To insist your child chooses a certain lunch option?

[Kelzbelz87]

Just curious really! Not saying either is wrong.
My children have 3 lunch options at school, a meat option, a veggie option and a jacket potato. Each morning the teacher tells them the options and the pick which one they like. I talk to a mum at the school and she was saying she insists her daughter chooses a certain option each day, whether she says she likes it or doesn’t, and mum gets cross if she picks something different to what she’s been told!
What does everyone else do? :)

Our primary school you choose your meal on parent pay. Much easier because then I can can meal plan around that.
Maybe they fancy something different when they got to the front of the queue

Of course I don't tell my DC what to choose for school dinner. Some people are so weird.

My DS has always chosen his own lunch. It's about raising an adult and this gives the children some autonomy. When we did have a choice I was always allowed to choose although occassionally (as an adult) my DF would say "choose something good for lunch" (bless him!)

@Metalhead

I’m going against the grain here, we had a rule that DD1 could only choose tuna baguette/tuna jacket (depending on time of year) on 2 days, the rest of the week she had to choose a different option. I don’t think that’s controlling, it’s ensuring your child eats a healthy varied diet.

that's your job as a parent, just give healthy varied breakfast, snacks and diners. That's 7 breakfasts, 7 diners and 2 lunches a week.

Kids will be fine even if they chose 5 school lunches a week - which frankly are not thathealthy anyway.

I'd feel a bit sorry for the children, not allowed to pick when all their friends will have chosen that option.

We follow a restricted diet for religious reasons. Luckily, dc go to a faith school and so the meals served are within what is allowed (and they prefer a packed lunch most days anyway). However, if they weren't, I would have no problems reminding dc to choose x option. And then if they chose another option after that, I wouldn't mention it but would remind them again the next morning. I don't see that as excessively controlling; dc still get to make the actual decision and there are no repercussions either way.

Even if SHE is veggie dosn't mean her child has to be.

@malificent7

Even if SHE is veggie dosn't mean her child has to be.

Indeed. However, it falls under the realm of parental choice until the kid is older. Much like religion does.

I let my dc choose as they please. They have a good variety at the school. My daughter always picks pasta. I wish she’d eat something else but she’s happy with that (an infant so free school lunches). With DS we pay for his lunches as he likes to go. He picks his own too. If he started picking sandwiches or pasta every day I’d insist he took a packed lunch instead! But he likes the proper cooked food!

@movingonup20

Once my kids went to high school (10 here) I told them if they chose chips everyday I would stop school lunches - I could check their accounts to see what they bought and they knew it. Dd1 was a nightmare, chips, mayo and a biscuit - hardly nutritious, hence me laying down the law. (Dd2 chose meat mash and veg or lasagna and salad)

Same! DS2 has just started secondary and we are working on him making better choices. If he chooses junk each day then he'll have to make himself a packed lunch. There has been some improvement since 1/2 term.

In Primary I let him choose, but all choices were pretty even nutritionally.

My dc are vegetarian so there's only 2 choices veg or jacket potato. If I left it up to them they'd have a potato every single day so I ask them to limit it to twice a week and choose the other option the rest of the time.
They get to read rhe menu and decide which days they want a jacket potato based on what the other option is.
I'm not trying to be controlling, I want them to have a range of foods.
I do let them sometimes choose what we have for dinner at home based on a few options depending on what we have in.

I don’t have a clue what each days lunch options are, entirely up to my kids what option they pick each day. Their teacher also lets them know the options so as long as they’re eating I’m not fussed. Ask them every day what they had though as it depends on what we have for dinner that night, days they have something like mince n tatties at school they’re not wanting a heavy meal in the evening. I’d never even think to tell them they’re having this to eat, end of. Find that thought quite abusive tbh

Parents shouldn't force their eating choices on their children

ALL parents force their eating choices on their children. It's called parenting

My kid chose the baked potato every day without fail so I moved them on to packed lunch! I would have loved it if they ate a variety but £2.80 a day for zero nutritional value made me switch

My daughter’s school’s lunches are all ordered online and I order for her, although anytime she has said she dislikes something I haven’t ordered it again. However, sometimes I will select something over her preferred choice if it classes with what she will have that evening eg if we are swimming after school she usually has a quick jacket potato and cheese so I don’t want her to have that at lunchtime. If she doesn’t like the other options though, I send her in with sandwiches.

@Iamaamazing tbh I think that’s entirely different to forcing your child to pick something they don’t like. You’re making sure they have a proper diet and I’m going to assume it’s more important to have a variety of meals and not just the same thing over and over if you’re vegetarian? Sorry if that’s wrong/quite ignorant, I don’t know much about a vegetarian diet (or any kind of diet including my own)

@YouKidsIsCrazy

Parents shouldn't force their eating choices on their children

ALL parents force their eating choices on their children. It's called parenting

yes and no

"forcing" healthy food is in the child's best interest.

Imposing some weird diet or rules like deciding a child must be vegetarian is selfish and pushing your own belief.

Parents shouldn't force their eating choices on their children

... because feeding your child dead animals unnecessarily, isn't "forcing your eating choices on a child"

deciding a child must be vegetarian is selfish

Tell that to the entire continent of South India where a vegetarian diet is traditional and safest healthiest option.

My kid chose the baked potato every day without fail so I moved them on to packed lunch! I would have loved it if they ate a variety but £2.80 a day for zero nutritional value made me switch

I know I said upthread that baked potatoes were not great for a daily lunch but that was more because the OP had said they didn't fill her DD, plus they're a very cheap option. Potatoes do have quite a lot of vitamins and fibre, so hardly 'zero nutritional value'. They're probably better for you than something like a ham sandwich on white bread.

@SparklyOwl

I do exactly this too.

DS’ secondary has really lovely meals, and excellent choice. He loves it, having come from a tiny primary without a kitchen, so he took packed on lunch everyday. Hot food, a variety, and excellent quality is heaven to him and he gets lots of happiness from food, so he chooses whatever he likes. He does eat really well though, lots of variety, so i have no concerns from a nutritional perspective. Maybe my answer would be different if I did.

"forcing" healthy food is in the child's best interest.

Some would argue that limiting the environmental damage caused by meat consumption is in the child's best interests.

My school has the option of sandwich, non veggie main and veggie main. When I was working full time and out the house until 6 I used to make my ks1 age ds pick one if the mains to ensure he had a healthy meal and give me flexibility to give quick food like sandwiches for tea if needed. I stopped letting him pick his own when I found out he had had a sandwich most days for 3 weeks and lied to me about having hot dinner. Now he is back picking his own option but wfh means less time pressure so have no worries about being able to get a meal cooked in time.

Ds (5) can pick from 2 hot options and a cold one. I let him choose whatever he wants. We do discuss the choices as he doesn't like certain things (mayonnaise) but he gets the final say. I did ask him to try the soup which comes as an extra today as he picked the cold option but if he doesn't, he doesn't.

If we were vegetarian he'd be taking a packed lunch though because the choices are rather lacking. Cheese sandwiches, beans on a baked potato and margarita pizza seem to be staples.

Well I insist my DD has the meat option as then I know she’s had a good balanced meal and I can give her a (cheap) veggie dinner. I’m a single parent with not much money to spend on meat so I just want to know she eats meat in the day in her free school meal . If overheard it may seem controlling but as with everything - you don’t know the back story.