To insist your child chooses a certain lunch option?

[Kelzbelz87]

Just curious really! Not saying either is wrong.
My children have 3 lunch options at school, a meat option, a veggie option and a jacket potato. Each morning the teacher tells them the options and the pick which one they like. I talk to a mum at the school and she was saying she insists her daughter chooses a certain option each day, whether she says she likes it or doesn’t, and mum gets cross if she picks something different to what she’s been told!
What does everyone else do? :)

This term both of my children have picked jacket potato and cheese every day. If they get to choose there’s more of a chance they will eat it and enjoy it!

Depends on the child's age. My DD is 4.5 and in reception. I choose her hot lunches (although they've stopped for now) each week (ordered a week in advance online) and I tell her what she's having that morning only because she is bloody fussy and I know what she will and won't eat. She has autism, which has an impact because if she doesn't eat her lunch and is starving she's more likely to meltdown.

Once she's older (or a bit less fussy) I will let her choose but for now it's more about making sure she has a full tummy for the afternoon.

It's odd to choose, particularly if it's something the children won't like, if there's no real reason to. Perhaps like others have said there's a dietary need, etc.

Maybe she’s trying to convince the child to pick the one she knows they’ll eat. Everyday I give my son a choice for lunch - quite often he’ll say he wants something, i give it to him and he doesn’t eat it 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not sure why you’re so bothered though

Why would anyone do that?
I tell my dd the options at the beginning of the week and then she picks or has packed lunch depending on if she likes the choice or not

I only suggest dd has something other than a baguette in the winter, as I prefer her to have a hot meal!

Even if it is based on the mum wanting a vegetarian lifestyle, I don't think it's fair to put that on her child.

She can choose what her kids eat at home, but to be honest it's super controlling to make those decisions for them at school as well. When they're a bit older, she can explain why she chooses to be vegetarian, then they can make their own informed choice.

I always remember when my cousin was younger his parents were raising him to be a strict vegan, yet whenever we were at school he got the meat option every day - and told her he'd had something vegan when she asked. This went on for absolutely years!

@emilyfrost

She shouldn’t be forcing her child to grow up vegetarian. She should be feeding her a balanced diet, and then when she’s an adult if she wants to restrict her food intake then she gets to make that choice herself.

It really is awful when parents try to bring up child vegetarian/vegan.

FFS.

It's really awful when children aren't fed.
It's really awful when children are fed nothing but junk

Lots of things are really awful.

Bringing up a child vegetarian/vegan is not one of them.

lowkeevslucille at our school the meals have to be pre-booked, so it’s not like she’s sitting there in class with everyone else ordering jacket potatoes while she has to say “my mum won’t let me”!

And as for there being enough other meals during the week, we’ll yes there are, but I’d still rather my child didn’t have the same lunch every day whilst I can have a say. Once she gets to secondary age she’ll have plenty of opportunities to choose her own lunches.

@emilyfrost

She shouldn’t be forcing her child to grow up vegetarian. She should be feeding her a balanced diet, and then when she’s an adult if she wants to restrict her food intake then she gets to make that choice herself.

It really is awful when parents try to bring up child vegetarian/vegan.

There are millions of children raised veg due to a variety of reasons. You should be more open minded

Not all meals are nutritionally equivalent. If the choice were between, for example, a decent fish dish or pasta with tomato sauce, I'd encourage my child to choose the fish. I might insist, if they made a habit of taking the poorer quality option.
I was vegetarian at university, and the vegetarian food in the canteen was a nutritional disaster. I once ended up with pasta, rice and bread in my plate, a few peppers stewed in tomato sauce, and nothing that resembled protein.

I sometimes ask my kids if they can have a hot meal rather than sandwich option if they have packed tea.

@Gncq

Parents shouldn't force their eating choices on their children

... because feeding your child dead animals unnecessarily, isn't "forcing your eating choices on a child"

they like the taste, it's hardly forcing them

It's rather frown upon in this country to eat live animals, apart from Oysters maybe? My kids don't like oysters, which is fair enough.

@Metalhead

lowkeevslucille at our school the meals have to be pre-booked, so it’s not like she’s sitting there in class with everyone else ordering jacket potatoes while she has to say “my mum won’t let me”!

And as for there being enough other meals during the week, we’ll yes there are, but I’d still rather my child didn’t have the same lunch every day whilst I can have a say. Once she gets to secondary age she’ll have plenty of opportunities to choose her own lunches.

but even with covid restrictions, kids still eat in the same dining, they don't have a private cubicle. It's pretty obvious what the others are eating. Bit shit for the child if they have to be micro-managed even at school.

It's a bit mental assuming no dietary/allergy/religious requirements. In which case the mum should be talking to the school (depending on age of child).

It really is awful when parents try to bring up child vegetarian/vegan

They are fed, so who cares.
It IS, within reason, up to the parents what the child eats until a certain age when they can decide for themselves- and always up to the parents what they serve/allow in their own home.

Nobody else business.

My oldest son (5) has only a meat option or a veggie option at his primary. The veggie option is usually a veggie version of the meat option or they have the same sides, but there is something else instead of meat. I order his online in advance. I order what I know he is likely to eat, him being autistic as well as adding a bit of fruit in his bag jic he doesn’t eat anything. However, the chef will sometimes make him something she knows he likes. If his key worker tells me he has enjoyed a certain dish, I try to make sure he gets it the next time it’s offered.

I let my children have free choice - they regularly had the jacket option , a lot of mums at school didn’t let their children have that . I took the view that I’d rather they eat something they like than throw away something they don’t .

She might be skint and want her dd to choose the most filling/substantial option.

Any other reason is not on.

lowkeevslucille she also sees classmates eating packed lunches containing a jam sandwich, a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar - doesn’t mean I have to give her the same so she doesn’t feel “left out”. But each to their own.

DC school offered 3 options (pre-Covid!). They’d be something like:

1. Lentil soup, whole meal bread and veg sticks, or
2. Broccoli and cauliflower pasta bake, or
3. Pizza and chips

I don’t see how it’s “odd” to prefer your child has the “salty fatty beige food with chips” option as a treat occasionally rather than every lunchtime! DC have packed lunch now (but would have the occasional school lunch of “crap-with-chips” if they wanted). Most parents do the same, which must feel rubbish if yours are on FSM.

I let my kids pick what they like, even if it’s something I think they wouldn’t like

They usually surprise me and do like it so it’s nice to see them trying something new

I ask DS not to choose the sandwich option as they are poor quality and I would prefer to send him in with sandwiches. He wouldn't be in trouble if he chose it though. For hot meals he can pick whichever he fancies.

What if the child can't eat certain meats for religious reasons? I taught a boy who used to love sausages at home (presumably beef or chicken) but we had to tell him he couldn't choose sausages as his option at school because they were pork and he was Muslim.

@Metalhead

lowkeevslucille she also sees classmates eating packed lunches containing a jam sandwich, a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar - doesn’t mean I have to give her the same so she doesn’t feel “left out”. But each to their own.

It's not the same at all and you know it.

All kids understand perfectly well that some have pack lunches, some don't. You cannot compare with available food that they are expressly forbidden to chose.

It's laughable to pretend some school meals are very healthy but others are not. There's so little difference anyway.

I do feel sorry for the poor kids, it's weird.

I suggest the meal that I think they will enjoy and eat most of, I certainly wouldn't be mad if they didn't go with it though.