To feel really upset for my DD6 and that I've let her down

[MrsWarleggan]

DD6 is the youngest out of the whole year and this term has gone into YR2.

In January her YR1 teacher said she has been coming on leaps and bounds and that as the youngest she of course is slightly behind her peers but that based on current progress she was more than happy that by the end of YR2 she will be on an even keel with everyone else...... Then lockdown happened.

The school was very good with home learning, but as a full time key worker (with a 10 month old DD) I just couldn't do it. We read everyday but every time we tried to allocate time DD6 just lost concentration after 5 minutes. She was at school everyday and by the time we got home, she was exhausted then over weekends I had to catch up on work hours.

We had parents evening last week and whilst they are happy with phonics, writing they are quite concerned about her maths. They recommended computer programs to download and she has been doing it (rather well actually).

Get a phonecall today from her teacher to say they have been allocated funding for children needing additional help and DD has been selected. I'm grateful to the school and he did put a positive spin on it, I of course accepted but when I got off the phone I had a little cry because all I could hear in my head was "Your kid is stupid and she needs etc help" (I know she's not).

I feel like I have completely let her down and I should have persevered with the home learning, but there just wasnt enough hours in the week to fit it all in.

Other school systems run intervention programmes with children at all levels of schooling. Anytime a child is seen to be needed some additional support they offer appropriate help. It is seen as being a very positive thing, and most children will be offered interventions at some point in their education.

Children learn and develop at such different rates and their development (academic, emotional and physical) is not as linear a progression as is often made out to be. I think one of the biggest flaws of the education system in the UK is the rigid adherence to calendar age for year groups - it all seems so rigid sometimes.

She will be fine - the extra help will be of great benefit to her - it's nothing you have done wrong - be kind to yourself!

"on the special table". What on earth are we doing to small children?

I hear you OP. We are a dual NHS keyworker household with a 6 year old and a baby. We work in specialties that have been hammered by covid. It has been unrelentingly awful.

At the time I was just grateful that the 6 year old could go to "school" to play during lockdown 1. We had zero ability to homeschool. Now (I'm scared to admit) I am actually jealous of ppl who got furlough and could homeschool, rather than put their life on the line sloughing it out at the coalface.

My 6 year old is also behind.

I just dont know how much more of 2020 I can take to be honest.

At least we got claps

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

I'm not lying Hallie. You find me a child who hasn't missed out on any aspect of their education during lockdown and I'll find you a liar.

Many children have come back to school further on with their education than they would have been at school. I've also met so many new unschooling family's who saw how much better their child did out of the structured environment of school and didn't want to take it away from them.

Ultimately average and up kids this year are no different than any other year

Please don’t blame yourself. Our youngest DS didn’t get anything like the education he needed in lockdown (he was year 2 then) as DH and I were both working from home and had huge workloads, and no childcare. We did our best. The DC had us for company, we’re fed, clothed and generally very happy indeed to have us around, with toys, books and a garden to play in. They were happier than ever in many ways. Eldest DS is secondary school age and got on with it pretty well (though I question the quality of his output, at least he did it). Youngest DS did lots of playing, colouring, some reading, and lived his best life.

DD1 could barely read at all in year 2, I was very worried about her. She’s now at uni having smashed her GCSEs and A levels so try not to worry too much OP.

Don't blame yourself.

To be honest, lots of schools could have done a better job with the key worker care - it's a bit unfair that they didn't go through the same worksheets with the kids that the ones at home got, because it is kind of obvious that you are going to struggle to educate your child when you are WOH.

Don’t, she is the youngest in the class, it can be very hard on the youngest children. I’d be happy they are allocating funding to help her rather then just let her struggle. Lots of parents fight to get this type of help.

It’s definitely no reflection on you and she is definitely stupid.

The government has issued a fund to schools called the "COVID 19 catch up premium", specifically to help with this. It has been nationally recognised that many children will have struggled to progress as expected during lockdown, for a whole variety of reasons.

It's never a nice thing to hear that your child is struggling, but early, short term intervention will hopefully be a really positive thing for her.

When I was 6, I was way behind all of the other kids in the class, despite being one of the oldest. I had serious eye problems that took years to correct to a level where I can now lead a normal life. My parents were told by the teachers I would never have a successful career!

The school didn't offer any additional help in those days, so I had private tuition in Maths and English. My parents always offered loads of encouragement and showed their pride in all of achievements, no matter how small.

Now I have a BSc and and Post Graduate degree and am working as a Human Resources Manager for an international company.

What I'm trying to say is, accept any help the school can offer, but don't panic or become distressed. Your DD has years to catch up and with the right help and support will do so.

Gosh what are you feeling bad about OP _ she is a year younger than some of the children and has missed several months of school.

I also have a summer born child and she has struggled herself - the UK school system is massively pressured and remember that your child would have not even started reading and writing in most European countries.

I don't even think it makes sense to say a 6 year old is behind.

It IS better to think of a 6 year old having played throughout the pndemic - they will have been happier and socialising in a more healthy way than kids stuck without friends being home schooled.

Why would a 5/6 year old need to be home schooled in any case? I honestly think people have lost sight of child development - a 6 year old in Denmark or finland would be in a forest school climbing trees and learning to be a human being through play and socialising - not sitting down doing phonics on a carpet with 30 other kids.

Life is long - this will be a mere blip

Whatever happened to the concept that learning should be fun?
A curious mind eager to learn will overcome all. What a weird unchild centred society we have where competition is king.
Thank heavens my child was educated in a happier environment where the teachers weren’t stressed by the need to demonstrate results to enable their school to be seen to be top of a league table.