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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How to face work

80 replies

FineBoneChina · 10/11/2020 06:25

I had a horrible conversation with my boss yesterday, during which I was more or less told to start looking for a different job.

Not an easy conversation to have for either of us, and she was as honest and tactful as it is possible to be but of course I found it very upsetting to hear and was shocked.

I really don't know where to go from here. I have been on a performance review and if I want to continue in my role this can be escalated to a more formal stage, if I want. My gut feeling is that I should be good at what I do, I am more than capable of the work involved in the job but for some reason I keep making mistakes and it doesn't seem to be improving.

The conversation happened at the end of my shift yesterday and I don't know how to face going in today as if everything is normal.

I couldn't really articulate myself well in the meeting as I was holding back tears and didn't know what to say.

I don't exactly know what I'm looking for on here but I'm embarrassed and feel like a failure so not ready to share with anyone in real life atm.

OP posts:

Sometimesonly · 10/11/2020 06:28

What sort of mistakes are you making? Have you had the same problem before in previous jobs?

Veterinari · 10/11/2020 06:33

It sounds like your boss is giving you an 'out' because it will look better for you to resign than to be performance managed to a termination when future employers ask for references etc.

Without knowing more (industry, errors, whether you performance management plan is achievable etc) it's difficult to say

WotWouldCJDo · 10/11/2020 06:34

Oh, this sounds horrible for you

Trixie18 · 10/11/2020 06:35

Can you give some Idea of the work you do? We're you able to do the role before but not now, has something changed either in your life or with the role? Do you think you're not capable of doing the role or would more training/support help?

WotWouldCJDo · 10/11/2020 06:35

It seems like a sign of their good regard of you that they are handling it this way.

Silverstripe · 10/11/2020 06:37

I’m sorry OP, that’s very tough. In my first job I had an awkward and upsetting conversation with my boss about how my performance wasn’t adequate (I was actually struggling with serious depression at the time but hadn’t yet been diagnosed) and it made it very hard to face going in even though he had been kind.

It’s worth remembering that a particular job might not be right for you, but that doesn’t mean you’re stupid or worthless or that you wouldn’t be great in a different job (or even great in your current job with different support). This isn’t an indictment of you as a person or a sign that you aren’t capable in other important ways.

Whatever ends up happening I hope you’re ok and that you find something fulfilling and right for you in the end

LauraBassi · 10/11/2020 06:40

There was actually a woman on here yesterday worried that she had to let one of her employees go in similar circumstances. Wonder if that was your boss?

I’d push it further. Try and keep your job. Worst time ever to be out of work.

FippertyGibbett · 10/11/2020 06:57

How old are you ? Could it be peri/menopause?

Original poster

FineBoneChina · 10/11/2020 07:09

I'm a dispenser in a pharmacy which requires alot of focus and accuracy which I don't seem to be able to apply consistently, despite being very competent at maths and calculations with good language and understanding. My errors are not in calculations or understanding but more that I seem to miss things when checking- for example giving a 40g tube of cream when a 30g tube has been prescribed.

I've suffered from depression and anxiety for years which I take medication for but the past couple of years have been unusually stressful and I know that I didn't get off to a good start when I was offered the job.

It's a demanding job even in normal circumstances but since March it has been almost unmanageable even for the more experienced staff. It also makes it difficult for me to focus on changing anything or think about what I can do better because of the endless conveyor belt of jobs that can't wait.

I want desperately to keep my job. I enjoy the pace and the fact that it is mentally stimulating as well as being able to help patients. I get alot of satisfaction from it when things are going well.

I actually managed over a week with no mistakes recently and thought I'd finally nailed it, however by the weekend I was back to square one.

Thankyou for all your nice replies

OP posts:

flaviaritt · 10/11/2020 07:13

Have you been to see your GP about issues of focus and concentration? Do you get enough sleep? Do you eat well? Do you have any vitamin deficiencies? Would a break for stress help?

This is a difficult one because making mistakes in that context is very serious. I can’t blame them. But equally, if this can be fixed, that would be better than you losing your job.

BameChange123 · 10/11/2020 07:15

I would speak to your GP. I was.put in a performance management plan after 15 years of high performance, award winning cutting edge work which had reduced business risk and saved £ millions. Reasons were: new nasty boss and an undiagnosed medical condition that affected my cognitive abilities. Also join a union if not in one already.

flaviaritt · 10/11/2020 07:17

Oh and if you are understaffed then definitely talk to ACAS/your union.

satnighttakeaway · 10/11/2020 07:17

Now that you've explained the mistakes they are potentially very serious, maybe your boss is doing you a favour by telling you in a professional way.

Not everyone is good with attention to detail, it doesn't mean that you wouldn't be good at lots of other jobs it's not a good time to be looking but no harm in starting.

QueenArnica · 10/11/2020 07:18

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Is there any possibility of speaking to your manager again today to see if there is any further training/shadowing they can offer? It sounds as though they are being kind, cut yourself some slack maybe this isn’t the right job for you at this particular time.

Hope it works out OP.

Shelby2010 · 10/11/2020 07:20

What were the reasons for your mistakes? ‘Human error’ is not usually considered an acceptable answer. There is usually a deeper reason such as lack of training, or poor process pathways, or distraction caused (eg) by critical tasks being interrupted by constant phone calls. If there are clear protocols that you haven’t followed then your employer is right to manage you out.

Of course a previous poster is also right that being peri-menopausal can have weird effects on memory & concentration.

midgebabe · 10/11/2020 07:21

So you went a week without making a mistake...did you then relax a little at the weekend? Perhaps you need to train yourself to really focus on double checking what you have done?

Original poster

FineBoneChina · 10/11/2020 07:23

This is a difficult one because making mistakes in that context is very serious. I can’t blame them. But equally, if this can be fixed, that would be better than you losing your job.

I agree, which is another reason why I'm so upset. It's not like putting the wrong sprinkles on a hot chocolate! I would be devastated if something like this caused someone harm. Thankfully none of the mistakes have ever reached a patient touch wood.

I think I will ask to speak to the GP and see if it's something else underlying. I suppose it can't hurt to do so.

I have already had time off this year for stress after a bereavement and relationship breakdown and don't know that taking more time off will help my case.

I can't afford to study for anything new and the thought of working in a supermarket or something for the rest of my days just makes me want to give up on life altogether.

OP posts:

Palavah · 10/11/2020 07:24

@flaviaritt

Have you been to see your GP about issues of focus and concentration? Do you get enough sleep? Do you eat well? Do you have any vitamin deficiencies? Would a break for stress help?

This is a difficult one because making mistakes in that context is very serious. I can’t blame them. But equally, if this can be fixed, that would be better than you losing your job.

Agree with all this.

Plus is your boss aware of your medical condition and what you're trying to do about it?

Meanwhile have you got some kind of list of all the things you need to check on meds/a prescription before you issue it? If not can you make one?

ChocAuVin · 10/11/2020 07:30

I’m so sorry to read your post, OP. You sound so conscientious and bought in. It really resonated with me and a job I tried and tried to make fit me for literally years. On paper I should have been great at it.

But that’s the trouble with humans; we’re a nuanced and complex mix of intelligence and natural aptitudes. If you ask a fish to climb a tree, and all that...

Definitely exhaust union avenues first and make sure first and foremost you’re looking after your own physical and mental well-being. What I’m about to write will probably seem trite, but I promise you I’ve been there (a professional career I should have been good at but somehow just never nailed). Fortunately I jumped way before I would have been pushed, took a huge pay cut and ended up in an entirely different job and new industry I love. That was eight years ago and I’m five promotions and pay rises in and pretty much flying

Original poster

FineBoneChina · 10/11/2020 07:35

Boss is aware of the depression/anxiety to some extent - she checks my prescription when its dispensed in my pharmacy, and we have had conversations where it has come up.

We have operating procedures which detail how we should perform checks on prescriptions as we dispense them which I can revisit and will be doing so.

I'm finding it difficult to pinpoint what other support I could ask for. Everyone's errors are tracked and reviewed as a whole at the end of each month but there doesn't seem to be a specific problem which stands out for me in particular ie. Time of day the error is made or type of prescription.

Just to be clear, anything I dispense is always checked again by the pharmacis before it goes out to the patient - I'm not just handing out the wrong thing straight to patients willy nilly.

OP posts:

ExclamationPerfume · 10/11/2020 07:35

I have worked as a dispenser. It is so important to be accurate. We used to tick on the box the strength and quantity and name to double check. The pharmacist could be struck off if they don't spot your mistake.

WeAreFromThePlanetDuplo · 10/11/2020 07:37

OP, do you think you have got yourself into a bit of a vicious circle of ‘concentrating on concentrating’? It sounds very stressful.
I have a little rhyme I say to myself to check I have everything I need in my work bag, could you come up with something similar so you go through the same process every time?

WeAreFromThePlanetDuplo · 10/11/2020 07:39

Ah, just x posted and seen that there’s already a list you use to check.

How long have you been in this job?

AuditAngel · 10/11/2020 07:58

That’s really tough news to receive, it’s tough news to give someone too. Someone has already suggested a GP visit, I think that’s a good idea.

vanillandhoney · 10/11/2020 08:02

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, a job isn't a good fit. That doesn't mean you're a bad person or a failure or rubbish - it's just that even if a job is perfect on paper, it's not always perfect in real life.

About a year ago, I left a job that was, on paper, perfect for me. I had the right experience, the knowledge - but it just wasn't for me and I made silly mistakes and took my unhappiness out on the wrong people. I ended up off on sick leave with stress (poor management was another issue) and quit after I went back and it was even worse.

Not all jobs will be right for you and that's okay. You sound like you have a fantastic boss - use that to your advantage. If you want to stay, pick her brains and get as much help as possible, but equally don't be afraid to say the job isn't for you so you'd like to move on.

Best of luck

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