What makes you privileged - financially

[IknoIkno]

Name changed.
I know we are in the worst pandemic since World War 2 and all.

I talked to a childhood friend earlier and she said(in a huff) I am financially privileged because I do not have a set budget for day-to-day expenses.

Is there such a thing as financial privilege?
To think it is the go-to defence for those with poor personal finances plans

I probably would say I am, although it may not seem so.
I’m an unemployed single mum. I rent, not own.
My car is older, but fully paid off.
So my day to day expenses aren’t really that high. I have 2 children, but their more than pays their maintenance. I know a rough budget for my weekly shop - but it’s by no means small, I just don’t go silly. I’ll buy new clothes for us when needed, but generally from primark, supermarkets etc. I don’t have to save or think about it.

So I suppose to a lot of people, my situation doesn’t seem like I am. But to me, I do feel it a bit.

Having gone from a very poor financial situation to a much better one the answer is: it absolutely exists.

I also find your comment uneducated and severely sacking in insight, bordering on offensive. Talk about a high horse!

You clearly don't understand how poverty is created... I suggest you do some homework.

When I was working (left in February, haven't found another job yet, long story) I could spend about £100 without thinking about whether I could afford it. I didn't do it often, but I certainly could.

I think that is financially privileged.

I wouldn't appreciate a friend getting sniffy about it though.

I'm financially privileged and have experienced a number of unfortunate life events that would likely have been financially disastrous if not for that financial back-up.

• Serious accident in my twenties left me unable to work. Luckily then boyfriend had a decent job and let me move in with him, failing that I could have moved in with my well-off parents.

• Disability issues as a result...

- I can afford private medical insurance via DH work, plus pay for private physio and rehab multiple times a week (about £500/month) for years. - I would struggle to work full time, but we can afford for me to work part-time & thanks to my education (success of which partly dependent on my privileged upbringing) I've a flexible office job and the power to determine my own hours, role etc. - Money to pay for cleaner, nannies etc to help around the house and school runs. Last lockdown, without physio, rehab, cleaner, nannies etc was a salutary lesson in how dependent we are on them and how quickly my health declines if I have to take on those roles as well as work.

• DS born with special medical needs.

- Take extra time off work beyond mat leave, unpaid. - Ability to advocate effectively for him thanks to education, meaning he gets better treatment. - Throw money at any medical care that might help.

• Redundancy for DH and me.

- Nice pay-offs from professional jobs rather than statutory, makes a big difference - Knowing house safe, plenty of savings, mean we can wait for the right role to come along, and take risks with new roles, these risks have paid off many times monetarily, but we couldn't have taken them without that underlying financial security.

Something else I'd under-estimated was the sheer physical and mental toll of not knowing where your next meal is coming from. Thanks to food shortages and not being able to go out to source food due to vulnerability, there were some weeks in March/April where we weren't sure how we were going to get food. I didn't realise how stressful I was finding it until I got my Ocado slot and the food arrived. I cannot imagine feeling that visceral fear every week, wondering if you can feed your DC.

Money makes money. Even when I'm not at work, our money is making more money. And on top of that life is overall cheaper because we can afford to buy in bulk for offers, get good energy deals, buy decent clothes, shoes, tech etc which lasts longer.

Holidays are cheap because we have our own and family holiday houses to use so don't have to pay for hotels. When bored we can simply swap holiday houses with friends.

I volunteer with financially disadvantaged kids who have high academic potential. Some of their backgrounds would make you cry. They have no safety net, and that affects all their decisions because they are less able to take risks.

Unfortunately I am definitely not financially privileged. Two years ago, yes, we had a good income and things were great, the I took very ill, I am now registered disabled and my husband is my full time carer. Our washing machine broke in March and we still haven't been able to get a new one. And it's not down to bad planning or whatever you may think OP, it's due to the fact that we don't even have enough for food right now, let alone a washing machine.

OP you sound so incredibly naive!

You don't have to have led a charmed life and come from a privileged background with an abundance of inheritance to understand and appreciate the privileged position you currently find yourself in.

It wasn't fair for your friend to try to make you feel bad however I'd find it hard to want to spend time with you after your comments.

And in case it wasn't clear. Both of us came by our privilege initially from sheer luck of birth. Yes we have made good choices since, but without that initial luck, we probably wouldn't have been able to make those choices.

I can buy anything I desire, I dont have a budget at all. I spend all day preening and pampering myself. Eat lobster and drink champagne for breakfast. Swim in my Olympic sized pool and run laps around my two acres. Ok I just woke up, need to get into bed and put heated blanket on cos I'm cold and reluctant to put heating on, ahh well as the saying goes, I'm always in the shi* it's just the depths that varies

I'd say lucky to not have to budget and blessed to not have to worry about money but unless you are an heiress, I'm not sure I'd consider it priviledged.

I generally associate priviledge with something you are born with. If you've worked/budgeted to get yourself in a good position then you should definitely recognise that a dose of luck has probably helped you get there and that not having to budget is something many would dream of but I think its harsh for a friend to appear like she's calling you out on this (unless you are being obnoxious).

We are financially stable but we've worked hard to get here and never taken out foot off the pedal with a mortgage payments. I recognise we are very lucky, especially at this time.

Fo people who have conceived easily considered themselves privileged?

My "financial privilege" is being unaware when I am paid. I have sufficient cash in my current account and savings for this not to be an issue. This is partly because of a bequest, partly because I'm not a great spender, and partly because I have a reasonably well paid job. I don't look down on people who are not privileged, as I was once in their position. I don't look down on people who splurge their cash - it's their money.

I had a work colleague who couldn't understand that we bummed around Spain and Portugal for 3 weeks on less than what she spent for just under a week in a 5 star hotel. But she wanted to feel like a Queen for a week, whereas I'm uncomfortable in that environment, and prefer to spend the money seeing more things. Neither of us are right.

I have a secure job with some of the best benefits.

I have savings of my own , a mortgage , a partner working full time also with his own savings and a financially secure family .

I don’t worry about what I’m spending on .

I can hire a cleaner if I wish or help.

Work benefits alone I’m fed, helped to find housing , have incredible medical and dental,
I’ve had £2000 worth of physio covered by my work in the last 2 months ...

My company provided £2000 to help me set up a covid home office

I am one of the few not the many and it’s ignorant to not realize that many many people are in a terrible situation right now . I think it’s really hurtful to others if we can’t take a look and understand how well off we are to many many people .

I come from a supportive, financially secure and extremely well educated family that encouraged me to become a financially secure, extremely well educated adult. My DP is similar. We have never really had to budget in our lives and now both earn multiple times the average salary in the country (although he earns considerably more than me).

We’re enormously financially privileged. We’ve worked (and do work) quite hard and I think we’re good at what we do, but not acknowledging that we had a considerable head start would be a bit silly. This isn’t the position in which the majority of people find themselves, often through no fault of their own, and I think that’s something of which most adults are aware.

The majority of people who are lacking in financial security aren’t in that position because they are lazy or don’t know how to budget, OP. And a lot of us who are financially secure aren’t in that position because we are especially skilled at cutting corners or possess some innate excellence. It’s a privilege.

For me, this not having to think about what groceries cost. I can put whatever I want in my trolley without mentally totting it up as I go along. If it ends up costing more that I’d anticipated, that is fine. It is shopping for what I would like to buy, noticing the offers and maybe buying what is on offer, but not being limited to what is on offer.

Financial privilege does exist. Some achieve it by being born into the right family. Others by dint of hard work and planning. That doesn't make it any less of a "privilege." This isn't privilege in the sense of something unearned.

Others, who work just as hard but in different circumstances may never reach it. It is hard to plan an efficient budget when two jobs just meet the very basic bills, there is no medical insurance (not a problem for you guys, but REALLY IS over here), with nothing left over, and the landlord raises the rent by 30%, or a child gets sick, or ONE of the two jobs you work to meet those very basic bills suddenly goes away. And there was NOTHING left to save to begin with. From there, anyone with a decent job that meets expenses with a bit left over for savings and going to the cinema has a certain degree of financial privilege.

I once stole a bunch of bananas from outside a greengrocers because I had no food at home and had to wait three days for money. Nowadays, I always have money for food and bills. Damn right I'm financially privileged.

I am not sure privileged is the right word. As soon as I was able to earn money I have worked hard and saved every penny. Aged 14 working summer hols on a farm picking beans and potatoes in the rain. Washing car, paper round etc. At secondary school working every Saturday waitressing or washing up at a restaurant. Through Uni working all the summer hols, straight out of uni grafting. Saving every penny, carefully budgetting. Now many years later I own my home, children privately educated, cars paid for, no worries about holidays or bills. Still working and feeding my pension plan. Sometimes I wonder if I would have been happier if I had more time for fun early on, but my parents drilled hard work into me so its just how it is. Not a privilege to reap the rewards of hard work and careful budgeting surely?

A couple of years into my first job, I realised I had enough saved for the deposit on a house (in a London suburb) and enough income to pay the mortgage.
That would now count as being enormously financially privileged. But it was fairly normal then.
Privilege is relative.

"I think most people can achieve some sort of "financial privilege" with some form of financial planning and living within personal means."

I completely disagree with this. The 'cycle of poverty' is a thing for a reason. It's very difficult to get out of if you are born into it or through circumstances find yourself in it. And people who would not normally be considered as being on the poverty line still have difficulty making ends meet, and are still in precarious/vulnerable positions financially.

I can't sleep and am reading this with interest.

I think there's two factors at play here - privilege can include things like literacy (think of all the people who can't get jobs because they have disabilities that impact formal educational attainment), health, supports like family/friends, as well as financial privilege. The latter definitely includes being able to cover bills, buy the food needed and to have safe and appropriate accommodation - a council house is secure is far more privilege than being in a shelter for example. Owning your own home is more privileged for obvious reasons. Having money in the bank, well paid jobs and good health likely means some privilege that was luck (who you were born to, whether you have SEN, healthy, etc) as well as certainly some things that maybe you've worked hard for.

I have experienced not having enough and having to just soldier on when a white good broke, living without a cooker for a good year. I've experienced worry about how to pay bills, how to put a week's worth of food on the table. While I'm not in that position now, I remember those days and am thankful for where life's turns have led me.

I consider myself to have some privilege - I have a job, I have a home (not detached), I can buy groceries weekly. But I also have to budget carefully, have spent a decade with not enough and those memories don't just leave someone. I also work 3 jobs to be in this better position and do another one ad-hoc! I work over 65 hours/week plus the extras when I can. I also have a disability that my consultant tells me 9/10 people with less severity than me get signed off sick. That has never occurred to me.

I have an aunt and a friend who have never seen poverty like I have. Yet deny they have any privilege and will comment on the fact I own a home in what is a more expensive part of the country, and my income is now higher than theirs. But my aunt has never worked, has a lovely leisurely life in a lovely little detached home she purchased for cash when she sold her council home. She's in a cheaper part of the country where her son and daughter live. She has 2 dogs and spends hours at lovely parks. She has hobbies. Her dc left home by time she was 40 and she never worked or even volunteered to gain job skills. She has the most lovely garden, potters around, knits, reads and has two foreign holidays a year. She is actively involved with her grandchildren, is healthy. She jokes she retired at age 20! She says she has no privilege because she was in a council house for 4 decades, has no job skills and didn't go to Uni. To me there are many things about her situation that demonstrate privilege - even being able to claim benefits is the privilege of living here. Sadly many countries don't have safety nets.

My friend despite having 2 dc in school and her ex-partner providing Saturday and 2 afternoons a week after school care, only works 15 hours/week. She could work more, is often asked to and turns it down, but she says it would be too stressful having to plan meals and not have extra time to do the shop; she also likes her Wednesday coffee morning and Friday spin class. She thinks I'm very privileged because my income is now higher than hers and because of where I live, though she's never visited and would be shocked at the small size of our home with no proper outdoor space for dc. She has never known poverty like I have. She also has a lovely garden, whereas we don't. She has space but because her income is lower than mine she thinks I have so much more. She has time for hobbies and interests. She regularly goes to book stores in her town and gets new books and spends the afternoon reading in the garden with a glass of wine. I don't have the money or time to live that way. I also have a child with complex disabilities who is frequently in hospital, has a shorter life expectancy and will need care for life. I will most likely bury my dc in my lifetime. Many parents don't have to anticipate that. That's another type of privilege.

So the thing with privilege is it's about more than just money, and some of it depends on your circumstances (some out of your control and some in your control) too. It's complicated.

Definition of privilege:
A special advantage, immunity, permission, right, or benefit granted to or enjoyed by an individual, class, or caste. synonym: right.

I don't think you can look at someone's circumstances and state whether they are "financially privileged". How financially comfortable someone is very a complex interplay of parents, job, work ethic, personality, property and life choices.

Privilege comes from a special advantage not conferred to others.

Working hard in a well-paid career has been accessible to most (MN caveat: not all!) people at some point in their life. Whether they took it or not is a different story. I could have gone into business, but went into teaching - not a decision that will leave me financially comfortable if I wanted to buy a car and a house. However, I moved to Australia, where teachers are very well paid compared to UK. Now I can get a car, house, save and live a comfortably well-off life. That isn't privilege, just life decisions that worked out. My financial circumstances have not been granted to me due to special status.

The royal family is a clear cut case of financial privilege. The majority of the rest of us do what needs to be done to get by. Some get by better than other. "Privilege" in this context does smack of resentment.

Poverty is a completely different situation and the plebs turning on each other just diverts attention from the people who are really responsible for it and can really solve it - politicians.

I think you've rather missed my point
Or don't agree with it!

@StoneofDestiny people who work in low paid jobs also work very hard , sometimes working long hrs just to cover the bills
They may not of had the chance to go to uni or get a levels etc to get a better paid jobs or have other reasons
Wealth and working hard don't always go hand in hand , many people with little money work extremly hard

Even though we are not high earners I think we are financially privileged because we own our house outright. It is very comforting to know that it can't be taken away from us.

As we've pulled ourselves out redundancy and debt and now have a good chunk of savings I consider us privileged despite earning a very average wage.
However we are very careful with our money and budget every penny, I feel it is good practice even when we are comfortable.

@StoneofDestiny people who work in low paid jobs also work very hard sometimes working long hrs just to cover the bills

I agreed with this many posts back.