To sell the house and drastically change our lives

[julyjulyjuly]

I’m in my 30s, married with one DC and live on the outskirts of London. DH and I are both self employed and whilst the year started off well, the lockdowns have been awful financially and have also taken a massive toll mentally on both of us.

We have a big mortgage (£1500 a month) which was doable before, but with things looking so much less certain due to Covid, we’d now like to hugely reduce our outgoings.

We’ve always wanted to live in the countryside and we’ve found a place we really like the look of. It’s a long way from London and is in bad condition inside - it would need a new kitchen and bathroom straightaway and all the other rooms need completely redecorating (paintwork, fixtures and floors). The garden is an overgrown mess.

DH and I have never done any painting, decorating or floor sanding in our lives and don’t know anything about that sort of stuff. But it’s always been a dream to take on a rural project like this, do as much of the work as possible by ourselves and create an amazing family home.

We could afford a “finished” house in the location where we want to live on our budget, but it would be two bedrooms as opposed to four, with one reception room compared to three. I’ve always wanted the big rambling house so we can have family to stay at Christmas and friends during the year. Obviously that wouldn’t be possible with a two bedroom cottage, but if we bought the house that needs work then we’d have that.

The major issue is the finances - whilst our mortgage would be reduced to around £600 per month (that’s the cost of the house plus £50k to do it up), we worry that moving hundreds of miles away from London is a risky move career-wise. In our current state we can work from anywhere, but what if our freelance work dries up and we need to get full time jobs again? This is something that would be much easier to do near London than the far flung but beautiful corner we want to move to.

I know I’ve probably answered my own question here, but is it too risky to take this step and rely on getting freelance work in the future to pay our bills? Is there any way at all we can make this work or is it a total pipe dream?

I just feel completely and utterly drained by this year, am craving a massive lifestyle change and feel like this is a now or never moment.

WWYD?

There's a renovation project in the area we want to move to, but I can tell from the pictures it would cost well more £100k to put right! Could be a nice house, especially if you knock down the garage/workshop.

., Burlescombe, Tiverton
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-72459789.html

My main concern is that you are picturing your family and friends in your new home, when the reality is they will very rarely be there. Maybe once or twice, and then they will prefer you to go to them. If you picture yourselves living there without any of the people you know, does it still appeal?

You could be looking at a much higher budget depending on anything structural, drains etc.
We had one of those once, was beautiful, but cost loads to do up and we did most of the jobs ourselves, including plumbing.
Didn't know a thing when we started.

I will also say, @julyjulyjuly, that a monster, never-ending renovation project contributed to the break up of my marriage. It was supposed to be our sprawling, lovely, everyone-come-to-stay home. It wasn't the reason why we split up, but it became entwined in everything else.

Sorry to hear that, @AstonMartini. Having read all the comments on this thread, I think DH and I will have to have a very frank discussion before taking this on.

Life’s short and cruel. Do it now whilst you have the chance. You’ll never know what’s round the corner - this year has shown that. Make decisions that make you happy.

So many people have got used to working from home, using Zoom etc that I hope some of the changes will be permanent, for those who want them. More flexibility, more working from home, will give people the chance to keep up their careers while living away from cities.

Good luck with whatever you choose, OP. I've heard that old people, looking back over their lives, tend to regret the missed opportunities more than they regret the things they did that went wrong.

The thing to remember is, with your outgoings significantly less, would you be able to afford to keep the home on one income? If the answer is yes, and you aren't just married to the idea, but really understand the work, then go for it.

I think you need to imagine life for your child in a few years before you do it. Remote rural for an only teen is going to be terrible.

We moved from a large city to a very rural coastal location almost 20 years ago with 2 small children. It was a dream come true and remains so.
That move led to a 5 year stint in a wonderful tropical island, which certainly wouldn't have happened without the move from the city. We rented our coastal house out and came back to it after 5 years.
As pp say, you only have one life. Our house still needs things doing to it after all this time but we love where we live.
Good luck whatever you decide.

I wouldn’t be worried about the decorating etc that can be done at any point. New wiring and plumbing however is costly and messy. It may need both.

Don't underestimate how stressful it is to live in an unfinished house. Our house needs a lot of work doing to it and it has caused quite a few arguments in the past.

We're supposed to be re-doing our kitchen and bathroom but we've just had to fork out for things like a new boiler, a new fridge/freezer and a new oven, which means all the renovation has had to go on hold as heating the house and cooking food has to come first.

I'm sat in a room with an unfinished ceiling. The kitchen needs completely ripping out and re-doing (and extending) but finding the time and money to get it done is proving impossible. The bathroom has some mould and the walls need completely re-plastering and painting and we need a new bathroom suite putting in - but again, the impact of the work around us working would be huge. It's not like we can pop round to family members or use the local gym to shower with COVID.

It's taken us three years to do the bedrooms and 95% of the living room. When you work full time, you don't want to spend your evenings and weekends plastering walls, painting and hauling furniture around to get things done.

I'm not saying don't go for it, but please go into it with your eyes wide open - it's not an easy job to refurbish a house, especially when you're living in it AND working full-time jobs. It's hard and can be incredibly stressful. If I had my time again, I would save for longer and buy a home that was finished. Hands down.

It is certainly possible to regret the things.you do. I think you need to take a cool levelheaded look at this. Living in the.countryside is not all rosy - there are pluses and minuses. A house is just that - it isn't going to satisfy everything you want in life. Renovating a house is stressful, reliable tradesmen can be difficult to come by, and it can be a money pit. Plus you need to be able to secure work.

How secure are your jobs?

What area?

I am freelance in software, and felt that was pretty solid but last lockdown my big project hung by a thread, and it feels like the rug is being pulled from underneath lots of sectors (hospitality, fashion, bbc is laying off lots of people, travel, and like I said, even in software/web business.)

I have made drastic moves myself 5 times in my life, and it always worked out in the end. A positive can-do attitude can get you far. So don’t give up on your dreams.

But right now I’d say we are in very uncertain times, and as an old jaded dreamer I’d wait and see for a bit

If your jobs are more secure than I think, and you have some money/skills to fall back on, maybe you can be more brave

I brought an auction house to up. Despite the time and money spent it is still falling apart. Don’t underestimate how hard and costly a renovation can be

Thanks, @julyjulyjuly Not that I'm saying you would have the same experience, obviously - and I am evidently undaunted, as I've been tiling a shower today...!

I'd also bear in mind what @Ihatemyseleffordoingthis says. XH and I did a rural renovation, but it was pre-DC. The reason I now live where I live is so that the DC (teenagers/young adults) weren't and aren't reliant on me to ferry them around. They have all been to independent schools, so the catchment areas have always been massive and have included all kinds of rural areas - but our house has always been a focal point as it's easy to walk to from town. The DC had a vision of countryside life, ponies etc, but have in fact been very glad to be within easy walk/bus/train of everything now that they are older.

We have mobile broadband and it’s prerty good and significantly better and cheaper than the satellite alternative.

I love living mortgage free and rurally so I’m not trying to put you off that aspect but our first marital home needed a lot of work and I was fairly clueless as to the cost, expense and time involved. It still didn’t stop be moving further north and buying another wreck. I love escape to the chateau but it does romantanise the renovation idea. I am builder mate Steve and leaving DH on his own to do the heavy and icky things whilst I make curtains isn’t an option or fair.

Is there a middle ground you try? Somewhere rural, in budget but not needing work? If you can be flexible with location then it’s worth looking around. We considered the whole of the north east before we found the right place.

Doing up a house with a toddler is draining...
BUT
Also one of the best times to do it...
IF
Your partner is 100% on board and you both look on it as a venture with end goals.

Though you've never attempted renovations before, there is a lot that can be learned quite quickly. One of the key points will be finding the skilled trades that are reliable and moderately priced - these will usually be well booked up, not necessarily heavy advertisers as they don't need it - go with word of mouth.

I think 2020 has been the year that will have spurred many of us on to think about why we live the way we do, and how things are actually more flexible than we'd thought.

This really could be exciting and doable for you.

Don't underestimate the cost of tools, I'm guessing you have none. Also if it is listed, walk away right now!

Life the live you dream of. You can always move again if it’s awful. Give yourselves long enough to give it a good try though.

I'm going to go to bed and leave you in peace now, OP. However, I'm reminded by@vanillandhoney that I used to take our DC round to a neighbour's house so I could bath them when they were little, as our bathroom was an ongoing renovation project and was unusable.

Renovating a lovely house is quite romantic - but in practice, you need to be very, very robust and to have a sense of humour. I do also wonder how anyone would do it while working f/t. I couldn't do both. I simply wouldn't have the energy to do a full day's work and then start another job.

I've been working all day and am sitting in a room where the ceiling needs painting. So do all the windows. The garden door needs fixing as it sticks when it gets damp, I need to fill in the gaps between the old bit of the house and the new flooring. This room includes a previously external wall (can't cover it over as it's listed), which needs re-pointing. These are all jobs I can do, but I absolutely can't face it now that I've come home, had supper, and faffed on MN.

I bought a flat that needed renovated and we did almost all the work ourselves while working full time - new kitchen, bathroom, wallpaper, sanded floors etc. The only things we got tradespeople to do were installing new boiler, heating and gas cooker because you’re not allowed to do gas work yourself; electrical work in bathroom; installing the kitchen worktop as it is a very awkward shape; replastering the entire bathroom (but we stripped off the old tiles and moved a wall first). We learned how to do plumbing to do it. I grew up rurally in a project house that was never finished and I’d take on my own rural project house in a heartbeat! Living rurally as a teenager was pretty idyllic. And remember - you have £50k now. If you earn a decent salary you can keep putting £ a month into your house savings pot and it’ll cover things like paint and finishing touches even if it doesn’t cover major projects. I’d do it!

OP, we bought a fixer upper in a rural location. We planned to crack on immediately and are now a year on and barely started. Obviously a pandemic made things difficult but now it is nigh on impossible finding tradespeople, materials are exorbitant and we’re all working at home without being able to escape to the office for the day once the proper building work starts.

As others have said, £50k won’t touch the sides. A bit of rewiring, plumbing and new windows and poof, it’s gone.

The other thing is time. I’m pretty handy, can paint, tile, basic plumbing, build shelving etc. But I work 4 days a week and have the kids around when I’m not at work. Trying to find a couple of childfree hours here and there to paint a wall or hang a door means it’s really really slow going. And it get bloody tedious to do a long day at work, put the kids to bed and then have to make a start on some diy rather than crash on the sofa with dinner.

Though mind you I didn’t have kids then. And don’t get a dog while you’re still doing it or your weekends will be broken up by long walks and you won’t get anything done!

Does the house have a reasonable system? If that doesn’t need replacement and you’re happy with a mid range kitchen and bathroom you could at least get those rooms done and replaster/decorate a couple of bedrooms with your budget. If you would be able to be patient and bide your time for the rest to get done, then possibly. Bear in mind that friends and relatives might not travel all those miles very often to see you.

On the positive side, I lost my reasonably well paid job of 23 years this year. Initially I was scared witless, but I’ve got another, much lower paid, job and am managing fine, cutting my cloth etc. You deal with life changes.. The thought of it was much scarier...

Where abouts is it? Are there no towns or cities anywhere near that would give some work if the worst came to the worst?

Personally I’d speak to the estate agent and see if you could get a mortgage on the property. We tried to buy one once but couldn’t get a mortgage on it. Our current house needed loads of work (still does!) but we got a mortgage as we had a big deposit.

As others have said £50k for renovations is on the light side, try and double it to be on safe side

Could you move but no so far

How much do you want to spend total? How many bedrooms minimum?

Let mn give you some alternative suggestions