To suddenly not want to work anymore?

[MasterGland]

I want to sit at home with my cats and read books. Perhaps bake occasionally, play board games with my son. Weed the garden.
I have realised that I can easily fill my days with these things. They make me happy. I am really struggling with motivation at work. I used to be quite career oriented, but now I keep calculating the minimum I need to retire, and how I might do it as soon as possible.
It is a sudden change for me, and not sure if it is related to the current lockdowns... but have not directly been affected by them really as worked straight through both. Anyone else had a sudden change of heart about the pursuit of endless work?

Crunch13Crunch

I think that's a really important thing about balance.
Wishing away 30 or 40 years of your life so you can get to retirement seems such a waste of our precious life.
Surely we should be striving to find more of a work/life balance so we can enjoy the time we have at all stages of life.
It's not just about saving up enough pension or savings so we can stop- it should be about enjoying all of the stages of our life.
And working out ways to make that happen.

I'm mid forties and love my job right now - it's interesting, challenging and well paid, but I'm planning another 10 years absolute max before I'm out of there and travelling, all being well.

I want to live overseas at least part of each year. I want to read in the sunshine somewhere with an amazing view, fresh air, good food and drink and a lovely restful lifestyle.

Mortgage already gone so the next few years are about saving to fund our plans. And possibly uni.

Thanks everyone. Still reading the read and really enjoying reading your thoughts on this. Reflecting on what has been said, I think I should go part time as soon as I can afford it in a couple of years, maybe before my mortgage is paid off.

I'm on the + side of 65 and reduced my hours this year and will further reduce them next with a view to its being my last. I still enjoy teaching, but not the guff that goes with it.

Some posters find this tool really helpful

I like it

www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/demotivator/

When I was on 60 hour weeks I had a bad habit of buying a luxury each week, like I felt I needed something to show for the work. This stopped me!

One of my neighbours used to work similar hours, buy expensive fresh flowers for the flat every week, and she was a season ticket holder so was out for every football game. She was probably in her flat two hours a day max, bar sleeping. She looked at that tool and was like, WTF am I doing.

A pp mentioned about having nicer furniture etc at home. I’m pretty much all second hand stuff here. It’s not worth the extra days of work for me. Obviously everyone is different but it’s good to think things over rather than look at a couch and think, shit, that’s a week’s wage.

@Jynxed I completely agree.

We've paid our mortgage off which don't get me wrong, is amazing but we're now in the next phase, Uni fees (accommodation, etc.) so the mortgage money we're now saving will go on that.

In my head, it's only then that we'll be able to start saving for "us" and think about retirement. However as I'm only early 40's, it will be a while yet!

I started work at 13 with a paper round and worked full-time from 17 to 34 in the civil service. Then moved to the NHS in a similar role (non-clinical) on about £30k. I got bored just sitting around getting paid all this money seemingly for nothing, it irritated me that I was getting paid so much when lives weren't in my hands.
So I interviewed and got a clinical role for 25 hours a week, patient facing and I absolutely loved it. On my CV under reasons for leaving my admin role, I put that I wanted to feel like I was making a difference.
Anyway, fast forward and I've just spent the last 4 years doing a degree in a healthcare related subject so I can go back into the NHS, still at a lower grade than my original admin role, but directly making a difference. I've just been offered a job ☺️

I'm 52, single parent with no contribution from other parent, I rent privately at an astronomical rate lining someone else's pocket, have relied on benefits for 3.5 years and don't actually know if I'll be any better off working than I was as a student. It's 10 years until my youngest will be of uni age. Once I earn over £28k I'll have to start paying back the £60k student loan I've accumulated.

I can't wait to start working again, to get out of the house and have some adult conversation, to feel valued again.
But I can see myself wanting to go part time in a few years, maybe less, just to be able to keep on top of all the house stuff, washing cooking shopping etc. Not to mention me time.

I've felt like this and im only 29 lol.. I've worked full time since I was 17 I'm not lazy.. but had many times that I've thought..you only live once.. why do we have to work to live 😣 its so depressing! Having to be there at a certain time, stick to certain rules and then pay tax.. urgh!! Horrible.. well in the end I decided to go to university to gain a degree and I love it! I was able to get a loan meaning i am still able to pay all my household bills and morgage but i dont have to work full time (i still do part time to top up money) not having to work full time wasn't my motivation but definitely a benefit! I love studying and writing essays at home in my pj's and hopefully at the end I'll be able to get into a career that I actually love... I'd definitely recommend it to anyone! X

Should add to that, I've had mortgages with loser ex partners which is why I've ended up renting now, I would have paid off at least two of them by now and I'm beginning to feel like I'll never own another house. It bothers me more than it should.

I hear you and agree wholeheartedly. I lost my job in April. Did some seasonal work until October. Now unemployed for the first time in my life. I'm 57. Selling our house to downsize and be mortgage free. Decision made not to go back to my previous - stressful - line of work and 4 plus hours of daily commute. Looking for local part time supermarket job. I am finished with chasing salaries and jobs I don't enjoy. Can't remember when I last had a proper night's sleep or wasn't suffering anxiety over work or finances. Going forwards I just want an easy life and earn enough to get by even if it means frugal living. The things I enjoy the most don't cost much - I like country walks, reading, galleries etc. I've never been one for expensive holidays, posh cars or designer stuff. I just want that most precious of all things .... more family time.

I've been feeling very similar to this for a couple of years now. I'm 41 so still a long way to go. This makes me sad, but I realise I'm not the only one (that was before this thread).

One day, hopefully, I can retire and live out the dream. It's just not any time soon.

Yes I could easily fill my day like that.

Who are these people who get bored?

Before the first lockdown I was working 6 days a week every week. I'm a single mum to 4 dcs. The youngest is 13, the others are 18 and older. Lockdown made me realise that I was still very much needed at home. My dd developed a very serious illness and I made the decision to stay furloughed until they went back to school, taking dd to various appointments and being around to support her, shone a light on the fact that the youngest one still needed me around too. I decided to go back on 4 days a week with reduced hours which meant a drop in pay and less of a say in business decisions. It's where I need to be just now. I'm lucky that although I took a pay cut, I didn't have to cut back on anything and I know not everyone is able to do that. My mental health is so much better and I feel I've got the work/ life thing more evenly balanced now

I just think if I can last 2 more years in the job .....

If your son is under 5, nah you're not unreasonable at all.
Although, being a teacher, it's hardly surprising you feel like this and probably would regardless.

Also, it doesn't need to be all or nothing. Paying off pur mortgages is obviously a big life goal, but it doesn't suit me to spend my younger life work work working to find freedom later on in life. I'm a big advocate for working part-time and enjoying a bit of both. Having young children makes it very difficult to "potter" on days off, but part of me really looks forward to them reacjing school age so that I can have a bit of pottering time to myself before increasing my days again.

I’m retiring this year at 59. I’m another teacher. Lockdown in the summer made me realise how much healthier I could be with a better night’s sleep because I was waking normally instead
Of on an alarm at 5.30am, getting exercise in the daylight and cooking healthy food because I no longer had to spend 1.5 hrs each way on tubes and buses.

So I’m packing it in. I want a dog and time to read, time to garden and to spend not only with my growing number of beautiful grandchildren but also my ancient mother who I love dearly.

I could change and adapt for an uncertain future in schools for another 8 years until state pension but I just can’t find the motivation. I’m so tired of the commute and the juggling and the low level grinding anxiety. It’s painful.

I would rather be living on a budget but owning my time, so I totally see where you are coming from OP.

I think It depends on what type of person you are. I’m 52, kids grown up. I play with my cats, walk with a friend, do household stuff, prepare a nice dinner for me and dh.

Wouldn’t be enough for some women but I am content.

You are being entirely reasonable if you have an independent income, or if your partner makes a salary that allows you to maintain your lifestyle without your income, and wholeheartedly agrees with your staying home. However, if one of those two is not true, then, while what you want is not unreasonable, carrying it out surely is!

Have never liked work, but have always gotten on with it. Have been happier in self employed roles tho and have been in self employed roles for almost a decade now. Any employed roles , I usually get fed up of within a few months and end up either going part time or leaving , usually the latter. This year I have had two self employed roles which I have enjoyed and this latest venture looks to be a long term one , but did train a number of years to get into this role and it was something I always wanted to do. No mortgage on this flat im living in as I was a cash buyer. No kids , no gf or wife. Next year I'm feeling to move to a nicer area and nicer flat or house. Will probably try to get a small mortgage, will have to see if im still enjoying my current job and if business has picked up next year too, as this year has been very slow because of the covid.

I am in my late thirties and I have been feeling the same for a few years! I get so much out of home life - gardening, cooking, art, craft, sorting out the house, I find it really fulfilling. I do think I the social construct/routine of work is something to value though, esp/even during lockdown. I was able to go part time which has really helped the balance - life changing!

There’s more to life than work... I work 8-10 long night shifts a month , and have the rest of the 20 odd days off. Some colleagues have other jobs ( on the same shift pattern) but I don’t see the point. Why? To make more money? I have enough to go a holiday a year and look after my family.
I was also offered further training for a higher position : but I’d end up putting my child into day care and/or going part time anyways - for the same money but more responsibility.
I used to think I had something to prove. Now I am happy to enjoy my work,when I’m there, and look forward to my many days off.

Just had a rubbish day at work and thinking of this thread. I can’t be bothered with the stress of it anymore.

Thank you for this thread OP. I used to feel so guilty for not being ambitious or career-oriented so its nice to know there’s other people who prioritise living over work.

I have had a really awful day at work today too. I nearly wanted to cry on the phone to my manager. I dont know how much longer I can continue like this.