Dogs - fur babies or animals?

[TiersTiersTiers]

Genuine question.

I was reading the numerous threads on fireworks etc and the dogs with anxiety, really scared of the bangs and the various responses etc and wondered why do some owners personify their dogs. Why do they call their dogs 'fur babies'

So AIBU to think that dogs are pets and not 'fur babies' babies that are treated like actual children/babies - think sleeping in bed with the owner (yuck IMO), lick the face/kiss, dressed up in clothing, spray painted fancy colours and pampered to the nth degree ...

YABU - a dog is a fur baby
YANBU - a dog is an animal and much as I love it, it is a dog

I don't call them babies, but my husband and I are 'mummy' and 'daddy' to our cats, and to our dog when he was alive.

They have the run of the house and are welcome to use the beds, but they seem to prefer sleeping downstairs.

We don't dress them up, but we do kiss them and I encourage the cats to lick me because I like the raspy feeling of their tongues on my fingers.

MN acts like 95% of dog owners are bottle-feeding their Rottweilers – it's utter bollocks
Mumsnet dog topics always bring out the silly arguments.

Any dog off lead is obviously feral / dogs should never be off lead ever because some people are scared of them / dogs are so unbelievably terrifying whilst at the same time it's totally unreasonable to expect parents to prevent their toddler approaching dogs, shouting at them, grabbing them etc (complete with twee 'that's what toddlers doooo, they just curious... dog owners should ensure their dog never comes near my precious child because dogs are so scary, but not scary and dangerous enough for me to prevent my child running towards the terrifying animal thay is minding its own business) / Most dog owners don't pick up their dog's poo / even though the majority of owners are responsible and condemn irresponsible owners there has to be repeated hysterical claims that the world must revolve around the preferences of those who don't like dogs/ why do dog owners think everyone loves their fur babies / let's mock those who love their pets by saying they must be filling a void in their life / insert deeply unpleasant comments about child free dog owners.

It's predictable

"Furbaby" makes me want to vomit. I haven't done a survey but I'm pretty sure that the term is correlated with higher levels of posting on Instagram. Am I judgy? Yes. Do I care? No.

YABU. Some people can’t have children so cherish pets as the next best thing

Humans have deliberately bred dogs to retain juvenile traits in adulthood. That is how they are domesticated and why they constantly act like they are dependent cubs and not adult wolves. We couldn’t keep wolves in our houses. So in that sense they do need to be treated like they are young pack members, because we made them that way.

In a pack they would sleep with the rest of their pack, so it is normal dog behaviour for them to want to sleep in our beds, as we are their pack.

Pack species that are incapable of viewing humans as pack leaders can’t be domesticated.

So while people shouldn’t (and usually don’t) treat dogs as an actual child, they should be treated as a wolf cub that has only humans to show it love, care, companionship, family bonds and affection.

Dogs have an awareness of self, which for a long time we thought only humans and great apes were capable of (because dogs tend to fail the mirror test, but dogs are not visually brilliant, using scent however, its a different story entirely!).

They're not good with static vision, movement is a different matter. I heard recently that the reason dogs don't seem to see TV is because their vision for movement is faster, and the tv refresh rate appears as flicker to them.

@widdlindiddlin great post

For all you weirdos who don't ever let your dogs on the bed or the chairs, so determined to "show your dogs their place"... My dog often goes to sleep cuddled in my arms with her head on the pillow or laying on my lap. She sleeps in our bed every night. She is one of the most affectionate dogs I've ever met and if I "treated her like a dog" she wouldn't get all the love and attention she craves.

I'm neither sad, lonely or filling a childless void - I just love my dog more than you love yours

Not sure what it has to do with you tbh. But our dog is allowed on our beds, she sits with us on the sofa watching tv -she goes with us most places. She is very much a member of the family. Dogs need to be part of a family, they are not pack animals. They are family based animals (common misconception thanks to a certain nasty dog trainer). Not treating them as part of the family can lead to issues for them.

Some people might have been unable to have kids and these are their babies, my son is an only (not through choice) and refers to our dog as his sister. Would you like to tell him he’s a loser???

Why do people feel the need to judge others for what they do which has no effect on them? I’d suggest those people need to consider why they do this.

HartnellAvenue
I love my dogs to bits but they're not coming on my bed. I've seen what filthy mud they roll in and the water they swim in 😂

They do have their own lovely cosy beds and soft blankets to go in their den area though.

And they have each other Lola, as you have more than one, which makes a huge difference. They can provide each other with lovely companionship.

I don’t like the term but I think it’s generally harmless (except when used by people to excuse a total lack of training and manners in their pets). I’m a very committed animal lover but I wouldn’t consider any of my dearly beloved pets to be akin to human children.

Stripesnomore
Quite true. Whilst I dislike the term furbabies, I joke that they are doggie siblings. They've got a wonderful bond.

What a goady OP. So disingenuous. Of course you can imagine why pet owners vary. All humans vary.

As long as animals are well cared for it doesn't matter. No need to be superior because you have children as well as pets. You'd probably class me as a crazy loser saddo, however I prefer not to sneer at people or suggest they are inferior and have mental health issues. And as it happens I do have DC, pets, and sometimes MH issues. I don't see myself as any better or worse than any other loving pet owner.

I sometimes call mine kids, like if we are out for a walk I say come on kids. Do I actually think they are my kids? Of course not, that would be stupid. They also wear jumpers because they refused to step outside when it cold but if they have their jumpers on they don't mind. I think you are taking the whole fur baby thing too literally. It's just a phrase.

I have two cats and they are my furry sons. And I have a human son as well. I love them all, my human son more but my cats are my fur babies for sure. I just love love love them!

I don’t use the term “furbaby” however, our dog sleeps with us, licks our faces and is generally treated and spoiled as if she was DS sibling.

Each to their own!

“think sleeping in bed with the owner (yuck IMO), lick the face/kiss, dressed up in clothing, spray painted fancy colours and pampered to the nth degree ...”
I don’t do any of those things... but he’s still my fur baby and I have a four year old, so no he’s not a baby substitute. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it or let it bother you.

@purpleme12

Thank you he is pretty special

Fur babies is not a term I use and I tend to favour lettings the dogs be dogs - but for me that means MORE understanding and accepting of doggy behaviour, not less.

Hence the dogs in this house sleep in beds, lie on sofas, eat dog-safe scraps, are incentivised to do as they are told but often given an element of choice over it. And so on.

I'm often referred to as the dog's "mum" but this is a symptom of the struggle to find an appropriate term. "Owner" is also sometimes used but it doesn't really reflect my status in the dog's lives as it's the same term one might use when talking about a laptop or a car.

A dog is not that. It is a living creature and so our relationship is not owner and possession, it's something else. The dogs often get given my surname, such as at the vet's or groomers which linguistically places them as family. But our relationship is also not parent and child - though hormonally speaking this is closer to the truth as similar hormones are released by hmans interacting with pets as parents interacting with children.

We need a term that fits - any suggestions from anyone?

My dogs are my babies and I don't care who says otherwise

I don't have children

They sleep in my arms every night and I adore them with every part of my soul, can never be away from them.

Furbabies is just an affectionate term

^^ This.

Why does it bother people so much?

This ridiculous ‘fur baby’ nonsense is spouted by people who are trying to use animals to fill an emotional need or gap in their lives. It’s not healthy for either the owner or the animal

Don't even know where to start with that ^^

Humans are animals too.

I love my cats dearly, and we occasionally let them sleep on the bed, though not regularly as my partner is allergic (but is so charmed by them that sometimes she succumbs anyway.) Just to annoy OP, I will say that I like to play a game with them called "Mama Cat and Kittens" where I cuddle up with them. It's a joke, as I suspect a lot of the fur baby talk is too. They are cats, obviously, and I am a human being, but it's fun to be playful sometimes. OP, you sound kind of judgmental and superior.

We need a term that fits - any suggestions from anyone?

My dog is my companion. He means as much to me as my family, he is part of my family.

@ErrolTheDragon

Dogs have an awareness of self, which for a long time we thought only humans and great apes were capable of (because dogs tend to fail the mirror test, but dogs are not visually brilliant, using scent however, its a different story entirely!).

They're not good with static vision, movement is a different matter. I heard recently that the reason dogs don't seem to see TV is because their vision for movement is faster, and the tv refresh rate appears as flicker to them.

Yep, well thats why they were not great with old fashioned tv... modern HD/4K tv is another matter entirely.

My sighthounds watch avidly and can tell not just 'dog' from another animal but they react favourably to other sighthounds and not so favourably to breeds I know they don't like.

Eww - no. Furbaby conjures up the image of an emotional and psychological attachment to something that will forever remain a 'baby' to be mothered.

The whole point of babies is that they grow up.

The whole point of pets is that they are animals. Yes, they share our houses and lives, and become part of the family. And we do love them - but not like that.