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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dogs - fur babies or animals?

143 replies

TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:24

Genuine question.

I was reading the numerous threads on fireworks etc and the dogs with anxiety, really scared of the bangs and the various responses etc and wondered why do some owners personify their dogs. Why do they call their dogs 'fur babies'

So AIBU to think that dogs are pets and not 'fur babies' babies that are treated like actual children/babies - think sleeping in bed with the owner (yuck IMO), lick the face/kiss, dressed up in clothing, spray painted fancy colours and pampered to the nth degree ...

YABU - a dog is a fur baby
YANBU - a dog is an animal and much as I love it, it is a dog

OP posts:
Original poster
TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:29

I have a wonderful fun, friendly, happy, sociable, non scared, comes to call working cocker spaniel dog. Well socialised and trained - gets on well with children/other dogs, doesn't jump up or run up to strange dogs or strangers and annoy them ever. Nine years old yesterday. A really lovely 'member' of the family but very much a family pet.

Not a 'fur baby'. She doesn't go into any of the bedrooms (children's or mine) and she eats dog food, isn't dressed in clothing, isn't allowed to lick faces and is treated well but our 'pet'.

I really don't get the 'fur baby' stuff - so help me understand - why do some owners call them their 'babies' and refer to them and treat them as such?

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 05/11/2020 22:31

Well, they're both.
I don't like dressing up or painting, stuff like that so I wouldn't do that
But yes they're allowed in my bed (cats)
Furbabies is just an affectionate term

Original poster
TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:31

Could someone that has voted YABU - a dog is a fur baby explain why they refer to them as that?

Genuinely interested. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:33

@purpleme12

Well, they're both. I don't like dressing up or painting, stuff like that so I wouldn't do that But yes they're allowed in my bed (cats) Furbabies is just an affectionate term
You say (cats) ---- do you mean you have cats that sit on the bed and so your dogs also get in/on the bed?

My friend actually let her dog sleep in the bed between her and her husband - I really didn't get it at all.

OP posts:
unicornparty · 05/11/2020 22:34

Oh I hate that phrase. It creeps me right out. They are animals.

bloodywhitecat · 05/11/2020 22:34

I love my dog but he is not my baby, I am firmly with you OP.

Wolfiefan · 05/11/2020 22:35

I love my dogs. I call them my baby girls but they aren’t my children. They’re dogs. So I suppose that’s clear as mud!
My pets aren’t people but they are family.

BibbityBobbityBellend · 05/11/2020 22:36

I have a dog. He is part of the family as much as any of us. But he is the dog of the family.

My mum has some dogs. She is the epitome of dog bollocks. They are labradoodles and cockapoos or something and not very well trained but very nice natured dogs. When her dog got sick I asked how she was etc. She not only likened it to my daughter, her granddaughter being sick but said it was exactly the same. Eye roll!

purpleme12 · 05/11/2020 22:37

@TiersTiersTiers I don't have a dog anymore unfortunately. I used to have a big dog. She wasn't actually allowed in the room but that might have been different if the cats and her got on. If they all got on or I just had a dog I probably would let the dog on the bed too.

SockDrawer · 05/11/2020 22:37

I’d say somewhere halfway in between your two descriptions.

I’d also say YABU for getting so frothy over how someone else lives their lives. It literally doesn’t affect your life at all and brings them a lot of pleasure.

BibbityBobbityBellend · 05/11/2020 22:38

I do let my dog on the bed tho.

My mum is quite lonely. I think there are types of people that do this.

Lonely
Those that don't have children for whatever reason be they young, don't want to or can't etc.
Crazy

Lazypuppy · 05/11/2020 22:39

My dog is my baby. To us he is basically 1 of our kids. He sleeps in our room with us if he wants, he lies at the end of our bed or in the middle. When is poorly or scared, we cuddle him and look after him to make him better.

He is part of our family and i wouldn't ever not let him in the room we were in

Original poster
TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:40

@BibbityBobbityBellend

I have a dog. He is part of the family as much as any of us. But he is the dog of the family.

My mum has some dogs. She is the epitome of dog bollocks. They are labradoodles and cockapoos or something and not very well trained but very nice natured dogs. When her dog got sick I asked how she was etc. She not only likened it to my daughter, her granddaughter being sick but said it was exactly the same. Eye roll!

Wow. I really don't get that.

I had a dog for 13 years and when she died I was really sad and cried but to liken to a child being sick is IMO odd.

I totally agree my dog was part of my family and my current dog of 9 years is too but she is a dog and I would never let her sleep in my bed or refer to her as a 'fur baby' or as my 'baby'.

It really creeps me out when I see people actually let dogs lick their faces - I mean they lick their bottoms and sniff other dogs bums - yuck how could ANYONE do that! Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:41

@SockDrawer

I’d say somewhere halfway in between your two descriptions.

I’d also say YABU for getting so frothy over how someone else lives their lives. It literally doesn’t affect your life at all and brings them a lot of pleasure.

I'm not getting 'frothy' as you put it, I am wondering why Grin

Another poster gave a great reason - sad people, lonely people, crazy people

OP posts:
Strokethefurrywall · 05/11/2020 22:42

Agree - my dogs are my pets, much loved members of the family, but not now, nor will I ever refer to them as my fur babies.

They are dogs. I don't give a shit how someone else refers to their pets generally, but balked when someone called me a "fur mama" the other day. Urgh, fuck off with that infantilizing bullshit.

Original poster
TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:43

Oh and people that don't have children. Children substitutes.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 05/11/2020 22:43

@Strokethefurrywall

Agree - my dogs are my pets, much loved members of the family, but not now, nor will I ever refer to them as my fur babies.

They are dogs. I don't give a shit how someone else refers to their pets generally, but balked when someone called me a "fur mama" the other day. Urgh, fuck off with that infantilizing bullshit.

Well I agree that fur mama might be taking it a too far 😂
Original poster
TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:45

@Strokethefurrywall

Agree - my dogs are my pets, much loved members of the family, but not now, nor will I ever refer to them as my fur babies.

They are dogs. I don't give a shit how someone else refers to their pets generally, but balked when someone called me a "fur mama" the other day. Urgh, fuck off with that infantilizing bullshit.

Wow really. A fur mama - I've not come across that. Personification is IMO a bit strange but an actual 'fur mama' is a step too far Confused
OP posts:
SockDrawer · 05/11/2020 22:45

Another poster gave a great reason - sad people, lonely people, crazy people

Or maybe people who are none of those things and just have a different outlook and lifestyle to you?

Eekay · 05/11/2020 22:47

Detest the term "fur babies/kids". I love my dogs, they're really special to me. But they are down the pecking order after my DC and GC. Find it v weird that PP's mother compared her dog to her GC!

GlummyMcGlummerson · 05/11/2020 22:47

TBH people who think dogs are nicer than humans (well it's easy to be nice when you can't talk and being fed requires being "nice") and say things like "fur babies" and post those cringey social media memes that say things like "When you come to my house YOU are the guest - I am not, and I hope you like dog fur" - are not to be trusted and are usually quite horrible to humans in their life.

Just get a dog and treat it like a dog FFS

Original poster
TiersTiersTiers · 05/11/2020 22:50

@SockDrawer

Another poster gave a great reason - sad people, lonely people, crazy people

Or maybe people who are none of those things and just have a different outlook and lifestyle to you?

True
OP posts:
BLASTPROCESSING · 05/11/2020 22:51

Why do you need to "understand"?

AgeLikeWine · 05/11/2020 22:54

Of course a dog is an animal, and should be treated as such. With kindness, fairness, consistency and discipline.

This ridiculous ‘fur baby’ nonsense is spouted by people who are trying to use animals to fill an emotional need or gap in their lives. It’s not healthy for either the owner or the animal.

purpleme12 · 05/11/2020 22:56

What kind of behaviour are people talking about that is ridiculous here though?
Furbaby is just an affectionate term for the pet
Letting them sleep in your bed is personal choice
I'm just not sure what behaviour is being referred to here

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