For me these days, passion for my job is like my lost libido - I don't want it, but I want to WANT to want it if you se what I mean.
I've had spells of high enjoyment of my work - about 4 jobs in a long CV that I've genuinely been excited to go into work every day, felt like I was making a difference, adored my colleagues and service users etc.
But mostly I've found jobs understimulating, overcomplicated, or just too stressful - I'm a perfectionist so to be continually chipping away at something that never gets better and the goalposts keep moving (cf most jobs, esp in Higher Education/Health Service where I've had most of my experience) is soul-destroying and I tend to get sucked in to working far too many hours to try and do the impossible - which was fine until I had a child and a life crisis or two, then hello nervous breakdown!
I now have to take things much easier for the good of my mental health and my family - but the upshot of this is I am disengaged and frankly just marking time some days.
I have also had jobs that were otherwise good utterly ruined by the hellbitch manager or the totally intractably lazy line report and all the stress and conflict that comes with that.
The main issue I have with work is the powerlessness - even in a senior role, fundamentally you can't ever really control others' behaviour, esp not in the public sector where people basically only ever get sacked for gross negligence or via an official redundancies policy - managers individually have no teeth so for a lazy person there is no motivation to do a good job. And from the junior's perspective, you can work yourself into the ground but if the targets and expectations set by your superiors (over which you have no control) are unrealistic and impossible, you are always going to fail.
From the mental wellbeing perspective, the best job I ever had was in a pub - hard physical work but guaranteed job satisfaction in the sense that you are asked to do something achievable (provide drinks) and if you do it well and conscientiously you have happy clients. Unfortunately, doesn't pay enough to support a mortgage and the hours are hardly family friendly!
I went down to 4 days a week while my child was in nursery. She's heading into school now and I don't think I'll ever go back up to 5. DP went to 4 not long after me and he too thinks life is better with this balance. Our life plan is very much to eliminate the NEED to work for money as soon as possible. Although he is a busy bee and will likely find all manner of useful things to do, possibly set up his own business once he is not reliant on it's success or failure. I can see myself quite happily reading, writing, maybe finally taking some time to look after my health, making bread, going for walks, visiting my children, my sister and my parents - and yes probably quite a lot of binge-watching too! - basically living an inexpensive, pleasurable life.
I do have some expensive daydreams - I'd like to live in a narrowboat for a while, I'd like to travel again by myself like I did in my teens and early twenties - but I'd accept the loss of those if it meant I could stop putting myself through work stress.
My ideal outcome though would be to find a job like the ones I have had in my career that make me feel good, productive and engaged. My family all say I should pursue my writing as a career and I think if I could make enough money out of that to hold up my end of the mortgage I would be happy to stay in work far longer. But obviously there's little money and stiff competition in that area!
Any careers advisors on here who'd like to help a very booksmart, idealistic but fundamentally rather insecure and lazy person find the perfect career? I can pay in sourdough 