Bubbles . AIBU to be upset ad what do I say?

[Racoonworld]

I had a baby in summer. I have no family nearby so due to lockdown restrictions have had very little help or support and haven't really coped that well tbh. I've suffered from depression for years which hasn't helped and Covid has made everything so much worse, I used to deal with everything by seeing friends every week and getting out and about, now that is hard to do. One of my best friends just had a baby and suggested we could potentially bubble for company during this lockdown as she didn't have any help either. I said yes and to let me know if she wanted to do that. That was a week ago I hadn't heard anything then I got a text today saying her mum had rearranged things and has bubbled with her to give her help for lockdown. I'm so upset, I can't even be angry because of course she wants her mum to help with her new baby but the one bit of hope I had for this lockdown has now gone. I live with my DH and baby so i'm not alone but I don't think I've ever felt more alone. I cry every time I think about it and just don't know how to respond to her text. I need to reply soon so she doesn't think I'm angry with her, I don't want her stressing. What should I say? How do I reply to this? please help!

I find some of the posts here so unhelpful. The OP does not need to see a GP she is understandably lonely and miserable because of a real life situation. Being a new mum can be isolating at the best of times. This is not the best if times.

GPS and health visitors have never been under so much pressure. Baby groups are cancelled. Ticking the OP off for not following the tedious rules in a sanctimonious way is just hideously lacking in empathy.

What op and other new mums need is understanding and suggestions of ways to find other new mums

Op I would say you need a social meet up every day. And. Break the rules! If you want to meet two friends and babies really the police don't care.

@Writerandreader

I find some of the posts here so unhelpful. The OP does not need to see a GP she is understandably lonely and miserable because of a real life situation. Being a new mum can be isolating at the best of times. This is not the best if times.

GPS and health visitors have never been under so much pressure. Baby groups are cancelled. Ticking the OP off for not following the tedious rules in a sanctimonious way is just hideously lacking in empathy.

What op and other new mums need is understanding and suggestions of ways to find other new mums

Op I would say you need a social meet up every day. And. Break the rules! If you want to meet two friends and babies really the police don't care.

Please do not so unthinkingly and patronisingly dismiss depression when the OP has said - repeatedly - that she has previously had a depression diagnosis a number of years ago and is supposedly on the watch list for pnd but hasn’t had a health visitor appointment since day 10.

Please also do not dismiss the support GPS can provide for mental health even in these times

@Aridane I'm sorry - genuinely didn't mean to be dismissive of depression. However - there is also a clear situational reaction here - the OP is lonely and isolated and having been in that situation on my own maternity leave I feel concerned for her that people are offering medical / health solutions only.

Of course GPs can help ie counselling or medicine - but the reality is humans need contact, they need socialisation - we are not meant to raise babies alone! We evolved in groups - new mums would usually be with lots of other people helping them, holding the baby, chatting, giving them a rest - the OP is spending hours and hours alone - that is what concerns me.

No medicine or counselling will resolve the problem of her missing out on support and socialisation - which she also should tackle.

I agree with you that depression is real - but there are practical issues at the moment for new mums in terms of needing to get out and meet people.

Oh, @Wondergirl100 - didn’t mean to be snappy.

You should seek professional help for the depression.

You didn't have any basis for bubbling with this friend though, so in answer to your question, yabu to be upset and you shouldn't say anything much about it.
You can meet up with your friends for walks though, and you do have family members apparently, so why not do that?