Tonight I went to speak to my youngest child and....

[mineofuselessinformation]

and I had the sudden urge that I should put on a mask.
I'm not a dramatic person, but it actually happened and I'm really struggling with it.
My job involves wearing a mask and avoiding getting near to other people, so I'm very guarded about what I do.
But this isn't right is it?
I'm very aware of the risks involved with contact with other people, but this has brought me up short, so to speak.
I'm very lucky in that when I told DC about it (old enough to understand, thank goodness), they held me while I cried.
I still have to go to work, and I honestly don't know where I go from here.

I work in a school, and sometimes the vulnerability and fragility of the situation gets to me.
It's understandable op.

To me you sound tired. The Covid cloud of doom can catch you unawares. Don't let it play on your mind. You've had a good cry, get a good nights sleep and tomorrow will hopefully feel better. PS you clearly have a lovely relationship with your child so don't let the buggers get you down

@grafittiartist

@wheretoyougonow, thank you. I'm grateful you understand.

Youngest “child” and (old enough to understand) does not = ADULT

Bit of a provocative and misleading post OP.

You had a wobble and your ADULT child comforted you...hardly newsworthy with all that’s going on. I think a lot of people are experiencing that on a daily basis right now. We can sympathise without you trying to embellish the facts.

I can imagine how you felt, in that moment as though the enormity of everything that’s changed and been lost and been risked came all at once.

take gentle care of yourself @mineofuselessinformation

[quote mineofuselessinformation]@pastabest, sorry but I feel I need to reply to your comment. I did say DC was old enough to understand. I would never burden a child with something they couldn't deal with. What particular part of my OP made you think I did? [/quote]
The bit where you referred to them as a child?

I stubbed my toe last week on something pointy. It bled and it really hurt, and I yelped when it happened. My 4 year old gave me a hug and understood I was hurt. She was a bit upset by it and I reassured her I was ok, just had a sore toe.

She understood my pain and her need to hug me to make it better, but it didn't mean she really understood the very temporary nature of my pain.

Of course it makes a massive difference if your 'child' is actually an adult. It doesn't make your reaction less extreme but it means that they can rationalise it and support you adult to adult rather than confused scared child feeling like the onus is on them to make mum feel better.

Wow, I'm amazed by some people who can't connect with how I'm feeling, despite my posts clarifying where maybe I didn't explain well enough.
Thank you @justicedanceson. That's kind of you - and exactly how I feel.

So not a child then...

I have to admit I had visions of this happening whilst you were tucking in a 6 year old.
Please don't be hard on yourself over this. We all have different levels of Covid anxiety. I hate not being able to hug and having to distance from my parents. We are tuned into keeping people away from us and jumping back in horror if someone isn't wearing a mask now. It really isn't healthy in the long term. It's good that you had a good cry and talk with your son/daughter, its really important not to keep these feeling in. There is at least now light at the end of the tunnel with this vaccine.

@pastabest, I've already apologised if my posts were misleading, and asked how others would refer to their dc if they couldn't refer to them as their children. I also said they were old enough to understand in my OP.
What else would you have me do?

On here I'd say "My DD" or "My adult DD" Not "My youngest child"!

Don't quite understand why so many people are goading an upset OP?
The age of the child is irrelevant. It's ok to show our children that we are human, that we are sensitive, that we can suffer and stand back up, not that we are made of stone with a stiff upper lip!!
Amazing how some threads get so derailed when actually someone is just looking for a hand-hold!

Saying they are old enough to understand means little as that's only your opinion....you might be talking about an 8 year old for all we know!

The age of the child is irrelevant. It's ok to show our children that we are human, that we are sensitive, that we can suffer and stand back up, not that we are made of stone with a stiff upper lip!!

No it isn't. Parents should not offload and "cry in the arms' of their children. That's highly inappropriate. An adult child is different but it's still not advisable in my opinion.

@mineofuselessinformation I would say dd21 or my adult dd.

“What else would you have me do?”

Just be honest and state the facts. Why say “youngest child?” If your youngest is an adult? It could have been any of your adult children...the fact it was your “youngest” is irrelevant if they are all adults. You must see how misleading your post was OP? People were envisioning you putting all your worries on a small child.

We do all sympathise, as I said. We’re all feeling like this. Glad you have adults around to help and support you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent occasionally crying and being comforted by a child. Of course, being relied on and used as an emotional crutch regularly is not good at all, but a once in a while
Moment is not damaging or terrible.

My children have comforted me - when I had a good old cry in the first lockdown when I realised I probably wouldn't see my grandma again, my children gave me cuddles - they're 5,6,8. It was good for them to see that adults can be upset too and how to comfort someone.

Op, I hope you're ok.

OP I would ignore the MN mob and their splitting of hairs.
My mum still refers to my sister and I as her children and we are 38 and 36. I'll be the same.

If it helps I have to wear a mask all the time at work (NHS) and I feel odd without one lately.
You were just on autopilot. Don't beat yourself up.

And to the posters that are making out it is neglectful/abusive whatever it is you're trying to get... just have a word with yourselves.
It is perfectly okay for children to see human emotion. I cried in the car yesterday about a travellers horse as he was making it run so fast and whipping it. It upset me and I shed a tear.
My children are unscathed and well rounded people.

They're 15 and 12 btw.

WTF is wrong with people? Ignore the goady fuckers OP. Your adult child is still your child .

Sending (socially distant) hugs.

You sound like you could really do with a break, have you got any annual leave you can take? I know you said you worry about the workload for others but this is a marathon not a sprint. You'll be much less use to people burnt out than you would if you took some time to look after yourself. As a GP, if you called me I'd be encouraging you to take some time off with stress (unless you can take annual leave).

Showing emotion with kids is fine, but sobbing in their arms about a situation which children are already really struggling with isnt. They have enough to deal with, they dont need to hold their parents up too.

Just to add, there's nothing wrong with showing emotion and taking comfort from your child

You do sound quite dramatic.

But, my children are still my children, however old they are, so I'm a bit confused as to what else I should call them?

Probably just say my son/daughter, and say adult rather than "old enough to understand".

Offs ignore the arseholes nit picking.

I get you- I have to mask wear/distance at work and after a long day I will often find myself doing it with my family and it freaks me out a bit and makes me super sad.

It’s good that you cried, it’s healthy for children (of any age) to see an adult dealing with their emotions and demonstrating that it’s OK to not have it together all the time.

OP. Thank-you for doing whatever job you are doing x