Boyfriend jokes i have no friends.

[redtrurto]

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and I am 24 and he is 23.
I am not the most social human being but I have my best friend who (of course when life was normal and there was no covid) we would go for meals and walks together often. I also have a uni friend who lives about an hour away and we will message over facebook and meet up about once every three months (pre-covid).
I have some people I speak to from work too (wouldn't class as friends but do have chats and message them sometimes).

I am quite introverted and I am happy with the amount of people I have in my life. I go for coffee with my mum and have 2 little sisters who also keep me occupied (9 and 10).

However, boyfriend has quite a few friends who he goes out drinking with something or on holidays with.

Whenever he goes out, he always says "you would probably be going out too if you had friends".

or "why don't you go out with your friends. Oh forgot you don;t have any"

He says it in a jokey way but I'm finding it quite tedious.

The thing is I don't care that he goes out. I'm not a massive drinker so would usually go and see my friend for a meal or takeaway and she's not a massive clubber either.So I don't get why he's being snidey with me.

Anyway, this came up as boyfriend was saying how once lockdown is over he can't wait for the pubs to open. I said it would be nice that first weekend of lockdown being over if we have a nice weekend away together. He laughed and said him and his friends have already planned a night out in a town an hour away once it's over and they'll probably get a hotel. I then said just said okay and he said "you'd understand if you had friends" and laughed,

He means it as a joke but I'm getting quite hurt by it.

He sounds like a prick

He sounds mean. It's not really about how many friends a person has but whether they're ok and happy with who's in their life. That number will be different for different people, of course. It sounds as though you're ok to accept your partners differences (healthy) but he isn't (unhealthy!). He's not even expressing concern but just being nasty and demeaning. Would you speak to someone you liked as he talks to you? What would you say/think if your BF was being treated this way? The answers to those questions may give you yours!

A unanimous AIBU thread!

And I’m not changing that - @redtrurto - something is only a joke if both people find it funny - his comments are hurting you, so they are nasty and snide, not jokes at all.

I have to agree with the previous posters who have said it sounds as if he is wearing away at your self esteem, trying to make you feel less worthy, so he can do as he wants.

If he really cared about you, he would not be making these nasty ‘jokes’ at your expense - even if the comments were genuinely intended as a joke the first time, as soon as he knew you didn’t find it funny, and it was upsetting you, he should have stopped.

You deserve much, MUCH better.

Another vote to dump him! You don’t need that negativity in your life. Tell him you want to focus on making more friends and don’t have time for a boyfriend

You sound very secure in yourself. You know what you like and what brings you happiness. This is such a positive attribute. You are too good for him.

I agree you're too good for him.

It's only teasing when we feel teased not picked on.

OP, he's part saying it as a joke and he's also part being nasty

He's trying to hide his nastiness in a joke but he means it. I think you need to make it clear how you don't appreciate this. He's young and immature but he's meant to be your bf

Never mind that he's a bullying loser, you two just don't seem to be well matched.

I second the suggestion above that a cat would be better company.

Yeah, he'd have to go. Horrible little git. Sounds to me like he feels superior to you. I hope you find someone better - and on the basis of what you've said about him here, it wouldn't be too hard.

Ditch him and find a grown-up.

Next time he 'jokes' about you having 'no friends', tell him he has 'no girlfriend' and dump him.

He sounds like a right twat! I’d also wonder how committed to you he is if hes prioritising going out with mates over some much missed quality time with you. I’m another that thinks you deserve better and should ditch him!

I think that the absolute, most basic requirement for dating someone is that you like each other and you aren’t horrible to each other. If he isn’t meeting that standard, then what is the point of spending time with him? You could just call up someone you hated from from school and ask them to be horrible to you for twenty minutes. It wouldn’t be as hurtful and you wouldn’t have to buy them a Christmas present.