To insist your child chooses a certain lunch option?

[Kelzbelz87]

Just curious really! Not saying either is wrong.
My children have 3 lunch options at school, a meat option, a veggie option and a jacket potato. Each morning the teacher tells them the options and the pick which one they like. I talk to a mum at the school and she was saying she insists her daughter chooses a certain option each day, whether she says she likes it or doesn’t, and mum gets cross if she picks something different to what she’s been told!
What does everyone else do? :)

My DC don't like the school dinners. 😬

So, I would just be happy for them to choose & eat something! It's so much easier!

Out of interest, for all the people saying it's wrong for the parent to choose the vegetarian option for their child if they're a vegetarian family - would you feel the same if they were picking it because it's also the halal or kosher option?

I encourage dd to have no more than 3 jacket pots a week. But that's because I want her to have a bit of variation. Some weeks it's less than 3, some more.

And I don't actually keep count so for all I know she could be having five.

@Kelzbelz87

I remember when I was in school (going back a few years now lol!) I used to always choose my own lunch and I would be so excited all morning. Nothing quite like looking forward to a nice meal!

Awww this is such a cute image! Working away all morning, excited for your lunch, bless

My DD has allergies so we have to pick out every meal for her at the start of term. She doesn't have any choice. But she does at home so as long as she's fed and not hungry at school I don't mind.

Her dad was Infront of me in the q for breakfast club this morn so I asked out of curiosity , mum is vegetarian and raising daughter to be too and if she has jacket she comes home too hungry so that’s fair enough and clears it up! :)

If theres dietary needs that the child isn't old enough to understand properly, certain religions, or vegetarians/vegans, she could have an intolerance of some kind. It would be easier to tell the teacher what she cant have so if theres other options she can have then the teacher can give her options, but she probably finds it easier to have a blanket rule that she knows is always going to be ok to eat.

Sorry, missed that. Makes sense, the meals change daily I presume so it's not like she's eating the same thing every day. People will object to raising kids vegetarian but vegetarians object to raising kids to think it's normal to kill sentient animals because they taste nice.
All parents force their views on kids, it's called raising kids.

@Kelzbelz87

Her dad was Infront of me in the q for breakfast club this morn so I asked out of curiosity , mum is vegetarian and raising daughter to be too and if she has jacket she comes home too hungry so that’s fair enough and clears it up! :)

Sounds fair enough about the jacket potato. She might also be annoyed about paying £2-3 for a small plain jacket potato with limited toppings when she could provide that for far less at home.

Likewise if the DD chose the sandwich option, she might think that if she wants sandwiches, these can be sent from home for far less cost. Even the cost of a school lunch is expensive compared with home made food, so if she's spending the money, she probably wants it to go on a decent meal.

Yes exactly! In the summer my children have the option of choosing a sandwhich and it’s an expensive sandwhich!

@alexdgr8

when i went to school, there was no option, one meal for everyone, and it could not be declined, and had to be finished. no packed lunches either. though could go home for lunch, but most mothers would not have that.

Same here. I tended to eat (and still do) most things but remember one meal I really struggled with - a fish dish that was awful.

It is much better now with much more choice. I would have loved 3 different options.

Sandwiches are a year round option in our school. I have made it clear to DS that I don’t want him choosing that. He does occasionally and I don’t cause a fuss but several days in a row and he is at risk of having to have packed lunches.

As it happens this year the children had to have packed lunches and that’s what he now chooses to have.

I think it’s fine to give children some guidance but not micromanage their every move.

Unless I was cooking the same meal that night it would never cross my mind to comment on lunch. Very odd and controlling.

My Mum used to hugely control what my brother and I were allowed to eat.

As a result (I believe) I have massive issues with food and hunger, and for a while my brother had an eating disorder.

@Hardbackwriter

Out of interest, for all the people saying it's wrong for the parent to choose the vegetarian option for their child if they're a vegetarian family - would you feel the same if they were picking it because it's also the halal or kosher option?

Yes, I absolutely would. It’s forcing your own beliefs on your child and restricting their diet to do so.

@SayakaMurata

My Mum used to hugely control what my brother and I were allowed to eat.

As a result (I believe) I have massive issues with food and hunger, and for a while my brother had an eating disorder.

im really sorry both went trhough that.hope your brother managed to get to get to recovery.

She sounds controlling and weird. Mine take packed lunches now but when they were in Ks1 they had a school dinner because it was free. I never told them what to choose but they did always get the same bloody thing every single day. DS used to get a cheese sandwich and DD used to get a jacket potato with cheese unless it was pizza day then it would be that. They never tried anything else.

I wouldn't tell DD what to get but I do encourage her to not just get a ham sandwich every day. She may as well go on packed lunches if she does that which would be less expensive for me. She doesnt want packed lunch because then she cant sit with her friends but I dont want to be paying a stupid amount of money per week for 5 ham sandwiches.

We compromise. She picks one hot lunch per week but I dont tell her which option or which day.

Our jacket potato option is chosen at the actual dining room - children get to choose from cheese, beans or tuna. So vegetarian child could choose that option daily.

Children with medical dietary needs have their own menus at our school, with a possibly option for all 3 - meat/main, vegetarian, jacket or sandwich.

We do have some parents who,try to insist their children only chose certain meals, but we don't insist the child has to have that if the child is adamantly opposed to it. We can encourage but not force.

kateandme

Thank you

Reading my comment again I have made it sound a lot more serious than it was. I meant that we were only ever allowed 'healthy' choices, we had extra bran sprinkled on cereals (really horrible), never had convenience food or takeaways, everything was wholemeal, everything home made. I totally understand where she was coming from but it made food into a stressful thing and a big deal.

My brother is now fine, and actually works in the food industry. I obsess about food, plan my meals in my head constantly and have to be very careful about my weight. I think this could have been avoided if I'd been allowed to make my own choices as a child.

We have a similar menu option here, one meat, one veggie and one pasta every day and jacket potatoes also. I go through the menu with my ds (4) every morning as he gets a bit stressed about what he is going to choose. Sometimes I do guide him to things I know he would like, but ultimately he chooses what he wants to eat!

I’m going against the grain here, we had a rule that DD1 could only choose tuna baguette/tuna jacket (depending on time of year) on 2 days, the rest of the week she had to choose a different option. I don’t think that’s controlling, it’s ensuring your child eats a healthy varied diet.

A choice of school dinners! I used to get excited about what the one option would be that day. Especially the dessert.

@emilyfrost

She shouldn’t be forcing her child to grow up vegetarian. She should be feeding her a balanced diet, and then when she’s an adult if she wants to restrict her food intake then she gets to make that choice herself.

It really is awful when parents try to bring up child vegetarian/vegan.

Why is it awful? Why is a veggie/vegan diet not balanced? plenty of meat eaters have unbalanced diets...

by your logic, you're saying a child can't choose to be vegetarian? if your (say) 7yo turned round and wanted to be veggie, would you force her to eat meat because you want to feed here a "balanced diet" and when she's an adult then she gets to make that choice herself?

@Metalhead

I’m going against the grain here, we had a rule that DD1 could only choose tuna baguette/tuna jacket (depending on time of year) on 2 days, the rest of the week she had to choose a different option. I don’t think that’s controlling, it’s ensuring your child eats a healthy varied diet.

but you can do that with the 16 other meals the child is eating during the week... ?