Boyfriend jokes i have no friends.

[redtrurto]

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and I am 24 and he is 23.
I am not the most social human being but I have my best friend who (of course when life was normal and there was no covid) we would go for meals and walks together often. I also have a uni friend who lives about an hour away and we will message over facebook and meet up about once every three months (pre-covid).
I have some people I speak to from work too (wouldn't class as friends but do have chats and message them sometimes).

I am quite introverted and I am happy with the amount of people I have in my life. I go for coffee with my mum and have 2 little sisters who also keep me occupied (9 and 10).

However, boyfriend has quite a few friends who he goes out drinking with something or on holidays with.

Whenever he goes out, he always says "you would probably be going out too if you had friends".

or "why don't you go out with your friends. Oh forgot you don;t have any"

He says it in a jokey way but I'm finding it quite tedious.

The thing is I don't care that he goes out. I'm not a massive drinker so would usually go and see my friend for a meal or takeaway and she's not a massive clubber either.So I don't get why he's being snidey with me.

Anyway, this came up as boyfriend was saying how once lockdown is over he can't wait for the pubs to open. I said it would be nice that first weekend of lockdown being over if we have a nice weekend away together. He laughed and said him and his friends have already planned a night out in a town an hour away once it's over and they'll probably get a hotel. I then said just said okay and he said "you'd understand if you had friends" and laughed,

He means it as a joke but I'm getting quite hurt by it.

I don’t think it’s very kind of him to make those remarks. You wouldn’t think it was okay if a colleague said that to you so why would it be okay for a partner?

If he cared and loved you it shouldn’t matter whether you have two hundred friends or two.

I think these comments can eat away at self esteem. Please think really hard if he’s worth being in a relationship with

He sounds horrible.

Besides that you both have different personalities. You are introverted and he isn't. Don't dismiss how difficult a relationship can be when that is a factor . Im just like you and happy as an introvert. I dated someone who was not and it was such hard work. I felt as if I was happy only half the time, because the other half was spent forcing myself to do things I didn't really want. I'm with dh now who is an introvert as well and life is so lovely and easy.

Your bf is insulting your personality. It's who you are and that's not going to change.

Bloody hell, op, that's just nasty.

He keeps saying these "jokes" to you.
He knows full well that these "jokes" get to you.
That's tantamount to bullying.

You know what you need to do...dump him and find someone who'll be delighted to spend the next weekend of freedom with you , doing the things that you both want to do and not sitting at home while he drinks himself legless with his mates.

He doesn't deserve you at all.

He sounds horrible. Bin him.

He's mean. It sounds like you are happy with your life, I'm the same, I like to keep my circle small. Bin him.

He sounds like a dick. When I was 20 I was with a guy (he was 25) who loved to go out drinking and partying, "lads" weekends away, etc. I'm a massive introvert with a couple of very close friends and I'm happy that way. The relationship didn't last because we just weren't compatible in that respect.

If you're happy with your friends and your life (aside from him), that's all that matters. Bin him off and don't give his shitty comments another thought.

He’s cruel and nasty. Whether it’s meant as a joke it isn’t funny.

Leave him now before it gets a lot worse.

I had a boyfriend when I was in my late teens/early twenties who was much more outgoing than me. He made a big deal of going out with his mates and it was very important to him to prove how 'popular' he was.

Part of boosting his own insecure, little ego was to needle me, telling me I was inadequate, too shy etc etc.

By the time we broke up, my self-esteem was in tatters and it took me years to recover any kind of confidence. When I did, I discovered that I am actually quite sociable.

I can't tell you what to do about your boyfriend, OP, but I hope you don't put up with any more of his nasty remarks.

That is beyond cruel to say to you, what an absolute wanker. Do not waste anymore time get rid of him and his pathetic boasting. Stupid boy

OP he sounds emotionally abusive. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that. Bin him. You don't need that negativity in your life!

Echo what everyone else is saying. He wants you to feel bad about yourself, so you feel like you need him and aren't good enough for him. It's actually the other way around.

This will escalate.

All the while you are with this loser is time away from the person who is waiting in the wings to meet you!

You deserve so much more.

I would just be saying I am happy with the number of friend I have, I am not happy with your piss taking. It’s obvious you d9nt 7ndrrstand me so time to let you go

OP, I could off wrote this 5 years ago. My ex was a bully, and one of the things he used to say to me is that I had no friends. I am very quiet and prefer my own company, I only socialise with a few close friends. There is nothing wrong with that.

The best thing I ever did was get rid.

My exh was like this, and made the same sort of snide remarks as OP's bf. Another one of his little gems that first appeared on the evening of a Rotary Dinner was, "My wife and I share a sense of humour. We have to, she doesn't have one."

The marriage lasted 18 miserable years, and ended when I found out that he had been cheating on me for a number of years, beginning when I was pregnant with our second child.

Do yourself a favour, OP, and dump this shitbag's sorry arse. You need someone in your life who wants to make a beeline for you when lockdown ends, and not fuck off to a hotel to go boozing with his wonderful friends. You are worth so much more than that.

*Whenever he goes out, he always says "you would probably be going out too if you had friends".

or "why don't you go out with your friends. Oh forgot you don;t have any"*

Your boyfriend sounds like a total arsehole. If I were you I'd use this lockdown as a way of distancing myself from him and then dump him.

You just don't sound at all compatible and this will only get worse as you get older.

You could have been describing me and my (ex) husband. Please leave, he is abusive.

My god he sounds awful and why would he prioritise his friends over you after lockdown?

You are worth better than this,

In my experience men often drink/socialise in groups where as women often have one to one meals/chats, this is quite normal and I’ve no idea why he has such a problem with this.

He isn’t kind and I don’t think this is a good sign for a long term relationship

Would you say that to your friends? Then why would you put up with it from him?

Funny how people who say dickish unkind things always say they are joking.

I'd have very strong words with him. He is being a twat. He is upsetting you. He needs to stop or he needs to go.

Op
He does sound like a jerk.
I'm just wondering what your reaction is when he says these things?
Do you laugh?

He’s a dick and that’s not ok, at all.

I think you’re probably not compatible—I’m more in his camp in terms of liking to spend a lot of time with lots of different people, but I wouldn’t date an introvert because I couldn’t stomach spending all the one-on-one time. He knew who you were when he started dating, he can’t start insulting your personality now—he’s an adult and made a decision on who to date!

He sounds like an immature tosser. Bin him.

When someone genuinely cares about you, they hate to see you hurt or upset. They certainly wouldn't be going out of their way to deliberately belittle you.