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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this year the worst year of your life?

744 replies

AbsentmindedWoman · 03/11/2020 21:17

It's a shit year, I think virtually everyone would agree. But is it the worst you have lived through?

I'm bored, frustrated, and because I am chronically ill and depend heavily on access to specialist doctors for time-sensitive treatments, have a constant level of background anxiety in case SHTF and my doctors are forced to cancel. However, for me it's not the worst period of my life to date.

What about you? I'm interested in different perspectives on this, as we all are coming to the situation from very different places.

OP posts:
Elouera · 03/11/2020 21:30

I'm always half full, so can look at the good things about this year. This is despite the fact my IVF ended in my 3rd MC in the middle of lockdown and DH couldnt come to any scans, I'm missing a significant family milestone birthday and they may not live long enough for me to see them again and DH has been waiting 8+ months for a basic hospital assessment.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 03/11/2020 21:30

No not by a long shot. Other than wfh it hasnt really impacted on me. Not in UK - lockdown less draconian. Dd trying not to cry when she couldnt have a bday party was tough to watch.

PaquitaVariation · 03/11/2020 21:31

No, not even close to the worst year. Not being able to go anywhere isn’t really a hardship, just a bit boring. Although I appreciate we’re very lucky that we have secure jobs and we haven’t had any family members or close friends fall ill.

winniesanderson · 03/11/2020 21:31

Yes in many ways. I've lost a grandparent and hadn't visited them for ages in their care home due to covid. A family friend who I grew up knowing very well and worked with for years also died in very sad circumstances. One of my close relatives is going through a serious mental health crisis. My surviving grandparent (married to the one who died) is shutting everyone out. Though I think ok in themselves. But I feel very guilty I don't make enough effort really. Another grand parent is very ill in a complicated and difficult family care arrangement. I'm not part of the care, but close to someone who is. And see how hard it is on them all.

Lock down with a toddler and preteen was very hard going and I missed work and our routines so much. But now we're back to it all I'm shattered and feel I'm not giving my best to my family. It's been a pretty crap year all in. And now driving lessons have been cancelled again and I really so want to get driving so I can be more supportive to my family and do more with my kids Sad

And I the twat who ruined 2020 by tempting fate declared at the beginning of the year how GREAT it was going to be.

Thank you I needed to get that off my chest

Gregariousfox · 03/11/2020 21:31

It's been frustrating at times but I've had much worse years than this. Seeing a young relative dying in his twenties was the worst. But my childhood and adolescence were pretty rubbish too.

LividLaughLurve · 03/11/2020 21:31

No. I had the baby I waited forty years for.

covidmania13 · 03/11/2020 21:31

really bad, my son is ill

covidmania13 · 03/11/2020 21:31

really bad, my son is ill

Greenbks · 03/11/2020 21:31

Thanks guys. I’ve been through some shit stuff in life but losing my baby after birth has fucked me me up for life. I would happily live this way forever and go through every other bad thing in my life if I got to keep him.

Having said that, husband and I count our blessings everyday. We are financially comfortable (although we’ve learnt that life is not about having lots of money) in a Country where I got maternity leave and feel that we are generally well supported and have each other.

covidmania13 · 03/11/2020 21:31

really bad, my son is ill

HollyBollyBooBoo · 03/11/2020 21:32

Not by a country mile!

malificent7 · 03/11/2020 21:32

It is shite but not as shite as when i had a massive breakdown age 19 due to significant abuse. I have a povely dd and dp now so very lucky.
My granddad was in a Japenese pow camp for 3 years and still had a happy life afterwards despite being starved and tortured so i count myself very lucky.

MummaBear4321 · 03/11/2020 21:32

No. 2006 was utterly shit for me. I was 15, my grandmother died in the january, someone was murdered behind my house so my parents had a freaked and put the house up for sale. We moved from a city to the middle of nowhere leaving everyone amd everything I knew behind me. I knew nobody, it was a small irish town who were all related to each other, and I was cripplingly lonely. I lived 7 miles from a path let alone a shop. I developed serious depression that I continued to ignore for 2 more years. I was utterly miserable.

No matter how bad this year gets I will always count myself lucky that I have my husband, my daughter, a secure job, a secure home, and that I am about to give birth any day now.

CloudyVanilla · 03/11/2020 21:33

Honestly? No, not at all. I've had a lovely baby, been on maternity leave for 9 months of the year at home with my DC and partner, switched qualification paths so I love the degree I'm studying and am working from home the for foreseeable future. For me personally it's actually been great.

I have so much empathy for people going through the opposite. And also while its great for me at an individual level, I've had this growing background anxiety about the political and environmental state of the world that is getting exponentially worse as we approach the US election. Peak anxiety tonight

Gregariousfox · 03/11/2020 21:34

LividLaughLurve so pleased for you!

lockedownloretta · 03/11/2020 21:35

no 2011 was.
It was like a living nightmare.

This is grim and awful and dull and a bit scary but compared to 2011......

Titsywoo · 03/11/2020 21:35

No - the years when I suffered from very bad anxiety were much worse than this for me. Aside from covid my life is good and has been for a few years.

SunbathingDragon · 03/11/2020 21:35

No, my youngest daughter died a few years ago and that was the worst year and everything else has just been a bereaved blur since.

This year really hasn’t been that bad for me. I like my family being close by and I feel we are all safer this way. Financially we are ok and we don’t get under each other’s feet too much. I do miss socialising with my friends and eating cake with them but we will do that again in the future.

Raffleyourdoughnut · 03/11/2020 21:36

No definitely not. It may sound horrible but covid/lockdown isn't going to be the worst thing to happen to most people. I say this as someone who has lost loved ones to covid.

LindaEllen · 03/11/2020 21:37

Absolutely.
Ironically, I thought 2019 was bad, as we lost 3 close family members. But looking back, given they were all in their 90s and all needing care - two of whom were in residential care - the whole family agree that it was better them going last year than having to live through this.
But 2020 for me has been shocking. First my grandad caught it, and ended up in hospital. We thought he was going to die, nobody was allowed to see him. He was in for a while but thank god he recovered. My gran has sunk into depression, as she had it too and she was constantly worried that she would end up in hospital, that one or both of them would die, we can't go and see her.
My business that I've spent the past decade building up has absolutely gone to shit.
I do a hobby which I adore, which helps hugely with my anxiety, that hasn't been on since March.
My DP is a key worker and it's a horrible working environment for him at the moment.
DSS is at home a lot of the time due to very limited contact at college, and every day is a battle to get him to either do his course work or do ANYTHING that's remotely helpful around the house. It's hit him hard because he was a social lad before and now can't go and see his mates, so I understand why he's acting up - but I also can't cope with everything round the house on my own, DP is working ridiculous hours, so I don't think it's unreasonable to ask a 17yo to help - or at the very least do his own washing and tidy up after himself.
I've just had it with this year.

Meruem · 03/11/2020 21:37

Honestly my childhood years were the worst of my life. Covid doesn’t even come close. I think that’s why even a year or even 2 years or more of this just doesn’t phase me. I got though 16yrs of misery and survived. Poverty, neglect, abuse, oh and to top it off I was bullied at school too, so no respite there either. I feel lucky every day for the life I have now, even with covid.

Winecheesesleep · 03/11/2020 21:38

So sorry for your loss Greenbks Flowers

This year hasn't been great but certainly not the worst for me as we've not been too badly affected so far by covid. The year my mum died was very much my worst year.

kittykat35 · 03/11/2020 21:38

No, I would say it has been one of the best strangely enough. And I have had some shit happen this year too but I don't give that too much head space. Onwards and upwards hopefully.

Crakeandoryx · 03/11/2020 21:39

It's not the worst for me either buy it's turning out to be very stressful and is affecting me mentally. It's not covid or the physical restrictions that are the problem it's having to manage everything that's being as of me and maintain my mental health. I'm failing fast now due to sheer exhaustion and persistent stress. I've hit burnout. I tried, I failed I'm now having to admit defeat.

Em3978 · 03/11/2020 21:39

Not by a long shot.
Can't say I've not suffered with anxiety and depression plenty this year. And my chronic illness has had me more tired and in more pain than any other.

But
I actually enjoyed lockdown for the family time.
We extended our house after 10 years of saving for it.

The first year or two of motherhood had me suicidal, I had a massive breakdown and depended on a lot of meds and people. That was my worst.

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