My husbands ex wife cam girl

[bumbleme03]

OK, so I pretty much think I am worrying too much however here goes:

I have two really beautiful stepchildren and two boys from my husband. Anyway, my husband's wife is a handful, always has been. She has had numerous different boyfriends and in the space of four years, she had moved them into five different cities each with a new man. Anyway, she met her recent one and fell pregnant so he stuck. The baby is now 1 I think. The issue is they have an extremely toxic relationship, we've had to pick the children up numerous times because they are violent to one another and recently she got arrested for domestic violence. Yes, we have been speaking with social services and tried to be involved as much as possible (my sister is a social worker so been a great help) and of course, have the children as much as possible. The 12-year-old girl is very attached to her mum and strongly defends any actions, which I know some of you will resonate with. My mother was a complete waste of time, but it took me till about 16 to go, hang on...she doesn't care about me.

Anyway, that's enough background... I could go on and on! So, after her arrest her and her fella were told to stay apart, I even said to her, he can't be around the children as they are so upset by it. She said yes he's gone, only to pick up their daughter. Phew, we thought. Now I'm not on social media apart from Insta as I do like that platform and I got a "suggestion" of someone I may know, my profile is private and I always had her account blocked but it was an odd name and it was her and her "supposed" ex's face... so of course, I went down the rabbit hole.

Her and her ex, are on webcam apps as they have links in their bio (yes I clicked it...), and was horrified by what I could see, however, the link to their Twitter account was shocking. I mean, full-blown porn...just there. Sex in her house, completely shocking images of her. Now, who cares? I'm not a prude over things like that in general, its peoples choices. well my issue is, my eldest who is 12, is the biggest wizz on the internet, and I'm concerned that if she came up on my suggestions, will she for my daughter? Also, shes web camming when the kids are there, NOT in the room but obviously at home.

Am I just being AIBU?!?! I don't know what to do

Back away from the internet op. Noone will thank you for letting this info slip

Speak to your sister, she’s qualified (not randoms on the internet!)
If I were you I’d want the sc living with me

The fact there still together is a huge concern obviously if they were told to stay apart- speak to social services again. Stepdaughter needs to realise for herself what kind of mother her mum is - like you did- she needs to discover that moment of realisation for herself. Do not discuss any of your thoughts or concerns with her but constantly let her know she can rely on you without judgment.
I would feel extremely worried about them effectively filming porn with dc in the home at the time but I can be a prude however I’d flag it with social services so it’s on their radar.

I would have nothing at all to do with it. Block her on social media. Try to get residency for the kids if you think they are at risk.

You are right to be concerned this is a huge safeguarding issue for the children. Are you prepared to have the children live with you?

I would speak to the safeguarding officer at the children's schools and possibly social services (although they are so overwhelmed they only take on the worst cases).

I would be horrified in your shoes & would want the children out of there pdq. Gather evidence - screen shots downloads etc so even if they deleted this stuff you can still produce it.

What is your partners reaction?

Do not "back away from the internet"... that's terrible advice. This is a safeguarding concern and if we all 'backed away from the internet' we'd miss some of the biggest risks and dangers posed to our children.

Social services absolutely should be made aware of this. If they're undertaking online sexual activity with children in the house, it's a massive warning flag.

Is it live? Is it recent? Is it revenge porn?

I'd let SS know everything you know and are concerned about.

Your DD shouldn't have unsupervised access anyway-she could be groomed by anyone. So I wouldn't worry on her account, just don't let it happen.

It is alllll the recent, no revenge porn - it's them doing the nasties in her house. Like I said, it's more for me that A. he's still there which really upsets me, and B. she's webcamming (is that the term!!!) when the kids are back from school. I've been into her house and her bedroom is next to my eldest so I can't help but feel she will eventually find out, maybe through social media or through hearing her?

Can you Poly for full custody of the children? I feel for the one year old!

Forward the info to relevant services. Those kids aren't safe. Come on. PP responses are insane.

@lostandfound10979 I think you name changed

Web cams aside, why on earth isn't your husband fighting tooth and nail to take custody of his children??

Like fuck would I let my kids live like that.

Step away? You are joking.

I would be very worried for the children and would report .

All these poor young children being exposed to sex and violence from an early age and someone advises to ignore .

Unbelievable.

I assume you've discussed with your husband the option of applying to court to have them in your care full time?
This appears to be evidence that they are still seeing each other and potentially exposing the children to sexual abuse so of course you need to report it to the social worker.

Is there a reason that you and your DH aren’t pursuing full residency? Even before this cam stuff I would have been.

@ImaginaryCat thank you for saying that, I can't sleep at night worrying about it all. @StripeyDeckchair My sister said exactly that - she has had her caseloads tripled over the past year, however, she put a referral directly with the community team up there, but this was initially after we found out she was seeing him again, NOT this and when social went to see her, she said it was all BS, she wasn't seeing him, etc.

I'd report it too but would worry what would happen to the one year old. My heart really goes out to the baby. Who would take care of him

@user1493413286 we have, numerous times. Problem is because she keeps moving, we have to start all over again with her

Do you realise that social services won't take the children and give them to you? You and their dad will need to apply to court under private law proceedings. Don't sit and wait for them to hand them to you, it doesn't work like that

Hang on is this the same husband you’re with who has previously beat you up and tried strangling you?

Your partner needs to exercise his PR and remove his children from the situation if they could be at risk from this man or her. This is not a time to keep quiet and forget what you have seen.

He can go to court and get an emergency order but he doesn't actually have to immediately unless there is an order in place that he will breach if he keeps them with him.

Be aware that your sister has a duty to act if she feels that the children are unsafe and should not keep this information to herself in that situation.

@ZombieAttack yes, but he's been in therapy for his PTSD and much better now xxxxx

Wait the op or ex wife and bf?!
Hang on is this the same husband you’re with who has previously beat you up and tried strangling you?