To sell the house and drastically change our lives

[julyjulyjuly]

I’m in my 30s, married with one DC and live on the outskirts of London. DH and I are both self employed and whilst the year started off well, the lockdowns have been awful financially and have also taken a massive toll mentally on both of us.

We have a big mortgage (£1500 a month) which was doable before, but with things looking so much less certain due to Covid, we’d now like to hugely reduce our outgoings.

We’ve always wanted to live in the countryside and we’ve found a place we really like the look of. It’s a long way from London and is in bad condition inside - it would need a new kitchen and bathroom straightaway and all the other rooms need completely redecorating (paintwork, fixtures and floors). The garden is an overgrown mess.

DH and I have never done any painting, decorating or floor sanding in our lives and don’t know anything about that sort of stuff. But it’s always been a dream to take on a rural project like this, do as much of the work as possible by ourselves and create an amazing family home.

We could afford a “finished” house in the location where we want to live on our budget, but it would be two bedrooms as opposed to four, with one reception room compared to three. I’ve always wanted the big rambling house so we can have family to stay at Christmas and friends during the year. Obviously that wouldn’t be possible with a two bedroom cottage, but if we bought the house that needs work then we’d have that.

The major issue is the finances - whilst our mortgage would be reduced to around £600 per month (that’s the cost of the house plus £50k to do it up), we worry that moving hundreds of miles away from London is a risky move career-wise. In our current state we can work from anywhere, but what if our freelance work dries up and we need to get full time jobs again? This is something that would be much easier to do near London than the far flung but beautiful corner we want to move to.

I know I’ve probably answered my own question here, but is it too risky to take this step and rely on getting freelance work in the future to pay our bills? Is there any way at all we can make this work or is it a total pipe dream?

I just feel completely and utterly drained by this year, am craving a massive lifestyle change and feel like this is a now or never moment.

WWYD?

@SophocIestheFox would you really not have bought the house though if you could turn back time? Sorry, but it does sound rather fabulous

I really, really would go back and not buy it. It’s the sole regret in my life, and I’m nearly 50. I made the decision at a time in my life when I shouldn’t have made any big decisions at all - is the stress of corona maybe having undue influence in how attractive the dream is to you right now? . I could be wrong of course, some people do thrive on this kind of challenge! Trouble is, you have to do it to find out if you’re one of them, or more like me...

big sprawling old houses, even when they’re not building sites, keep you enslaved to a daily grind of cleaning, gardening and maintenance, and cost a fortune to heat and light.

I went from a big old Manor House to a two bedroom, shithole rented flat after my divorce (he fleeced me), but the relief of not having that house on my shoulders anymore was a massive relief. It used to take me and entire day to to clean it and these old places get so dusty, you have to do it every other day.

And if it’s oil fired heating like a lot of these rural houses, you may as well just burn £10 notes to keep warm instead of filling the tank.

Your question upthread about pipes is not a big deal. It's a cheaper plumbing option and doesn't look as nice as hidden pipe work but it's by no means an indicator of a plumbing problem.

It all sounds tight financially but until you get a realistic idea of a) what your current property would sell for, b) how much you could get off the asking price and c) will a lender lend on that property?

It will be hard leaving friends and family. But most of ours are based in the south east and sadly, it’s not an area where we can afford to get the kind of lifestyle we want. Perhaps that’s the sacrifice we have to make to be near friends and family though? Oh it’s so hard!

Your question upthread about pipes is not a big deal. It's a cheaper plumbing option and doesn't look as nice as hidden pipe work but it's by no means an indicator of a plumbing problem.

Thanks @loveisagirlnameddaisy!

[quote julyjulyjuly]@OpEd I’m not sure - it has radiators (with pipes running over the walls) and what looks like a combi boiler in the kitchen.[/quote]
That's pretty common when heating is installed later on.

My house is just an average house, it took me AGES to find a company that would channel out the walls & put the pipes internally. Obviously it's also more expensive and SO messy, but it was what I wanted so I waited until I found someone who would do it.

A lot of people tried to put me off as it can be problematic, but I HATE pipes on the walls and having concrete floors they couldnt must be done that way with short pipes up to the rads.

I wouldn't read anything except price & convenience into it.

it’s not an area where we can afford to get the kind of lifestyle we want. Perhaps that’s the sacrifice we have to make to be near friends and family though?

I would prioritise family and friends over lifestyle (unless it was a case of keeping a roof over our heads). And when you say lifestyle, do you just mean a big beautiful house? Or are you genuinely drawn to a rural lifestyle because you love horses or hiking or want a smallholding etc?

If it's only the house, I think it could feel a bit empty once you have it. If the house is just one of many factors drawing you to live rurally, it could be a good move.

Do you mind saying roughly what you are hoping to spend? It may be that there are places less cut off from your family and friends where you could afford a similar property.

I can tell how naive you are about this stuff when you say ‘kitchen, bathroom and a bit of decorating’! It’s never that. It will be rewire, boiler, plumbing, windows, roof. The costs and hassle will be a lot more than you are anticipating.

@Bearnecessity

Do it....there are jobs in the countryside, you can live rurally and be close to London transport links. The world is changing, working patterns are changing...roll with the change and do whatever you want to do.

Yes, but those rural, commutable properties come with mortgages far greater than the OP's current £1500 per monther.

How keen is DH?

For me that would be a huge factor. Unless you're both (family) equally excited about it & willing to work, make sacrifices & spend most of your spare time working in it - with a similar 'end goal' and a similar out look on spending money then don't do it.

It's hard work as it is and if the other person isn't equally motivated it's an uphill struggle from the start.

If you want to take your time (& money) to restore original features but DH would rather just rip things out & do things as cheaply as possible....it's a constant battle.

Doing things yourself is possible, but it can also be expensive if you don't already own the appropriate tools & equipment.

£50k isn't honestly very much, but it'll get you a working bathroom and working kitchen and to be honest, once you've moved in and cleaned everything properly, it's amazing what you soon learn to live with.

I live in the SE, have done 11 years now, I miss London a LOT, but I don't have a lovely country pile either. I'm sort of trapped in the 'burbs. (Single income & have family friends here, so torn about moving away).

It's hard to know about your jobs, but could you consider ways of diversifying on what you already do, rather than thinking if things get worse you'd have to get a job in the city?

I’m so desperate for a change of scenery and a new lease of life - so rent for six months or find a cheap air bnb in the wilds and go and work from there for a month and see how you like it. If you are still determined to sell up you can combine it with house hunting to see if this wreck you have fallen in love with is good value. I think you’d be mad in the current climate to invest everything you have in a whim when you’ve never even done any DIY with your DH. Go and get to know a few people in the area you are thinking of upping sticks for and see how you like them - I agree with others who say however much room you have and however much people may say they’d love to come and stay in reality few will actually make the time to visit.

We moved across the country from London. Knowing no one. As we didn't know if it would work out, we rented out our place and rented in the new area. It was the right move and we sold and bought after 18 months. Renting in between helped us make sure that we wanted it to be a permanent change; although renting (and being a landlord) can be a pain it is worth it for the flexibility

Having done something similar (although our county house was still commutable) I'd say your renovation budget is too low and don't forget bigger house (especially old bigger house) costs a lot more to run/heat /clean/etc
But you could have a great time doing it, it's certainly an experience.
We have now (this summer) sold our countryside doer upper and made a decent profit.

You just don't have the skills to do this. You've massively underestimated how much you'll need. You're potentially putting yourselves out of work. It's a pipe dream, sorry.

I'd reiterate points made by others.

1. Your budget for renovation sounds way too low. I'd triple it to be more realistic.
2. Have you had a survey yet or are you still in the speculation phase? The survey may highlight quite a lot of major issues from structure to boilers that will have to be addressed either in price or your budget.
3. Dont under-estimate the increase in running costs and maintenance. Heating can be very expensive in a big house so do factor that in and ensure you spend the money - if needed - on good insulation.

Also, big houses cost a lot to maintain - for instance external paintwork, maintaining brickwork, chimneys etc as well as interior decoration. Halls and landings take a lot of work to paint.

SurreyHillsGirl....my house is in Somerset on an 1hr 40 min commute to London and is £600 pcm. It can be done, I and many of my friends are living-proof.

@Bearnecessity is that door-to-door or just train time? And can I ask where in Somerset if you don't mind? We are thinking of buying somewhere there...

You just don't have the skills to do this. You've massively underestimated how much you'll need. You're potentially putting yourselves out of work. It's a pipe dream, sorry.

Sigh - probably what I needed to hear!

Our budget is £320k max and we have a £180k deposit.

Renovation is always longer, harder and more expensive than you think! You have been warned.

However no job is ever safe is it, I wouldn’t put my life on hold for a job that could be gone at anytime due to anything

BarryWhite.....check out Castle Cary where the train station is and surrounding areas. Castle Cary to Paddington 1hr 40 fast train

"Our budget is £320k max and we have a £180k deposit*

I can see it will be difficult to buy an lovely house in a lovely area of the SE on this budget (most of us buy small houses in slightly crap areas!). Would you consider places like Folkestone, Southend, etc? I know it's probably less gracious than you are looking for, but you would get space, as much of a project as you were up for, and still be near family and friends?

@Bearnecessity

BarryWhite.....check out Castle Cary where the train station is and surrounding areas. Castle Cary to Paddington 1hr 40 fast train

Will do - thank you!

Just saw your thread as I’m about to watch Sarah Beeny on channel 4 - move to the country from London to do up an eco house in the country!

Should be a good watch to see how they get on!

Good luck whatever you decide 👍🏽

You might not find it all that easy to sell your current property with so many people moving out of London. I would second the advice of a PP - try S bit of renovation on your current house and see how you get on. It will either give you confidence to tackle a larger project or a valuable reality check before you take the plunge.