Regular user but name changed for this.
For the record, I love both my husband and mother dearly but I also know both their faults. I'm lucky in that my mum and DH generally get on really well and love each other also.
My mother is to be frank, two faced and will never ever ever ever admit she's wrong or apologise. She will talk about other family members and criticise them no end, but is sweet as pie to their face. A classic example, one of my relatives recently turned 80. Now, I have a small family being mum, uncle, aunt & uncle and their two kids. All over the age of 40. Mum is part of the family by marriage to by now deceased father. The elder members of the family always go out for meals together and the aunt turned 80. An expensive meal was arranged. Mum and uncle (aunts brother) were left out despite always having been invited to birthdays before. Uncle was so upset about it that he still doesn't speak to Aunt. In fact he refused to go out for a meal just the four of them as it was a consolation prize in his view. Mum went on and on about it for days about how it was wrong - but still speaks to them on the phone and is now going to theirs for Christmas. Not once has she let them know how she feels.
Contrast this with DH - in the same scenario, he would refuse to have anything to do with his sister until she apologised. His fault is he can be stubborn and often cuts his nose off to spite his face. He regularly calls me mum two faced. I just go along with it because its how she's always been (my dad was a doormat) and I'm used to it.
So, that was just to illustrate the type of people we are dealing with.
Last night, talking on the phone as we do daily...... DH was telling mum about his day at work. This is something she is genuinely interested in and always asks to hear about. Four sentences after he started speaking she said "Sorry to interrupt but I can't believe how people around here can afford all the fireworks going off". At that point DH passed the phone back to me and said, you talk to her I'm not anymore. When we finished on the phone he kept going on about how she was being ignorant. Which she was but its her.
That was completely irrelevant to the conversation and did not need to be said then, She has form for talking over you and interrupting - its like she gets a brain fart and what ever it is has to be said right there an then.
She seem to think that because she said "Sorry to interrupt" its ok. I've tried explaining to her that it pisses me off as well as its as thought what your saying is not important enough for her to listen to - especially when its something not even connected to the conversation. All she says is "Well I'm sorry I'm not perfect" in a very sarcastic tone of voice.
She's 76 but has all her mental faculties so dementia is not the issue. Although that is her get out clause for everything "Its my age, its my age"
DH will calm down eventually but I'm worried that one day he won't when she pushes his buttons. Talking over people is the one thing he can't stand along with three way conversations i.e. I'm talking to you on the phone but you start in the background talking to someone else about something. If he's on the phone to his sister and she starts shouting at her kids he just hangs up.
I think it bothers me more because when I was with ExDH - my mother and him hated each other and it was horrible. I like the fact that both of them get on but at some point, one of them is going to push the other two far.
I'm not putting voting on because I can't work out which side is which - just wanted some thoughts on who is being most unreasonable - my guess is both