Aibu just talking?

[Pollypocket89]

Today I had a rubbish day at work and a guy I work with sometimes offered to listen while I ranted. We spoke for nearly an hour leaving work and then have exchanged messages for a few hours this evening.

I'm married. He's got a girlfriend

I see no harm in it but a friend was horrified with me

Yes, when he said that my immediate thought was oh fuck

@Pollypocket89

It was literally a what are you up to, talking to X, you? Dinner with dc. Then a few hours later she told me about q film she'd watched and asked after my evening, so said talking to X and she said still? That's a long time etc. No big school girl giggle fest or anything

But you were talking for ages with your DH on the other sofa?

Were you talking to him as well?

Talking via messages for ages so yes, talking verbally with dh too

Well, that's great that you're (finally) seeing what's going on, and what 'potentially ' could become /has become an issue. That's half the battle, and now you can gently put a stop to it ....... It's lovely to look for and see the best in other folk, but you need to keep a sense of self preservation. Good luck.

I do feel awful. I really was just having nice conversations and could have the same if he was female. I don't want to hurt his feelings but also feel quite disappointed

You’ve got a bad case of mentionitis.

Sadly that's the way things go sometimes. I'd chalk it up to experience, and perhaps be a wee bit more careful if the situation arises again.

@upsidedownwavylegs

You’ve got a bad case of mentionitis.

Mmmmmmm I thought that also, but was firmly told friends on op's side only

mentionitis - that makes no sense as this is the only place I've talked about him bar one conversation my friend that instigated the thread. I would mention all my friends but it's not relevant to the thread, obviously I'm going to talk about him here and unfortunately some pp seem to be right on his part. I am disappointed as I liked having a new friend, clearly that's not the case

You say that as if it wasn’t you who started the thread it was very apparent that you wanted people to tell you he fancies you. Now they have and you get to do the wide eyed thing. Which is fine, but it’s disingenuous to pretend your concern is for his partner.

I had two male friends - one I walked with every lunchtime and one I still go out to dinner with. We're all married. I'm not interested in anything other than friendship. Fine!

Project away, upsidedownwavylegs. I don't need to justify myself by arguing with a stranger on the Internet about my own thoughts and feelings that I know to be true

Thank you, Marmunia1975, that's how I saw it but now thinking ill be distancing which is a shame