To ask if you could restart adulthood, what would you do differently?

[changedname34]

I've been thinking lots tonight about what I would do differently if I had the chance to go back when I was 18.

I'd save instead of being stupid with my money and running up lots of debt, travel more, rethink the decision to have DC so young & go to university.

What would you do & why?

I would enjoy every second of not having to work when I was at uni.

Other than that, honestly not much so far.

Save more money.
Travel the world.
Work harder at school.
Have children younger.

Then again I'm only 25 so there's plenty of time to fuck op

Fuck up! Sorry OP, not looking to get in your pants!!

I didn’t want to go to university at 18. I didn’t see the point.

However, my life might have turned out very differently if I’d gone. Lots of people meet their life partners there. Maybe I would have met the one? I might have made some great friends too, had some fun times and even found the opportunity to move into a career I’d have enjoyed?

Ah well... at least I’ve got few regrets on the travel front. I did plenty of that. And I couldn’t have got on the property ladder sooner, as property prices were already crazy by the time I was 18.

Not waste my prime years (19-36) in two bad relationships. I could have found someone I really loved instead of staying with someone who was nice enough, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
If I had my time again, I’d seriously try to find my life partner by 30, not get stuck with the wrong one!

Career-wise, I’m happy enough.
I wish I’d saved money.

Never have married a narcissist. Or if I had married him to have stayed until he physically hit me rather than just abused me financially/emotionally/psychologically. I don't think I'd have lost my kids for half of the time if I'd just hung on and waited, although I may have been waiting for years. It would have been worth it. I shouldn't have been such a coward.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing though I guess.

Age 13 to 18 I'd change a lot though

I'd save instead of being stupid with my money and running up lots of debt, travel more, rethink the decision to have DC so young & go to university

Could have written this op. Exactly that!

I'd have not got with my ex and been single at uni. Not for anything exciting but because I think my my would have been better.

I'd have saved more / spent less

Hmm. What would I change?
I would not have got married when I did, and to who I did.
In fact I would never get married and definitely not ever give up my name.
I would have stood my own ground more and been braver with my choices.
I would have not moved so far away from my family for a man.
I would have gone for the scary career first instead of the safer option (even though I love my job)
I wouldn't have socially confirmed so much.
I would have pursued my musical side far more and been more confident in myself.

Ooh good one.

I would:

1. Keep going to yoga as I was v good at it when I was 18 and now I'm fat and inflexible
2. Do a year abroad / working holiday! I started a "proper" career job in the same field that I got my degree in the same week I graduated and I 100% feel like I've "settled" for my career. My job title is good on paper but I'm so unfulfilled.

Not get married the first time, but would still have had my boys. Not trusted a friend quite so much. Left my first relationship sooner. Not allowed myself to have been made to feel guilty for going back to IMO to get a degree. Ditto work.

@user115632569541
Your post is very moving and sorrowful.
I’m sorry to read about all the pain you’ve endured.

Lived at home for longer and saved. Not had kids do young.

Have a different family to the one that I've got! (Parents & siblings). Aunts and cousins and GPs were ok.

Absolutely everything although I’m sure the seeds were sown well before 18 for my life to be f’d up. Let me turn back time to the start of high school and I might just be ok

Started playing piano again (I had given up when I was 14) and maybe having a career in music. Definitely not started smoking! Not had as many drunken one night stands. But at 18 I was about to go to University and I did love that time in my life, feel I did the right course, made lifelong friends etc. So no regrets there.

I don't think I really knew myself and accepted my flaws and realised what I needed to make me happy, and stopped being obsessed with what others thought of me until I was mid 50s - so much opportunity and happiness missed over the years.

self care, look after myself more - healthy eating, exercise, mental health - focussing more on ME rather than on other people

Avoided getting into relationships until I had therapy to heal childhood wounds. Of course I didn't realise how badly affected I had been then.

I’d have watched my weight a lot more, decided on a different university, put myself out there a lot more instead of being so shy and anxious. Dumped ex a lot quicker, dated more, travelled more, waited until I met the one, I adore my kids but I think I’d have only one (my other children have disabilities).

Not moved to the country I’m in now.

I wouldn't have got married or had children. I wouldn't have done everything to please other people.

Acknowledged and acted on my bi side much earlier than my 30s.