacks which he'll be fully aware of. So he gets all if his plus half OPs and she only gets half hers.

I hide snacks from my partner because he will eat what is there. Even if he doesn't like my snacks he eats them.

My children do this to me :(.

This is all a bit weird. Why not just tell DH "Don't eat these, I want to finish them tomorrow!" If he has any respect for you at all he then won't do it. All this talk of hinting and hiding stuff suggests you don't have any faith in his ability to just respect what you ask.

Is there some deeper issue here? Does he earn the majority of the money and you feel like he's "owed" whatever he wants or something? Or will he sulk for days if he perceives a slight? I can't understand why normal communication wouldn't be your first recourse.

I haven't said anything about it because I don't want to embarrass him
He has the choice NOT to embarrass himself

i asked him if he had seen them he went a bit red and mumbled that he had eaten them. This is his reaction every time I ask where my snacks have gone
So he repeats a 'broken record' in response?

so I would feel guilty making him feel bad by saying don't eat my snacks!

He's got you trained well, like a dog that still goes up to his master even though he gets a slap in the face.

He deliberately eats your snacks - he doesn't give two shits about the principle, your feelings.
He doesn't seem to have much respect for you - using manipulative emotional guilt tactics to silence you.

How do you have sex with him but don't have the 'courage' to tell him a simple thing like "don't eat my snacks"???
Or is that area of your life being manipulated and coerced by his tactics?